To think closing times shouldn’t be treated as an estimate? Disagreement with friend AIBU

[friendship1234]

i have been friends with this woman for about two months, met her at work as I recently started a new job.

so, we went out shopping today, to pick up stuff for the kids and just have a browse really. We had a really good time and it was about five to six and we were almost ready to head home. Friend says to me “oh let’s just go into xyz shop” (think discount store like b&m or something.)
I say okay, we go towards the door and I see on the sign they close at 6. I say to her “oh they’re closing in five minutes, do you want to come back another day?”

she goes “oh it’s okay, I only need a few bits” so I’m like okay and we go in. There’s a worker standing at the door telling people that they close soon.

Friend takes a trolley, that should have been my first clue. Im like, maybe she just wants a couple of larger items.
basically, she goes round the shop browsing each aisle as slow as humanly possible it seems like, grabbing stuff off the shelves, comparing prices, asking me whether or not she should buy xyz, etc etc.

well at 6 a staff member goes on the tannoy and does the close announcement, friend is still browsing without a care in the world. I say to her “oh they’re closing now, let’s go to the till” and she goes “well I haven’t finished shopping” in an almost confused voice.

I say to her “I know but the tills are closing and the staff probably want to go home”

her response? “I’m sure they have staff that stay later”

I’ve only known this woman 2 months and I’ve never really see this side of her before so I was a bit shocked really. Anyway, I’m kind of trying to walk faster in the hope that she’ll hurry up and go to the tills. 6.04 a staff member comes down the aisles and is like, we’re closed now so could you please make your way to the tills” my friend goes “oh, excuse me” and then starts asking him if they have any more of something out the back!!! I gave this guy an apologetic look and was like “they’re closed, you can come back another day and ask” and my “friend” goes “I came in the door before 6pm. I came in before closing time, so I’m entitled to be here” and gives me a dirty look I think for not backing her up.

im shellshocked at this point really and I didn’t say anything as I had no idea this is how she behaved and I was really in shock.

The (lovely) store employee basically tells her politely that the tills will be closing imminently so if she wants to buy her shopping, she needs to go and pay now.

Well she huffs, goes (slowly) towards the tills, and I’m just standing there waiting for her to pay so we can leave. I would have waited outside but they’d closed the doors at that point so we needed to wait to be let out!
At the till, friend:
-argues about prices (“the label on the shelf said xyz”
-decides she doesn’t want a few things after all and leaves them at the till
-decides she HAS to buy a bottle of gin which is in a locked cabinet by the tills (I don’t know how the staff were keeping a straight face by this point, I was staring at the floor in second hand embarrassment)

then she takes AGES to get her money out of her wallet, faffs around with small change when she could have just given a 20 and be done with it, decides she wants carrier bags which have to be put through seperately, and FINALLY leaves. At 21 minutes past closing time, all in all. I actually apologised to the staff on the way out.

so once we got out of the shop we got into an argument over this, I said to her I can’t believe you acted that way and she shrugs and says well if you go in the shop before closing time it’s fine, it’s just an estimate not an exact science. She said she was annoyed at me for apologising for her, which she said made her “feel like the bad guy” I was like yeah because you were acting entitled.

basically, wibu to distance myself from her from now on? She has form for being a bit self absorbed but this seemed like a new level of entitlement! I just feel bad for the poor shop staff really. “Friend” says that she used to work in retail and that it really wasn’t an issue and that I was being dramatic and holier than thou. Aibu??

People like her are twats. I wouldn't continue the friendship. She's utterly selfish. I used to have this all the time when I was in retail, I just said I was closing the tills so if they weren't there by the time I went to close the last till, they were leaving empty handed. Selfish pricks.

Your friend has shown her true colours. Take heed

I worked in retail for years as a front end team leader. Trying to get some customers out of the store was like trying to get dog shit of your shoe. In no uncertain terms these customers were informed that they go through the checkout NOW....or they leave the store empty handed. They seem to think that retail workers don't have a life of their own, and they are only there to accommodate those people who, after the store being open for 16 hours, they choose to come in 5 minutes before closing and do a full weeks shop 🤬

God, customers like this used to drive me nuts!! Coming in, making a mess right before closing. Or, picking up loads then deciding actually they didn't want half the stuff after all so it all had to be put back by staff!
Cashing up tills takes time. Some stores staff were paid until 15 minutes past, others an hour, but they were in to do stock work not faff around after stupid bitches like your friend.
I actually told a customer if he continued to refuse to go to the till, 15 minutes past closing, and refused to leave until HE was done shopping, I'd call security on him. He finally left!! Ridiculous.

Agree, everyone should have to work a service role for 6 months and it would stop most of this entitled attitude.

Nah, I couldn't be friends with someone who would do this. What a twat.

Retail staff have so little power and some customers feel so entitled to take advantage of that. It's very unattractive.

People like her are the reason I will NEVER work in retail again.
There's a complete difference between the person running in apologising and grabbing a bottle of milk. Although annoying we've all been there and smile.
Then the others who just plodding along doing the weekly shop 2 minutes before closing.

I used to work in retail and people like your friend were the bane of my life at the end of a long shift. It’s very inconsiderate.

People, like your 'friend', make me so angry and I'd avoid like the plague. Anyone who acts so entitled are clearly total dicks. As a pp said...its so unattractive.

Crappy behaviour. I used to work in retail and I only got paid up to the time the shop closed.

I worked retail for years. Only management were paid to work past shop closing, but whoever was on the close had to stay until cash up and stuff was done because two people had to be there (company rules).

I was very young and just accepted it, but I seethe for my younger self.

I agree that all people should have to work a six month stint in either retail or hospitality.

They wouldn't last a day. Putting up with the shitty behaviour that they dish out...their entitled self would never cope.

I used to work in retail - people like your friend used to irritate me sooooo much! I have never been paid beyond closing time, and the inconsiderate a**eholes would walk around, entitled, even though we told people that we were closing and please could they make their way to the tills.

OP - if I was in your shoes, I’d be cooling off the friendship. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that, and thank you for apologising to the staff, they would have appreciated your apology.

I was in a supermarket in Germany recently (one of the budget chains, can't remember which). I'd gone in just about ten minutes before closing time. A worker came up to me personally to tell me that the tills were closing at exactly 8 (the advertised closing time) and if I was not in line I wouldn't be allowed in line. He said this was announced on the overhead but he'd seen me come in so he knew I'd missed it. At exactly eight, they cut the lights in all of the aisles, so the only lighting was over the checkouts.

We have a man that comes in Monday-Friday hang on close.

If we refuse service he speaks to head office and we get a bollocking

Working in coffee shops is shit sometimes

from a retail workers Point of view, like me, people like her are the devIL. Total selfishness at its best, we don’t want to stay late, what some people don’t realise is that certain things can’t be done until the store is closed so then it’s a domino effect…

Thing is, if the shop's open obviously people are going to go to it. And in a shop where you have to go around finding things for yourself, especially if it's large, that takes time. So the obvious answer is just pay staff for hours worked acknowledging that this is beyond closing time. It's literally what used to happen. No reason it can't now - tesco and b&m and the like make plenty of money.

This customer is using the shop in the way it's set up to be used - things are spread out, you have to ask for cabinets to be opened for certain items, you can pay in cash etc. None of that is wrong. The only thing that's wrong is staff not getting paid for the extra time. And that is on their employer who should have the presence of fucking mind to understand how their store works and build that into their employee pay. It's not hard.

I last worked in retail over 20 years ago and no, we didn't get paid after closing time.

Luckily the vast majority of people understand how opening hours work and come in to begin a big shop, or any activity that will take more than 5 mins, 5 mins before closing.

I think you misunderstand the concept of opening hours which indicate when the shop is open.

YANBU. I haven't worked in retail but used to work in a busy chain store on a Saturday. The shop was open until 6.00pm. The staff were there until 6.20pm but needed to finish tidying up in that time. The time the store closes is the time it closes, not the last time you can enter. I won't go into a store withing the last 15 minutes of closing, unless i know that i can just pick up the item i want and go straight to the till. I wouldn't do it then if it was something i could leave to another day, but i can't remember the last time i have been in a store that close to closing, other than a supermarket on a Sunday. Then there is usually a tanoy message to say that they are closing in 20 minutes, 15 minutes etc, At the point those messages are given i am usually on my way to the till, with my items already scanned so only need to pay. The security guard closes the one door in advance of the store closing, and as i am leaving you still see people walking in through the other door. They have no option as the law doesn't allow them to serve you after the legal number of trading hours.

I disagree. Closing time is closing time. You can go in 5 minutes before if you like, but only if you know you’re grabbing something quickly that you’ll be able to find and pay for in 5 minutes. It’s not about paying staff extra to stay longer, it’s about customers understanding what closing time means. Staff might have plans, buses to catch, kids to collect, things to do. Getting an extra fiver for staying on half an hour late isn’t going to cut it.

Customers need to factor in how long their shopping will take. Like getting a train - if it leaves at 4pm you wouldn’t arrive at the station at 4pm would you, because you’d know it might take you 10 minutes to buy a ticket and get to the platform.

YANBU.

I'll go in just before closing, but I know that if I do then I need to be making a beeline to grab what I want and get queuing for the tills. I figure if I'm in the queue at closing that's fair. Strolling around the aisles past closing is not OK.

I know this is not the point but I'm more astonished that you recently started a new job and have made a friend of a colleague within two months so much so that you've spent your leisure time with her in a personal capacity!

I'd have done this as well.

I worked in retail when I was younger and people like this were absolute dicks. I didn't get paid a second past 6pm but people felt entitled to dither on my own time. I wish I'd had the confidence then to be more firm with them.

That said, she's an adult and it's not really your job to chastise her or correct her manners. If you were uncomfortable you should have made the point by removing yourself. Not by lecturing your friend.

she sounds like a nutter, is she confusing it with a lock in in the pub?!
Any other shenanigans like this I would make some excuse (feel faint, need fresh air kinda thing) and wait outside
if she's weird & flakey in other ways I think I'd back off somewhat

Ditch the bitch.

Honestly, what a dreadful, entitled, arrogant attitude she has. And how embarrassing for you, OP. I'd have done the same as you and apologised to the staff on my way out, too.

Over the years I've worked in various retail positions; the hours are often very long, as others have mentioned there's often extra time you end up working for no pay and you're on your feet all day, and dealing with unpleasant folk whilst earning a shitty wage. It really can be quite spectacularly brutal - people like this woman who have zero empathy are not worth having as friends, you'll see more of this entitled behaviour from her popping up all over the place as time goes on.

Wowwwwwwwww