So I have no idea if I'm in the wrong here.
I dated a guy for 5 years. I always knew he was married and I knew his wife. He told me that he'd confessed to her that he had feelings for me six months before we even got together, but when we started seeing each other she found out within a week and put a stop to it (this was about five years ago).
So... he started meeting me 'as friends' and I thought it had been okayed at home. We talked every day, hanging out. Sometimes she'd find out the extent of our contact and get upset, but he kept framing it as 'just friends' and she'd forgive him. We were obviously way more than just friends -- from my perspective it was a full-time relationship and I was honestly just waiting all the time for those two to have the difficult conversations he kept promising they were just about to have.
After a year or so he started telling me they'd broken up, were just living together but not sharing a bed. I tried ending it and moving away a couple of times but although he never asked me to stay, he kept hinting that they were going to have big conversations and sort out the future. I contacted her a couple of times (because I believed him), and she acknowledged our 'friendship' but wouldn't talk about the relationship. Like she completely blanked it out.
About six months ago I finally ended the relationship. We spoke to each other after a few months and he said he'd fixed his marriage, they had a wonderful sex life now, were the happiest they'd ever been etc. At the same time he rekindled our affair and I was a mess so I let it happen for a few more months. He was coming over all the time, spent the night twice while she was away, told me he loved me and wanted to marry me etc. I got really depressed and ended up in hospital; he stayed the night with me, slept with me, then went on holiday with her and his kid the next day.
A few weeks ago I kind of flipped and told her everything that had happened. They had a big fight and he cut off contact with me. But I guess he lied his way through it because she blanked out everything and stayed with him.
I was visiting friends in their town and passed them in the street. They looked so happy. Like she had utterly blanked out everything that had happened. As if she didn't even know that her husband had a five year affair until a few weeks ago.
The worst part is that she was the other woman once before too. He'd had a previous marriage when he met her and walked out on a newborn baby.
I know such a long affair was awful and I really regret it. At the same time I'm so angry with them both. I can't believe that they can just skip around and act like they have the happiest marriage in the world so soon after finding out about the affair.
BTW he already has a new girlfriend, she's more than half his age and is younger than his own daughter. I guess his wife just blanked that out too. I am so pissed off that she believes his lies and didn't hear a word I said, probably still believes that me and her husband were 'just friends' for five years. I have 100,000 texts, photos, videos, messages and thousands of hours of call logs proving the opposite.
I'm so angry at them both and at myself. Am I being unreasonable?