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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my nephew was rude and unkind

74 replies

Vintagejazzing · 17/06/2023 13:31

My nephew and a friend were trespassing in the grounds of a block of flats near where they live. A resident opened her window and told them it was private property and they couldn't hang around there. Apparently she had very sparse hair and they immediately started jeering at her, calling her baldy, saying she needed to brush her hair etc. A friend of my sister saw the incident and said it was obvious the women had some kind of medical condition or was undergoing chemotherapy. My nephew is fifteen and really should have known better.

My sister was defending her son, saying the friend had implied he was being unkind etc and it was unfair. I said I thought his behaviour was a disgrace and she should be ashamed.
She's now not talking to me. AIBU to think she should be having words with her son. God knows what distress he's caused that poor woman with his rude thoughtless comments.

OP posts:
PuffinsRocks · 17/06/2023 13:33

The thing is she's raised a son who sees no issue with speaking to people like that, so she's not a reasonable person who can be reasoned with.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 17/06/2023 13:33

The nephew showed disgusting behaviour and I would be ashamed if a child of mine behaved like that. Your sister is sticking her head in the sand.

Sirzy · 17/06/2023 13:34

With a mother who defends such behaviour then it’s no suprise she has raised a child who trespasses and abuses people

Couldyounot · 17/06/2023 13:34

Think we might have found the reason why he behaves like that

Marblessolveeverything · 17/06/2023 13:35

I have a 15 year old thankfully he is a reasonable young man. If he had done this he would loose all privileges. The absolute scroate of a nephew, nasty side of his personality.

IHadTheLasagne · 17/06/2023 13:36

I would be livid if my 6 nearly 7 year old spoke to someone like that, let alone a 15 year old.YANBU but your sister is.

Vintagejazzing · 17/06/2023 13:39

To be honest, I'm surprised at her. She's not overly strict but she does normally tell him off for bad behaviour etc. On this occasion she's being really defensive though saying he's only 15, he wouldn't have realised she's ill etc. I asked her if the woman's hair was just naturally very thin would it have been ok for her son to insult her for simply asking them not to trespass on private grounds. She just said 'everyone' was getting at him, he'd never be deliberately hurtful. 😕

OP posts:
Somanysocks · 17/06/2023 13:40

Well he was deliberately hurtful. She should be ashamed.

MissyB1 · 17/06/2023 13:40

She should be absolutely ashamed of him - but also herself. If she defends this kind of behaviour then the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.

ditalini · 17/06/2023 13:41

How strange that those words popped into his head quite randomly when he wasn't being deliberately hurtful.

He sounds like a horrible person. I would be furious and so ashamed of his behaviour.

TheSnowyOwl · 17/06/2023 13:41

It’s always very difficult to know based on something that is third or fourth hand information. Based on what you’ve said, I agree with you.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 17/06/2023 13:42

She should be ashamed of him and herself. She raised a horrible child like him. Parents who defend their shitty behaved children are shitty parents.

Anewuser · 17/06/2023 13:43

Apart from the trespass, this could be seen as a hate crime if she has a protected characteristic.

Inkypot · 17/06/2023 13:43

YANBU
I'm on the app and it doesn't let you vote sorry.
But you're right he lacked respect to be trespassing anyway and then to do what he did. Sounds like maybe his mum has been given a different account by her son and is siding with him. Hope the woman who got shouted at is ok.

Testina · 17/06/2023 13:45

Your sister is trash, your nephew is trash.

I wouldn’t even know if she wasn’t talking to me, as I’d have cut her off myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

VisionsOfSplendour · 17/06/2023 13:45

Maybe she's embarrassed at her poor parenting so is minimizing it

No one is going to disagree with you question unless they themselves are rude and unkind

Bivarb · 17/06/2023 13:52

Horrible little fucker. She might have alopecia or be going through the effects of cancer treatment. Or just be unfortunate enough to have thinning hair.

So cruel to laugh at someone's appearance. How your sister can think he wasn't being deliberately cruel is just stupid.

1 in 2 people will get cancer, so maybe in the future he'll think about his comments when it's him or someone he loves going through treatment and it's side effects. May karma bite him in the arse!

Stickybackplasticbear · 17/06/2023 13:52

He sounds like a little shit and she should definitely know better. If he's doing crap like this though and she behaves like that no wonder.

N27 · 17/06/2023 13:53

Not deliberately hurtful? Offensive words don’t just fall out of your mouth!!

he’s being vile and she knows it, but because she knows everyone else can also see it she mistakenly thinks he needs someone on his side

YouJustDoYou · 17/06/2023 13:56

Oh, I would come down on my own child if they said that like an absolute ton of bricks. Horrible little bullying shit.

readbooksdrinktea · 17/06/2023 13:56

He was deliberately cruel and a brat. Some mothers will defend their children whatever they do, though. It stops being surprising after a while.

Justleaveitblankthen · 17/06/2023 13:58

What a nasty, horrible and hurtful young man your sister has raised.

It's never OK to attack a person's appearance.

He should have apologised for trespassing and left quietly.

Poor woman to be picked on by a bunch of angry young men.
So big and clever of them!

Justleaveitblankthen · 17/06/2023 14:00

Why don't you send your sister a link to this thread OP?

Bagpuss2022 · 17/06/2023 14:04

Kids do say stupid things but he’s reaction is the real issue if that was one of mine they would know about it no tech no privileges etc

Inkypot · 17/06/2023 14:07

Justleaveitblankthen · 17/06/2023 14:00

Why don't you send your sister a link to this thread OP?

Oh aye, cos that wouldn't cause more bother 😄