To think my nephew was rude and unkind

[Vintagejazzing]

My nephew and a friend were trespassing in the grounds of a block of flats near where they live. A resident opened her window and told them it was private property and they couldn't hang around there. Apparently she had very sparse hair and they immediately started jeering at her, calling her baldy, saying she needed to brush her hair etc. A friend of my sister saw the incident and said it was obvious the women had some kind of medical condition or was undergoing chemotherapy. My nephew is fifteen and really should have known better.

My sister was defending her son, saying the friend had implied he was being unkind etc and it was unfair. I said I thought his behaviour was a disgrace and she should be ashamed.
She's now not talking to me. AIBU to think she should be having words with her son. God knows what distress he's caused that poor woman with his rude thoughtless comments.

Maybe she's embarrassed at her poor parenting so is minimizing it

I wonder this too. If he'd been a bit silly or thoughtless, it would be easier to tell him off and rein him in a bit; but to realise what utter nastiness your own child is capable of must be quite a game-changer and make some people feel forced to pick a side that's for or against them.

I can't think of any other reason why she would be calling up down, black white, east west or hatefully attacking and abusing a vulnerable, upset and/or very ill person just for asking you not to trespass on her property not an unkind (to put it extremely mildly) thing to do.

The boys were thoughtless and unkind little shits.

Poor woman to be picked on by a bunch of angry young men.
So big and clever of them!

I wonder if some of these teenage lads either don't realise it or otherwise deliberately exploit it - the fact that, although in many cases they're still in 'child mode', they're now bigger and stronger than most women, and thus can be very threatening to them indeed, especially when in a group/gang.

I rather think that, considering they rarely treat men this way, it's most probably the latter.

I think it really depends on the whole situation. How were they told they were trespassing? Ive seen elderly people be very rude to teenagers for no reason at all. They yell and scold instead of just asking nicely.
And if she did speak rudely to them first, then the rude reply doesnt surprise me. Thats not to say its great of course, bit he is still a teenager and they speak before they think a lot.

I bet her son is an ugly twit as well as a cruel swine.

Telling a trespasser that they’re in private property and they can’t hang around there is not rude. Sounds like you have similarly entitled teens.

Presumably the friend who saw it would have clarified if the woman was giving them an especially hard time?

Teens can be idiots so he has more excuse than an adult but he needs a bollocking. I suspect your sister is embarrassed, so leave her be. He ought to be made to go and apologise though - or just drop a card, which this poor woman would probably prefer.

Apart from just being rude, as PP said, it’s not something your DN and his friend would have likely said to a big bloke, so they also need to be aware that picking on someone likely physically weaker is very dickish indeed.

I would be mortified if any of my kids behaved like this.

Fair point Guv' 😂👍

I would want to know if my son had been an absolute shit, and I would have been having words. Can't stand people that Billy others no matter what.

YANBU.

What a little cretin of a nephew you have.

And he'll grow up to be a selfish, entitled man-child. Just fabulous - because we don't have enough of those already. 🙄

Shocking behaviour from your sister and your nephew. She should be ashamed for standing up for him.

This, I think kids like hers are just trash. I saw this recently at well, shits jeering at a man using a walking stick.

Maybe she's covering her embarassment.
Or maybe she's only really strict about behaviour that offends or inconveniences her personally.

What a little shit. Mind you, sounds like he takes after his mother.

Are you really going to be miss her during her period of radio silence, @Vintagejazzing ?

Agreed.

Never mind her not speaking to you. I'd not be having contact with either him or her until they'd reconsidered their behaviour.

The nephews words are disgusting, but with a mother who defends such words he wasn’t ever going to turn out nice. If your sister isn’t disgusted it says a lot about her parenting style, and the fact he thought it was ok to say it means he probably is used to saying vile things about people and to people. A parent who enables bad behaviour like this is going to raise an entitled bully.

I would be very upset if my 5 year old behaved like this!

I think theres a difference between “Guys this is private property.” And “Get the f away from here this is private!”

But he isn’t “only just 15”, he is 15 and could be working in a year. He’s nearly an adult and need to have consequences for his actions. I think your SIL is still seeing him as her little boy which he always will be but he’s not a small child at 15 and needs to stop treating him like he’s 3.

Yes, I was thinking embarrassment too because I would be utterly ashamed!

Your sister should be insisting he at least writes her a note of apology.

How would he like it if another boy his age started verbally abusing him about his appearance after trespassing in his garden? I'm guessing your sister wouldn't be saying 'well, the 15 year old boy didn't know', then.

He's also going to end up in police rouble for his antisocial behaviour.

Still doesn’t excuse the teens deliberately nasty response.

If you have teens, you’ll know which ones of their cohort are the sort that will have a criminal record by the time they’re 20. This 15yr old lad is clearly heading that way too. 🙁

Your nephew is a nasty little shit. I have alopecia and its comments like that which made me feel compelled to buy and wear wigs even in 32 degree heat 🥵 words have consequences.

FFS. Seriously? Would you, I wonder, be making excuses for this horrible boy's behaviour if he was a teenage girl? Some women will excuse any shitty behaviour as long as it was done by a male. 🙄

How horrible to be so rude about a child.

She probably has wiped the floor with her son and is ashamed of his behaviour, but being his Mum it’s probably instinct to defend him in front of others. She doesn’t need to explain to anyone about any conversations she’s had with her son about this abhorrent behaviour. I bet in truth she’s gutted about what he’s done, I know I would be.