To take toddler to visit unwell Dad in hospital?

[hospitalvisitor]

Long story short, my partner got admitted to hospital quite suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday. He's pretty unwell and has needed several blood transfusions. He is asking to see our (only just turned) 2 year old DD as this will cheer him up. And obviously its Fathers day tomorrow and he's spending it hooked up to drips which isn't great for him. He's checked with the ward staff and they're fine for children to visit, no age restrictions, so long as it's within visiting times. She's generally well behaved as toddlers go, and obviously I won't allow her to run around ward.

However, my worry is that it could upset her seeing her Dad unwell and she won't understand why he can't come home with us. I'm worried about the impact on her and also on my own stress levels of carrying a distressed toddler out of a busy hospital. But at the same time it's Father's Day tomorrow and my poor partner is really down and unwell.

Wwyd?

I would take her OP. I think that as long as you act calm and relaxed, and give her an age appropriate explanation about why daddy can't come home yet, she will be fine.

Take her

Of course you take her. Daddy needs medication and they are looking after him in hospital. She will have him home as soon as he is well.

What a hard time you're having, big hugs OP. My gut says take her, he will love to see her and she will love to see her dad. Maybe take some one else who can support you or take her out if she gets unsettled or bored.

But if it will be too unsettling for you do what you feel is best.

Thanks everyone. I'll take her. Just so hard trying to do the right thing for everyone. I don't want my partner to be upset at me not bringing her, but equally i don't want our DD to become upset that Daddy can't come home. 🙁

Please take her, she will be fine. Maybe she could take a drawing to leave with her dad or take some pens and paper so they can draw together. My Dd was 2 when my husband had a stroke last year and was in hospital for a week, it did them both good to see each other. We were lucky that there was a visitors room we could go to so she was less disruptive and that there were little garden areas you could go and sit in too. Hope he is ok and back home with you soon.

Definitely take her. You can explain that the drips etc are medicine to make daddy better.

She's only just turned 2 as well, so she doesn't have the level of understanding for me to properly explain. She wouldnt understand for example what medicine or doctor means.

She does understand "bed", "sleep" and "lie down" etc, so I could tell her daddy is having a lie down and a sleep and we will see him again soon. Maybe.

She loves her colouring books, this is a good idea thank you

Take her. She will read your emotions if you're fine and positive she will be. Both my parents were hospitalised after a car accident when I was about 4. My aunt who was minding me thought seeing them in hospital would be upsetting for me but I just did not understand where they were, there one minute gone the next. They were in hospital about 2 weeks I would have been better seeing them in hospital I was left quite anxious after and a massive worrier if they weren't around.

Thank you, yes it's really stressful, I'm obviously worried sick about him whilst trying to be strong for my DD and be as normal as possible. Hard to know what to do to keep them both happy. 🙁

She'll be fine. She'll see Daddy poorly in bed like when she's poorly just in a different place. She'll help the two of you see things more simply as well.

Hope you get some good news soon.

She’ll be fine, my husbands back in hospital after burning himself a few weeks ago, he needed another operation on a skin graft. I took our daughter yesterday (turning two in autumn), she was fine, she had a great time with a sick bowl, they make a great hat. She wasn’t allowed to visit last time as he was on the burns ward which was strictly no children due to infection control, that was however a problem as her Papa had vanished for a week.

Only you can say whether your DD would be upset by it or not. My youngest would be fine with it. My oldest would have been upset at 2

You take her and you manage her behaviour and expectations.
She'll feed off your emotions/actions etc
I think you're being a bit dramatic

The hospital ward where I work doesn't allow children due to infection risk to them. I personally don't agree with the rule because I think parents should be trusted to make decisions based on what's best for their family. I would take her and just try to keep things as positive as possible.

I took my my toddler DC with me to visit their grandfather in the last hour before he died. I definitely know that their grandfather truly lived for their visits in the last few days so I am glad they were able to go.

However, it didn't upset my DC at all as they really didn't seem to know what was going on and it all seemed like rather an adventure to them. If they had expressed any stress or confusion I would have taken them out of the room, so I would have a back up plan in case your DC does become upset etc.

I hope your DP gets better soon.

Children that age understand a lot more than we often think- just because she can't verbally communicate those words to you doesn't mean she doesn't understand them.

I think seeing her will be of even more benefit to her as she must be wondering where he is and if she isn't very verbal yet won't be able to ask you.

I hope he has a swift recovery and you're all home together soon

🙄🙄
Yeah nothing like a dramatic response to trying to suddenly juggle my life solo with a seriously unwell partner.

Some people! Seriously?

Thank you to those who've posted helpful messages, it's much appreciated at a very incredibly stressful time for me

@Achwheesht

Yeah I'm sure. I know the words she uses and understands. It's quite a range but medical concepts are not something she's come across in her 2 years as yet - thankfully of course! So she has no idea even what a hospital is and why you would go there. She's literally only just turned 2 like I say and she's never had a need to be in a hospital apart from when she born in one.