To take toddler to visit unwell Dad in hospital?

[hospitalvisitor]

Long story short, my partner got admitted to hospital quite suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday. He's pretty unwell and has needed several blood transfusions. He is asking to see our (only just turned) 2 year old DD as this will cheer him up. And obviously its Fathers day tomorrow and he's spending it hooked up to drips which isn't great for him. He's checked with the ward staff and they're fine for children to visit, no age restrictions, so long as it's within visiting times. She's generally well behaved as toddlers go, and obviously I won't allow her to run around ward.

However, my worry is that it could upset her seeing her Dad unwell and she won't understand why he can't come home with us. I'm worried about the impact on her and also on my own stress levels of carrying a distressed toddler out of a busy hospital. But at the same time it's Father's Day tomorrow and my poor partner is really down and unwell.

Wwyd?

But yes of course I will talk to her continuously and explain it all, but am I confident she will fully understand what I'm explaining? Unlikely. Maybe parts of it.

Take her but get him to record a video message beforehand that she can watch and see that daddy looks unwell in it.

I went to see my grandad in hospital after a heart attack when I was 3.

My parents took a toy stethoscope with us and I was apparently pretending to listen to his heart and "checked he was ok". Of course, they told me he was ok and would be out of hospital at some point when he was 100% better, but that he needed a rest for rhe time being. Maybe you could do something similar.

They understand a lot more than you think and pick up on how you're dealing with stuff. If you go in confident etc, she'll pick up on it and it'll allay her fears.

Take him as your partner wants to see him

Take her omg!!

I spent 3 months in hospital and my wonderful husband bought my 2 year old to see me every other day. This was only some months back.

Please take her, I don't know why you wouldn't!

Also, toddlers just seem to adapt.

My little girl got a bit upset the first couple of times, but nothing drastic. It was far more upsetting for me.

She eventually loved it, chatted to all the other patients and she is now not afraid of doctors and nurses!

You seem to think that the only words she understands are the ones she uses herself. Don't worry, she'll understand FAR more than the words she repeats back to you. Definitely take a drawing pad and some crayons so she can(hopefully) sit beside him and they can colour together (depending on how poorly he is).xx

Another vote for take her and just make ending calm with another activity planned

To prepare there is "get well soon" on iPlayer which helped me prepare my daughter for various tests and surgery when she was 2.

Maybe look into getting a toy doctors kit at some point to do role play about doctors and them saying - you need to have some rest in hospital for a few days.

I don’t think she will really understand enough to be scared or upset as that’s her daddy. I think as long as your partner is well enough to interact and spend time with her then take her. Take something for her to do with him or by herself too. You could Take a gift for him, maybe a card she can make today.
If she gets a bit upset/tired you can leave with her explain that to dp prior, so you’re not disturbing anyone but means he gets some time with her and it’s as positive as possible, even if it’s short.

Once you’ve left do something nice together - ice cream or similar. So sorry you’re going though a horrendous time, I hope your partner is on the mend soon and things improve but do look after yourself too 😊

I remember non-verbal DS wailing all the way down the lift shaft after visiting me at that age, but he certainly got the hang of it after that.

I think it make it easier to explain what is going on once they have been there and seen what a hospital is.

Keep it short and sweet, and yes, ice cream or something afterwards.

Just because I didn't want to upset her. It's hard to know what to do for the best.

But yes, I've decided to take her. I'll be armed with colouring books and a gift & card for daddy and we will go somewhere nice for tea afterwards as a treat.

It might help if you watch Dr Ranj’s Get Well Soon - there is a series where he’s based in a hospital and the characters go for different treatment. Just as a way of introducing the concept to her if it’s new. Hope your DP has a speedy recovery.

Take her, she will take her cues from you. If you are happy and positive and upbeat, she isn't going to be scared or upset. Even at two she can understand the basics of sick and seeing doctors / getting taken care of in the hospital. To her she is just seeing her dad in a different place. She doesn't understand the nuances of health conditions or health care.

I took my 3 year old to see my Dad in Papworth after heart surgery because he wanted to see her. She is much older now and remembers it fondly, she was dressed in a disney princess dress (not a battle I was willing to have that day!) She got loads of attention from the nurses and remembers playing with his hospital bed controls.
Hope you husband makes a quick recovery.

We went and it was fine ☺️ She was really good, just sat colouring with Daddy. She was pointing to the cannula in his arm asking "what's that?" so we just explained Daddy needed medicine to get better. She was mostly unfazed really - I underestimated her!

She did get a little upset when we had to leave and kept trying to get hold of his hand saying "come on Daddy", that was hard ☹️, and she cried a little on the way out but was easily distracted by going out for some tea and treats etc. Thanks all for the advice. I'm glad I took her as it's really perked him up.

Good outcome, OP! Wishing your DH a good recovery.

Glad it went well OP, hope your DH has a speedy recovery.

Take her - but also take her buggy. Hospitals can be daunting for little children, and it’s often a long long walk between the car park and the wards. If shes ion her buggy, she can play with a toy, have a nap, eat something whilst you talk with your dp.
Hope he feels a bit better x

AAgh! Sorry, just saw your update. Gland it went well.

Take her. You don't get the time back. And it sounds like they both want it x

Sorry, late to the party obviously!

I'm glad you took her, OP.

It's a sad fact that some small children do have to cope with family (including parents) getting cancer, having serious accidents, becoming disabled, etc and you can hardly hide them away from it.

Not that I'm saying anything so serious is the case with your poor DH, of course! Just that your DD won't be the first nor last little girl to visit a very poorly mummy or daddy in hospital!

Forgot to say, I hope your DH gets better soon.