To take toddler to visit unwell Dad in hospital?

[hospitalvisitor]

Long story short, my partner got admitted to hospital quite suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday. He's pretty unwell and has needed several blood transfusions. He is asking to see our (only just turned) 2 year old DD as this will cheer him up. And obviously its Fathers day tomorrow and he's spending it hooked up to drips which isn't great for him. He's checked with the ward staff and they're fine for children to visit, no age restrictions, so long as it's within visiting times. She's generally well behaved as toddlers go, and obviously I won't allow her to run around ward.

However, my worry is that it could upset her seeing her Dad unwell and she won't understand why he can't come home with us. I'm worried about the impact on her and also on my own stress levels of carrying a distressed toddler out of a busy hospital. But at the same time it's Father's Day tomorrow and my poor partner is really down and unwell.

Wwyd?

Brilliant and the best thing for you, her and your dh. Sending positive vibes and wish your dh 💐a speedy recovery

I'd take her, and have another adult with you. Then when Dad and toddler have a had a few minutes, friend can take her off for a walk.

I don't think she'll be at all distressed, she's seen dad in bed before and it will cheer him up. He's probably pretty scared and worried.

Your husband had been in hospital 24 hrs at this point. Juggling your life solo?

Take her. Hope your partner feels better soon x

Could you take two little presents of things they love with you. One for you to squirrel to her Dad to give her when you arrive and one to give her as you leave? We did this with our toddler when I had to stay in hospital after their sibling was born and I was hooked up and definitely didn’t look my usual self. It really helped distract them at the key moments.

Take her!
You're not being over dramatic - you're just (understandably) worried and none of us think straight when super stressed/worried.
It'll do him so much good to see her.
Suggestions on here ... take little activities, take another adult who can take her for a 'wander' if she needs it ... all good ideas.
Having her with you may calm you too - it's surprising how children 'normalise' things.
If the hospital staff have said it's Ok - that's a good sign too.
AND it's Fathers' Day - what better present than that?
Good Luck, and hope he recovers soon 😘

@widowtwankywashroom

Yes, juggling it solo. He was very unwell for at least a week, maybe longer, prior before he got admitted so I've been solo for a while.

Any other particularly useful contributions you'd like to make to my thread while my partner is unwell in hospital and I'm worried sick out of my mind?

Get a life, seriously.

Thanks to the nice, normal people who've contributed helpfully and empathically. Much appreciated. As I said yesterday, I took her and it went very well. I'm glad I did.

I honestly think you are underestimating your child level of understanding. My first understood what 'unwell/poorly' was well before 18m - she's day 'mummy calpol for ouchy' etc. She visited her grandma in hospital at the same age -, again, fine. She's visited me in hospital when I had her sibling and was under 2 at the right and fine.

My second ended up seriously ill in hospital for a couple of months when 2, and her level of understanding and maturity amazed me.

I'm glad it went well. They definitely take in more than you realise.

Definitely take her. And I'm sorry things are hard right now

@hospitalvisitor I'm glad the visit yesterday went ok. If your little one goes to any childcare setting it would be worth letting them know the situation (if you haven't had a chance already). Mine were great and really kept an eye on her for me in case she was behaving differently than normal.

We made sure to FaceTime as well as visit, love the fact you managed to do a little treat for her too. We would stop off for a croissant on the way home (which she loves). If he is able to eat normally, maybe a bit of baking she can take in and share? If he is going to be in a bit longer then there may be some books that people can recommend. My little girl has a doctors dress up kit and we fix her animals etc, anything really to engage her and try and make it less serious.

Mine did become a bit more clingy to daddy when he was back home, he was off work for 6 months so she got used to having him around, plus her sleep was a little disturbed while he was away

I hope he is better and home soon. Make sure you have some downtime as it's really hard balancing home life and keeping that running and spending time visiting the hospital

@Kayjay2018

Thank you, what a lovely post. Yes it's certainly exhausting. 🙁

My DD goes to nursery a few days a week so I will definitely let them know so they can keep an eye on her. So far she is managing OK and we are FaceTiming daddy as often as possible when he's up to it.

@hospitalvisitor I'm glad your visit went well yesterday!

when are you next taking her?

How is DP actually doing? Do they know what's wrong with him yet?

How are YOU doing? Do you have any family/friends 'being there' for you & DD.

If you work, let them know too.

be kind to yourself, do what you can to make it easier, DD will survive in less than ideal dinners & earlier/later bedtimes & fewer baths than normal etc.