Pride Day

[Itsmyshadow]

DD8’s school have a Pride Day coming up. It’s being run by a local LGBTQ organisation who are coming in to hold workshops and assemblies with the kids.

All great on the face of it. I completely support the fact that people are attracted to others of the same sex and that children should be told same sex relationships are as normal and valid as heterosexual relationships.

DD8 has always been interested in things that are more stereotypically associated with boys (football, gaming, Pokémon etc), her closest friends are boys, she plays for a boy’s sports team. She’s had periods over the last few years where she has insisted she is a boy. These periods tend to coincide with an incident e.g. a boy at school telling her girls can’t play football and go away completely when she sees girls like her e.g. watching the England in the Women’s Euros.

She last year joined a girls football academy and all talk of being a boy has gone away. She’s made friendships with girls and seems happy in who she is.

Now on to Pride Day, so the company has sent out some slides in advance to allay any fears. It seems the KS2 programme will be delivered by a guy who identifies as non binary and there are slides on things such as “assigned sex” and lots of pictures of this guy in a dress.

I’m worried the kids will all be told they can just change their gender and it’s as simple as that (apparently everything will be explained at a very high level and in simple terms). I’m worried this will sow the seed in DD’s head that she can be a boy if she wishes, without telling her all the difficulties that would be involved.

WIBU to not let her go to school that day? And would you tell the school why? I think we should email and explain. DH thinks we should just put in a holiday request and cite we are going away for the weekend (we would actually go to his parents so it wouldn’t be a lie, but it would be pretty obvious why we’d chosen the date, and I’d rather explain to the school rather than them think we’re homophobic - which we are definitely not!). DH thinks whatever way we try to explain it to the school they’ll interpret it badly.

OP, I'm a primary school teacher.

I'd be keeping mine off school that day too and I'd be telling the school why.

YANBU

My DD wouldn't go to school that day and tbh I don't think many others would. Talk to the school.

It is vital for a child to understand that gender is a social construct and they can chose to play “male” sports and wear trousers and dresses without being teased.

I agree with that, but sadly in the current climate I would not feel confident that the adults in school might not go further than this and stray into evangelistic non-factual territory. My child would not be in school.

Learning that gender is a social construct isn't the problem. It's the likelihood that they'll imply that man, woman, male and female are genders and gender is a spectrum, sowing the seeds of the idea that we are all on a spectrum between male and female, and what someone identifies as is always more relevant than what they are. Educated people in this day and age fall for this, what chance do 8yr olds have?

it sounds worrying. Contact the school in advance, I expect you won’t be the only parent.
mid she goes she can come home and you can ask about her day and what was said.
if not won’t she just talk to her friends and get a description (likely inaccurate) or what was said? She may find it especially interesting as she missed it. She may just think that you had a holiday but she might think you are hiding something and try to find answers elsewhere.

No way would my child be attending this. Keep her off for the day.

Humans can’t change sex. Kids shouldn’t be being indoctrinated that we can.

Humans can be gay, straight or bisexual. And that’s it. There is no innate gender identity - only sex, observed and recorded at birth. Your DD may grow up to be a lesbian or bi (either is fine) or just a straight woman who is a tomboy and likes football (also fine). Don’t let her be lied to.

When children are taught something in a lesson at school, they believe it as fact above what a parent might say.

Personally I would be going through the slides one by one and emailing specific issues to the head & governors. If the lesson wasn’t withdrawn I would take her out of school & tell them why.

At primary age, children should be taught about diversity in that families can be made up of 2 mums or 2 dads or any combination of single mums, dads, step-families etc not just one mum & one dad. Why do they need more than that?

If you asked ‘Do you think gender stereotypes like girls can’t play football or boys shouldn’t learn to cook are wrong?’ Then the majority of people will agree that it is wrong. But the same people will then buy into the whole gender ideology that is based on these stereotypes AND CAN’T SEE THE CONTRADICTION. It drives me mad!

Definitely keep her at home, so many red flags from the info. you have shared about the day. There is a risk to your daughter attending, a risk you have no need to take.

I hope you would take it up with the school too as there are possibly safeguarding and other concerns which could of course affect all the children attending.

a doctor assigns your sex at birth

That’s an outright lie, as all adults know. But children believe what adults tell them, so it’s important that you should point this out to the school. And primary age is too early to be learning about adult fantasies such as genderism.

I’d keep my son off. He’s on the spectrum and very naive. He knows that gay couples exist and that it’s perfectly okay for them to be together . He has a gay uncle. But he’s not going to taught nonsense about gender ideology. In the U.K. we teach them about religions and faiths and use ‘x believe y’ and so on so that they understand the faith in question without it being presented as a truth. These rainbow people don’t do that, they’ll state that that you can change sex like it’s a truth and it’s not. For this reason I wouldn’t trust them to be dictate because the language is that of someone trying to indoctrinate. So I’d support a boycott of the lesson to be honest.

To educate!! Stupid phone.

I would totally be keeping her off- she’s 8 not 18 and does not need to be brainwashed into thinking she can change her sex.

I'd keep her off also.

priDEMONth

Firstly I would be making an appointment with the head. I have done this and it went well I have had policy changes through meetings.

Second if nothing changes you keep her off that day. I will not let my kid be taught ideology.

Keep her off. My dds both knew from a young age that some men what to live with/marry other men and there's nothing wrong with that. But as the mother of a teenage lesbian , the longer you can keep them from being exposed to the harmful regressive stereotypes and the rapey homphobic notion that a lesbian can have a penis the better...

Assigned sex is stolen language from people with DSD (previously "intersex") and was used where, due to abnormalities of an either male or female baby, the sex was unclear, so one would be assigned.

In 99.9999999% cases there is no ambiguity and sex is observed.

Both "assigned at birth" and "cis" are terms stolen to try and legitimise an ideology.

Regardless of whether my daughter had a history of being unsure of their gender, she would not be attending school that day, or the day after as no doubt the kids will be discussing things.

But this isn’t really the point I am making. Again, you are having an emotional response because of your own convictions and you are free to express it to your child in a conversation. However, declining them and educational opportunity and a different point of view is a short-sighted solution. They will get this information elsewhere and in a much more crude form.
The approach we took with our child is to have anything up for discussion at home. You were told this at school/heard it on the internet etc? Ok, what are your thoughts about that? Was anything confusing/unsettling? Here is what dad (conservative and, dare I say, right wing) thinks. Here is what I (liberal) think. Here is what feminist theory has to say (trans women are not women), here is what LGBT theory says. Here is an age-appropriate book on the matter. Can you see that these are opinions and there is no right or wrong approach? What do you think about this at the moment? Can you see how we can all have a different opinion and still have an intelligent discussion about that? Etc. etc.

This is an exhausting way to parent but hopefully ensures that we have a well-rounded human at the end of it who feels like she can trust us to have these discussions and also be able to think critically.

If you think it through, no one can ever be “born into the wrong body”. We only get one body and there’s nothing healthy about disassociating from it. To use this term about people who want to align themselves with the sex stereotypes typically associated with the opposite sex to their own is actually quite insulting to, for example, anyone with a physical disability who feels stuck with a body that can’t do what they want it to.

A child especially an 8 year old wouldmy sit akd listen for more than a couple of minutes. " feminist theory" here is basic biology. It shouldn't be presented as a believe system alongside gender vhosts aliens and god.

Knowing facts about reality about their bodies is essential for their safety and health and well being. Not an additional belief to be taught.

Agree

Not appropriate for primary school children. Contact the school with links to the relevant Safe Schools Alliance resources and express your concerns.

Thanks all. Glad I’m not being unreasonable. I’d already drafted an email raising my concerns (not yet sent) but I’m tempted to word it more strongly after reading your support.

I think most parents are oblivious to what will be taught (the slides have only been sent to me because I requested them). I therefore can’t see many people raising concerns. I think anyone who’s fully against the notion of teaching anything LGBT will not send their kids in and won’t have asked to see the slides as decision will have been already made. Most other people will just send their kids in without knowing the content.

Consent? She's 8!