Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A really nice way to cancel my plans tomorrow?

80 replies

Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:34

I have had a WEEK! And I’m supposed to be seeing a friend tomorrow afternoon (which is my afternoon off). We’ve changed the plans three times now so I will feel very guilty for cancelling.

I have absolutely no excuse except: I just can’t be bothered and I need to do nothing because I’m tapped out.

Give me a really nice way to cancel my plans!

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/06/2023 20:34

Why’s it been moved before?

Rollonannualeave · 15/06/2023 20:35

You have a vomiting bug or diarrhea

FlyingSoap · 15/06/2023 20:35

Be honest.

Humanswarm · 15/06/2023 20:35

I feel like this often. On the times I really can't be bothered and on the verge of cancelling, and I go. I tend to not regret it.
Maybe give it a go..some time with a friend may be just what you need to relax.

SalmonEile · 15/06/2023 20:36

Were the previous changes made by you or was it mutual

Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:37

The first time it was her - she forgot. The second time it was her too, she had a poorly child (this is legitimate, her child was quite poorly though is completely fine now). The third time it was me - I had to work unexpectedly!

I sort of feel like if I cancel tomorrow we won’t rearrange. But ahh… I really want to not get in the car tomorrow and just have an afternoon off doing anything!

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 15/06/2023 20:37

Just go - you might have fun. I'm going to London to see a friend at the weekend and was secretly hoping they might cancel, but the relationship is more important to me than cancelling is.

Don't be the flaky friend!

Augend23 · 15/06/2023 20:37

Have you rearranged 3x or have you and she rearranged that many times between you?

Honestly I would suck it up and go. Could you adjust the plans to something low key (walk and a coffee) or whatever.

arlequin · 15/06/2023 20:37

Definitely go! Would be such a shame not to.

Royalbloo · 15/06/2023 20:37

Unless you're happy to lose the friendship?

dudsville · 15/06/2023 20:39

Depends. If this is a good friend then give her a call, explain. Possibly change plans so that you don't have to get in the car. Can she come to you?

Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:39

We aren’t super close, and live about 40 mins away from each other. I like her a lot, but it was a friendship that began through NCT and has dwindled as she moved further away, and our kids stopped being friends (because life goes on etc when a friend moves).

I very much like her, though; but we’re not close friends.

OP posts:
rainyskylight · 15/06/2023 20:40

If you cancel and it’s already changed three times I think it could damage the friendship. You may feel better with the company. Could you explain you’re knackered and suggest she comes over and you just hang out and drink tea or something?

hattyhathat · 15/06/2023 20:41

I think you need to go or accept the friendship has drifted and neither of you can be arsed with it. Which is fine.

Severntrent · 15/06/2023 20:41

I'd go. Getting together with a friend is sometimes just the thing to clear your mind after a busy time.
And its annoying to be cancelled on at last minute!

RedRobyn2021 · 15/06/2023 20:42

I'd go OP, I often feel like I'd rather just stay home but when I make myself go 9/10 I have a lovely time and it rejuvenates me.

Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:43

She doesn’t drive, so she’d struggle to get here I think. It really does need to be me going to see her. We both have school pickups at 3:30 as well!

I’m meant to be there at 12:30, will have to leave at 2:30 (to be on the safe side to pick up for school).

You’re probably right that it’ll damage the friendship if I cancel! Ohhh for some energy!

OP posts:
greyhairnomore · 15/06/2023 20:45

You might feel better in the morning ? I'd force myself to go and I bet you'll be glad.

watcherintherye · 15/06/2023 20:46

I’m like this about every plan I ever make! It’s a standing joke between me and dh that just before going out, I’ll be muttering grumpily “I could really do without this.” Like pp, though, I rarely, if ever, regret going.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/06/2023 20:47

OP it's only 2 hours in the early afternoon. Not sure if you are working tomorrow, but even if so it's just a quick catch up not climbing a mountain!

Early night tonight to get some rest.

Nottilfive · 15/06/2023 20:49

I’d just be honest.

It does sound like the friendship probably won’t last anyway.

Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:49

I think the part that I am least looking forward to is the 40min drive there, 40min drive back in traffic. I don’t like driving much! And this is driving from a bit of a city to an outer city part, so a blah drive.

But I think you’re all correct - I will have a lovely time and it will be nice to see her! If she were down the road, I wouldn’t be as tempted to cancel!

OP posts:
Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:50

Nottilfive · 15/06/2023 20:49

I’d just be honest.

It does sound like the friendship probably won’t last anyway.

To be honest, I don’t think it will. We have hardly caught up since she moved away! It’s probably been a year and a half since I saw her last.

OP posts:
Yolo12345 · 15/06/2023 20:51

Just say you felt a bit off, did a covid test and was shocked that it's positive! Nothing she can say to counter that really...

Avondale89 · 15/06/2023 20:51

I despise flakiness, it's just so rude to cancel at the last minute for no good reason. It wastes other people's time and is disrespectful. I don't think there's ever a "really nice" way to cancel last minute. Either something genuinely dire has come up, which clearly isn't nice, or it's crystal clear that the other people just couldn't be arsed. Just go for the 2 hours and if it wasn't worth it don't make plans with her again.

Swipe left for the next trending thread