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AIBU?

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Original poster

A really nice way to cancel my plans tomorrow?

80 replies

Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:34

I have had a WEEK! And I’m supposed to be seeing a friend tomorrow afternoon (which is my afternoon off). We’ve changed the plans three times now so I will feel very guilty for cancelling.

I have absolutely no excuse except: I just can’t be bothered and I need to do nothing because I’m tapped out.

Give me a really nice way to cancel my plans!

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 15/06/2023 20:51

The only nice way is to be honest. It's fine to want to cancel, but it's really shitty to lie to your friends.

Alternatively go, because the chances are you'll enjoy it once you're there.

swedex · 15/06/2023 20:52

Just go! It's a few hours out of a day and you'll have either r a lovely time or not and then you'll know not to bother with the friendship anymore!

EarringsandLipstick · 15/06/2023 20:54

I think 40 minutes is nothing (& I don't like driving either).

If you really don't want go see her, I'd just be honest. I think making up fake excuses is shitty, tbh.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/06/2023 20:55

Cross-post @QueSyrahSyrah !

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 15/06/2023 20:57

Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 20:39

We aren’t super close, and live about 40 mins away from each other. I like her a lot, but it was a friendship that began through NCT and has dwindled as she moved further away, and our kids stopped being friends (because life goes on etc when a friend moves).

I very much like her, though; but we’re not close friends.

If you want to see her and keep the friendship going long term then meet her tomorrow. Otherwise I'd say cancel, don't rearrange and don't bother staying in touch because, being honest, you will probably feel like this every time it comes to meeting up....I speak from experience.

I keep a smaller circle these days and prioritise my time carefully to ensure I have time to meet up with the people I want to see most, and also have the time to do whatever I want. Much happier for it! I was spreading myself way to thin before and was always stressed with little free time....

Opaque11 · 15/06/2023 20:57

Hell no would I do almost 1.5 hours of driving for a 2 hour catch-up. Absolutely would not do this in this heat. Can't you work unexpectedly again?

Royalbloo · 15/06/2023 20:58

It's cooler in the car than outside!

Snugglemonkey · 15/06/2023 21:14

I would go. Time with friends recharges.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/06/2023 21:18

Opaque11 · 15/06/2023 20:57

Hell no would I do almost 1.5 hours of driving for a 2 hour catch-up. Absolutely would not do this in this heat. Can't you work unexpectedly again?

🙄

'In the heat' - what do you drive, a horse drawn carriage?

A car even with rudimentary AC / temp control will be fine & cool.

And 1 hour 10 minutes in total is a long drive?!?!

ScientificallyProcessed · 15/06/2023 21:40

She is probably thinking the same.

HalliwellManor · 15/06/2023 22:04

Car won't start 😒

Stompythedinosaur · 15/06/2023 22:22

I think you should suck it up and go.

You need to invest in friendships.

nnamechangee · 15/06/2023 22:25

Could you say car trouble and suggests a video chat instead.

pictoosh · 15/06/2023 22:38

Avondale89 · 15/06/2023 20:51

I despise flakiness, it's just so rude to cancel at the last minute for no good reason. It wastes other people's time and is disrespectful. I don't think there's ever a "really nice" way to cancel last minute. Either something genuinely dire has come up, which clearly isn't nice, or it's crystal clear that the other people just couldn't be arsed. Just go for the 2 hours and if it wasn't worth it don't make plans with her again.

I agree with this.

Qilin · 15/06/2023 22:39

Opaque11 · 15/06/2023 20:57

Hell no would I do almost 1.5 hours of driving for a 2 hour catch-up. Absolutely would not do this in this heat. Can't you work unexpectedly again?

I drive nearly that to get to the supermarket for even less time there!
40 minutes doesn't seem very far - other side of town for me!

And in this heat? I guess if your car hasn't got air on maybe. For me - the air on would be a reason to go, 40 minutes to cool down!

Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 22:43

Ok plot twist - she just cancelled on me!

I guess we were thinking the same!

OP posts:
Original poster
Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 22:53

She says she’s not feeling well. Sort of think it’s a lie, but then I was considering lying, so I definitely deserve it.

Oh well, that gets me out of it and I do feel relieved!

OP posts:
StrawberrySquash · 15/06/2023 23:44

Go! Don't be the flaky person. It's different when it's a real reason, but I don't think this is one.

MMMarmite · 15/06/2023 23:48

Seems like this friendship is over and you should both stop pretending that you want to meet up.

Maddy70 · 15/06/2023 23:51

Don't cancel. You've had a shitty week and this will pick you up

Mooda · 15/06/2023 23:55

She's probably on here!

Redglitter · 15/06/2023 23:57

Skimsmaybe · 15/06/2023 22:43

Ok plot twist - she just cancelled on me!

I guess we were thinking the same!

Or shes read this thread 😂

bumbledeedum · 16/06/2023 00:10

She's definitely read this thread

MysteryBelle · 16/06/2023 00:35

If you cancel tomorrow then you’ll be even ✅

Say you have a bug

MysteryBelle · 16/06/2023 00:36

Uh oh, now you owe her two cancelations.