A really nice way to cancel my plans tomorrow?

[Skimsmaybe]

I have had a WEEK! And I’m supposed to be seeing a friend tomorrow afternoon (which is my afternoon off). We’ve changed the plans three times now so I will feel very guilty for cancelling.

I have absolutely no excuse except: I just can’t be bothered and I need to do nothing because I’m tapped out.

Give me a really nice way to cancel my plans!

You'll hate the drive there. You'll hate thinking about the drive there. You will resent the time seeing her when you could be relaxing with a cool drink in the garden. You'll resent that you then have to drive another 40 mins back got pickup in the unrelenting heat. Then You'll resent your free time gone after school. You'll hate it. Be good to yourself. Don't go. Tell her you have terrible hay-fever. Do. It.

@ReliantRobyn her friend has cancelled

You don't sound like a very nice friend. I'd be really upset if someone 'couldn't be bothered to see me.

4 cancellations and haven't caught up in a year and a half? I'd say its over. Neither of you have the energy or can be bothered. Such is life really, we all go through it.

You sound like a really shit friend tbh! If it's already been cancelled 3 times, make the effort. You friend mightve made other plans if they weren't catching up with you

Yep you aren't friends given you both don't care enough to make any effort

Perhaps your friend read this thread and recognised herself.

I think you should go. Friendship is about giving as well as taking. Your friend may have been really looking forward to this.

People have got a lot flakier since Covid and it's not a good trend at all.

Instead of cancelling why not say you have something important to do and you can't stay long. Then if you aren't feeling it when you're there you can go (to the potentially made up inportant thing) and you haven't let anyone down but if you end up enjoying yourself you can stay and keep pushing that important thing you need to leave for?!

🤣🤣😂

There is no nice way, and you clearly aren't invested in the friendship continuing. I'd say a forth cancellation just due to CBF will probably end it altogether. If that's what you want, then do it and accept the friendship is over permanently

Shite! Missed the update. I do t think either of you are that bothered about it continuing. Maybe they won't try to rearrange either.

With friends who live a while away and I don’t see often and who have kids (I don’t) then yes I have to put in the effort!

There’s a lovely friend of mine who lives right the other side of London to me (bordering on Herts/Essex border) and last year I did a work charity event near her but didn’t think it through (white water rafting for those interested!) and I could’ve caught up with her but I’d have been knackered and probably would’ve had to stay the night, plus I didn’t drive so I’d have had to trekked across London by train next day. I do mean to see her though and we do keep in touch.

This friendship honestly it looks like it’s died a death and I’d leave it.

Or perhaps what with the heat and dealing with children the friend genuinely doesn’t feel well?

Problem solved then! I wonder what excuse she gave: she probably CBA either.
I would have gone though - for most social occasions I have to force myself to go as I’m always too tired but then enjoy it when I’m there. But I think it’s rude to say “oh let’s meet up” etc and then not bother when the time comes, I’d rather some honesty in the first place.

Up to you as to how much effort you make with the fridndship. You could use the hot weather as an excuse and postpone the meet up and just be honest snd say you enjoy meeting up but can it be postponed. I dont think I would invent a sudden illness. That's just so false.

Missed the update too.

She def saw this

I also think she's read this thread...

There's no better feeling when someone cancel on you, when you didn't want to go and see anyway

So she gets to cancel twice, doesn't drive and you think would struggle to get to your place and you don't get to reschedule even once?

Feck that.

Tell her you're absolutely knackered and need to postpone the meet-up. If the friendship is strong enough to withstand her rescheduling twice, it will make it through a 3rd time.

Sorry - just seeing that she cancelled twice and so far you've cancelled the once. Cancel again and even up the score.

I think this friendship is over OP. But you don’t sound too fussed.

This is the first thread in aaaages that I haven't read the OP's posts before replying.

I now see that she has cancelled on you again.

I think the friendship has run its course there @Skimsmaybe .

NCT friends are there to get you through maternity leave. Sometimes you make a lifelong connection but most of the time the friendship dwindles as the only thing you have to tether you together is “children the same age” – and as the children get older it’s easier to make those mum friends via nursery, preschool, etc, so the NCT friends drift. Given she’s now cancelled and you wanted to, I’d not bother rearranging and just let the friendship drift.