To be shocked at how much time off sick some people have?

[Enfys1982]

I work in a school and since I started in the sector it’s been a bit of eye opener to me how much sick time some people seem to take, and it always seems to be the same people. Days here and there, sometimes weeks on end then they come back for a bit go off again. As I said always the same people.

The last time I was off was last year when I had Covid, and I was only off because then you still legally had to isolate if positive. I actually felt well enough to go in. Before that I genuinely can’t remember when I was off sick. If I feel bad I just dose myself up and get on with it.

AIBU to think it displays a lack of resilience?

I worked 30years for the NHS.
I’ve seen both extremes. Those that struggle in when they shouldn’t because they really are poorly.
And those that think working 3 weeks in 4 is perfectly acceptable regardless of health.

One winter two colleagues lived on adjacent roads 2 miles from the hospital.
Lazy excuse person couldn’t get in because of the snow, hard working person waited for the bus and only arrived slightly late.

Some people are like this. I don't blame those who have real health issues. My FIL takes days off sick for every little thing. It was so persistent that HR actually started investigating it. I sometimes wonder when they're going to take disciplinary action. He's off sick now, because his thumb is aching 🤐

I work in education, currently on my second month off sick with psychosis. Should I just dose myself and come in? after all I feel fine on the whole and I probably only pose a small risk to their safety.

The students behaviour is a big cause of my psychosis. If they don't want staff off sick with mental health issues they should provide a safe workplace.

Being a Martyr and working through a bad cold doesn’t benefit you in any way. Why do it?

I really don’t want colleagues coming into work feeling rubbish with a heavy cold and spreading it about to everyone else. Unless they’re doing it because they don’t get sick pay and they can’t manage without the money (which is a whole other issue), people who come into work when they are unwell, just to make some sort of point, really irritate me. I’ve seen people on here boasting that they’ve gone into work with vomiting and diarrhoea and just dosed up on Imodium.

Keep your germs away from me! 🤢

I think some people simply take advantage, don’t really set out to do it on purpose but feel they need the time off because they can’t cope and probably feel a little guilty when they do it but aren’t actively trying to deceive.

On the other hand, there are some people who are “putting on” making themselves the center of everyone’s universe by making everything about their supposed problems, whether it be health issues or something else they’re “struggling” with etc which is a manipulative tactic to control others, get sympathy, and somehow elevate themselves in status (they’re more important than other people and should be the focus).

Then there are the people who are genuinely struggling and need our support. Strangely it is those last people who usually get the contempt and the manipulators get the pass.

That’s what I’ve noticed anyway through the years. You’d have to give us more information to judge which of the three categories your example(s) might fit into.

If a job is making you that ill surely it's time to leave . No job is worth your health .

Your original post states "sometimes weeks on end" You then tried to recover this in your next post by playing it down as those who
"People who have several bouts of ‘flu’ a year when it’s probably just a heavy cold (if that). We all know the kind of people I’m talking about."

However, people will need a doctor's note to have " weeks on end" off so yes a underlying health condition is worth considering.

I am generally a healthy person. I have not needed time off sick for many years. In the last 18 months however, I have had covid and was off for 2 weeks as I was really sick with it (And work with vulnerable people) I took a nasty fall down some stairs and was unable to walk and drive for 3 working days (I work part-time in this job) so I could not attend. I had a really nasty head cold bug the sort that gives you a high temperature and makes you feel like you can't think. The last was in April and I am still suffering from coughing with it.

I am merely lucky the way our work looks at absence is within 12 months so I have not gone over the " allowed before a talk" point. I am also grateful my boss has been more worried about my health than if I was there. She knows I will show. My close colleague has had a lot of single/half-days off as he suffers from migraines. Boss is also understanding of this and is currently supporting him to get a private assessment to see if his migraines can be medicated in some way.

Right now his sickness record looks bad but yes there is an underlying health condition for him. He doesn't look like he has one though.

For me you come across as if you realised you had gone too harsh on the first post so you withdrew a bit to get people " on side" I still think YABU

I got sacked by someone like you for being off too much in one year. I was off twice - once week with shingles and a few days with a severe chest infection exacerbated by my chronic asthma. I was made to occupational health and then sacked. I imagine he thought I wasn’t resilient too.

The ones I mentioned in the second category always have someone to blame and will often attempt to get that person or persons “punished” by someone in power if they don’t have the power themselves.

You are so right Op. And the larger the organization the more common it is. It must be incredibly frustrating for the genuinely sick to see so many people take the piss like this.

We used to publish the sick days taken by each team to the team. No criticism of any individuals. It was surprising how much things improved!

How would you know though? You don't know what's the reason for these people being off as it's none of your business.

That is awful @fyn. You were terribly mistreated. So unfair!

You are right OP. Per year averages: 7.9 days in public sector, 5.1 days in private sector. I am self employed and have taken 1 day off (I was in hospital with pneumonia) in 25 years. A friend of mine has been off sick for over 5 months - she is an admin in a school. She says she is tired and has CFS. But she travels widely, drinks heavily every weekend etc. I think it is shocking.

I agree some people are a sally sick note but then I also think that ‘resilient’ people like you spread illness to weaker more vulnerable people.
my daughter has an illness that makes her weaker, and it’s because some parents send their children in regardless, that she catches these illnesses and can’t attend (is bedridden due to her condition) and then who gets the grief for it…me as a her mother. With threats of fines despite then knowing she has a life limiting illness.
a bit of kindness and understanding because you could just be ignorant of peoples situations

Erm, perhaps they’re just I’ll!

Lots of people have various conditions which mean that periodically they are unwell. If you are lucky enough to not be one of them then count your blessings.

Plus most workplaces these days have pretty stringent policies for dealing with situations where people are off for a few days every week. Have you checked yours? The people you appear to have a problem with are probably being monitored very closely- but they shouldn’t have to justify themselves to you.

I used to record absence records as part of my job, and it was amazing how many people had medical appointments on a Friday afternoon. I only compiled the records but it was easy to see obvious patterns over time.

I’m sure you’ve made a number of people feel pretty crap with this post, OP and many of them will have been hanging on by a thread in the first place
Well done

As everyone has pointed out. You get all extremes. In education it's incredibly common for teachers to struggle in because the thought of setting the cover and then picking up all those classes when the work hasn't been done is so daunting. The problem with that and the intense workload is that you get burn out so you will get lots of staff with long term stress related issues.

I imagine it's the same in the NHS, people struggling in because they don't want to leave their colleagues understaffed and overstretched and again it leads to burn out.

I don't really have much experience of other jobs I can tell you that everyone I know works at home, at all hours and the pressure is so much more relentless with email and everything being online. I think we have quite unhealthy work habits in the UK.

Do you know the colleagues I find more annoying? The ones who come in sneezing everywhere.

I hope you aren’t a senior leader or something OP as you sound narrow-minded. I have line-managed many who needed several odd days off for reasons including mental health and their children’s poor health.

Good example of someone who is actively deceiving others to do whatever she wants and expects everyone to rally around her and not state the obvious. If they do, they will be shunned or punished as she has enough clout to make it happen. Meanwhile she gets away with her manipulations and benefits from them.

People coming in with heavy colds are a fucking liability and cause illnesses that run rife in school - and get taken home to kill the vulnerable.

I'm glad more people are staying home when they are ill. Funny how if you call it COVID everyone cares about the vulnerable - but they never do with any other contagious illness.

Oh come on-we all know there are certain people you work with who abuse the system. Can’t get their holiday? Go off sick. Don’t feel like coming in? Go off sick. Have a difficult day at work? Go off sick. If you’ve never worked with people like that, you’re lucky. There are people who have conditions where I work who make the effort and no one begrudges their time off-but the ones who game the system, taking advantage of our generous sick leave system who really piss me off-because we have to cover for them. And then when they’ve used up all their sick leave? Funny how they’re never off when they’re going to lose money.

I'm sure there are skivers out there, but I do think there is also a lot of genuinely ill people who are hanging on by a thread.
I have a friend who is a very resilient person, but with very bad luck. they have depression, and at the end of the last year had the double whammy of having their usual medication discontinued in the UK and catching covid in the same month. I watched them become an absolute shell of themselves as they dealt with serious depression and a very serious bout of covid. This person is 31, and usually healthy, I've never seen anyone so low and ill, it was very scary. Fortunately they finally got some help and have found a new medication that works. However they had to take a month off work during the worst period - which their work very graciously granted them as they completely understood the circumstances.
They are on the mend, but are still struggling health wise and regularly having to take a day off here and there. They feel so incredibly guilty about the pressure this is putting on their colleauges, they are seriously considering giving up their good job as they don't think it's right to carry on and lean so much on their colleague. It's an incredibly complicated problem, I see where they're coming from, it isn't fair on the people they work with, but it also seems very tough on my friend - to give up a regular good income because of their brain chemistry and covid. I wish there was an answer that could help everyone.
All I can say is I'd be careful to judge anyone, as you never really know whats going on - they may be skiving or they may be going through the worst time of the lives, and I really don't think it comes down to resilience especially in the current post-covid, cost of living and health crisis climate.

It’s certainly not unique to education. A lot of people are smart with sick pay/paid sick leave and they end up treating it as effectively additional annual leave. We know there’s people in our business that do it, they know how mock they get, how much they’ve had in the rolling 12 months etc and game the system accordingly. It’s very difficult to do anything about as far as I know.