Page 22 | Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

Eggsandpickles · 2023-06-15T07:12:26+00:00

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85. Thoughts ?

threatmatrix · 17/06/2023 14:09

Tell her you will fill the car up on the way there and she has to pay to fill it up once you get home then an additional £25 for wear and tear.

Fluffy40 · 17/06/2023 14:13

You can’t casually pick someone up. There will be parking charges and they are not cheap.

Lacucuracha · 17/06/2023 14:13

lemonchiffonpie · 17/06/2023 13:04

Well, quite.

I was not suggesting OP do it, I was answering assertions that if she did it she would not be saving the amount suggested for her friend, versus the friend coughing up on a cab fare. If the friend pays for OP's parking and fuel, she is saving herself maybe half the cab fare - in exchange for OP's night without sleep.

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ah, sorry, @lemonchiffonpie . Totally agree.

NatashaDancing · 17/06/2023 14:15

Mirabai · 17/06/2023 12:55

What a bizarre post.

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It's complete tosh.

Tremaria · 17/06/2023 14:19

BarbaraofSeville · 17/06/2023 13:46

My money is on AI.

Almost no-one on this thread is saying they'd never do a favour for anyone. What people are quite reasonably saying is that it's a hell of an ask to do the trip in the middle of the night.

If there was a level of mutual give and take in the friendship generally and the trip required the to set off at 10 am on a day when she wasn't doing anything much, I'm sure the OP would be happy to pick her friend up from the airport, if costs were covered, as would most people.

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AI?

”What a bizarre post” is what I’ve thought about a lot of these comments. Maybe you have a point with the whole AI thing.

How telling that someone shows a bit of insight to the bigger picture and you call that bizarre.

thank you for that.

NatashaDancing · 17/06/2023 14:25

BarbaraofSeville · 17/06/2023 08:02

To be fair, I don't think the OP has said anything about her friend having a car and being able to drive.

But those saying it's not friendly to refuse to do this, it's also not friendly to put someone in an awkward position by asking them to lose a night's sleep.

She should have booked a flight at a better time, booked a hotel at the airport or prepared herself to sit and wait until public transport is running, which could be as early as 4 am if its a major airport.

Departing airport every 10 minutes during the day (04:30 - 01:00) and every 20 minutes during the night (01:00 - 04:30) Monday to Sunday

Bus timetable for Edinburgh airport. 24 hour service. I would say Edinburgh is a larger regional airport. I'm not going to check every airport but Exeter, which is a smaller airport has its first bus running from 5.00.

NatashaDancing · 17/06/2023 15:04

Tremaria · 17/06/2023 14:19

AI?

”What a bizarre post” is what I’ve thought about a lot of these comments. Maybe you have a point with the whole AI thing.

How telling that someone shows a bit of insight to the bigger picture and you call that bizarre.

thank you for that.

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But you haven't shown a bit of insight. You have extrapolated and projected a whole new scenario on to this mundane, every day, non emergency situation which could easily be dealt with by the returning holiday maker without the need to ask the OP to make a three hour journey in the middle of the night.

deste · 17/06/2023 15:26

Say you would love to but you have a night out and will be drinking. Problem solved.

Lifescary · 17/06/2023 15:42

As a recent convert to Mumsnet I am surprised by the number of people who think the solution is to lie - "and they can ruin your faith with their casual lies."

IcedPurple · 17/06/2023 15:57

Are you very close? Has she ever done anything similar for you in the past? Would she do the same for you if the need were to arise?

Alconleigh · 17/06/2023 16:56

As others have said, getting to and from the airport is part of the cost of a holiday. When we didn't have a car, we booked the flights that were more expensive but could be reached using public transport. You can't go for the cheapo middle of the night flights and outsource getting to / from them to other people. And it sounds like the friend can afford the cab, she just doesn't want to. Well, them's the breaks.

Snugglemonkey · 17/06/2023 21:27

Twiglets1 · 15/06/2023 08:16

Or maybe not be so thoughtless as to book a flight arriving at 2am?

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I don't know ow where you live, but the regional airports here there us not a great deal of choice about flight times. There is often one flight a week!

JudgeRinderonTinder · 17/06/2023 21:28

Lacucuracha · 17/06/2023 11:09

You and your cohort keep avoiding the issue. Do you think it’s reasonable to lose a nights sleep to save someone £20-30?

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If they were a friend I thought a lot of I’d do it as a one off, yes. Then again maybe I’m too nice. I take my friendships seriously and I’ve realised that I’d do a lot more for my friends than most MN’s would be willing to do. Then again, if I couldn’t do it, I would open the mouth I was born with and say ‘’I’m really sorry, I’m working tomorrow and need to get a proper sleep.’’ I wouldn’t go slagging her off on an internet forum.

peedoffnow · 17/06/2023 22:35

Seriously?
I don’t see what the issue is here.
she’s a friend, she’s asking you to do her a favour so what’s the problem?
You can always say no if you don’t want to do it but it doesn’t mean the pal is taking the piss.

Im in Scotland, and my friend lives 45 mins away from me, but she was on holiday and flying into Manchester on her return and asked could I drive down to pick up her and her partner who were landing at 3am…of course I said YES, she’s a pal and I’m quite confident she would return the favour if ever needed.

I had a 4 hour drive from my house to go pick them up, then an almost 5 hour drive to bring them back to her house then another 45 min drive back to my house…yea it might sound a lot, but that’s what real pals do for each other, help them out in their times of need and not thinking or wondering how they can be repaid for their kind gestures 🤷‍♀️

LondonPete · 17/06/2023 23:10

Does your friend drive? She should look at airport parking. There are always discount codes to bring the cost down. We always park at the airport and it is only half an hour, £25 in a taxi. It is so much more convenient than pissing about with taxis.
Just say no, sorry, you are not able to collect her

NatashaDancing · 17/06/2023 23:22

peedoffnow · 17/06/2023 22:35

Seriously?
I don’t see what the issue is here.
she’s a friend, she’s asking you to do her a favour so what’s the problem?
You can always say no if you don’t want to do it but it doesn’t mean the pal is taking the piss.

Im in Scotland, and my friend lives 45 mins away from me, but she was on holiday and flying into Manchester on her return and asked could I drive down to pick up her and her partner who were landing at 3am…of course I said YES, she’s a pal and I’m quite confident she would return the favour if ever needed.

I had a 4 hour drive from my house to go pick them up, then an almost 5 hour drive to bring them back to her house then another 45 min drive back to my house…yea it might sound a lot, but that’s what real pals do for each other, help them out in their times of need and not thinking or wondering how they can be repaid for their kind gestures 🤷‍♀️

Of course there are no transport links between Manchester and Scotland but presumably there are the other way since your friend got to Manchester airport. Getting back after a holiday isn't really a "time of need" -it's a"can't be bothered to wait/ too tight to pay for the train running from the airport to Scotland"

Up to you of course but as you must have left Scotland around 11p.m and then drove 5 hours back unless you actually are long distance driver used to doing long overnight drives I'd prefer to wait for the train/ next flight.

cestlavielife · 18/06/2023 08:40

The first train leaves at 05:50 from Manchester to Glasgow. By the time the 3 am flight arrived and got luggage not ling to wait. Pick them up in glasgow in daytime.

Makes a lot more sense to go get the train rather than ask someone to drive overnight unless they work nights anyway. Dangerous. Ask a friend to drive 4 hours to 3 am?? ? Not typical in uk.

TrashyPanda · 18/06/2023 09:31

I don't know a single person who would ever think it was okay to ask for a lift from Manchester to Glasgow.

it’s over 200 miles!

EbonyRaven · 18/06/2023 09:56

determinedtomakethiswork · 17/06/2023 09:19

This has really made me laugh. So you didn't want to get into a taxi with one guy, but you got on a plane with hundreds of people?

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I also asked @seafish but she hasn't replied, how on earth did you go abroad during covid?

EbonyRaven · 18/06/2023 10:17

Tremaria · 17/06/2023 12:45

How can you live and thrive in the circle of life without ever sharing and truly connecting with anyone? How can you not ask or do anything for anybody else?

So your friend or person you’re dating (I’ve had to google BU) has asked you to pick up her and her 15 year old daughter at 2am, from the airport? To me she’s asked somebody she loves and probably feels safe with.

I have a friend who comes and picks me up for stuff and I never would have asked before and had to work through a bit of resistance when it started. And because she does, we are starting to get closer and dissolve some of our “other woman” and “mother wounds” and now I feel like I have a woman in my life I can actually go on holiday with and feel close to. There is only love between us. It’s usually me who keeps offering my love and friendship to people and for once I am glad that she was the one offering to me and I moved past the discomfort and said yes.

do you want connection and to thrive in the circle and be an “interdependent” accepting member of a loving community in your life? Or do you want to stay isolated and “independent” defensive and judgy? This is an opportunity and I’d recommend you look in the mirror and reevaluate your life. Are you happy? Do you feel deeply loved and supported by life? Do you actively choose love and interconnectedness? We are all one.

God bless.

@Tremaria

I have a friend who comes and picks me up for stuff and I never would have asked before and had to work through a bit of resistance when it started.

LMFAO. 😆So, you badgered and mithered this friend relentlessly til they gave in and started giving you lifts/doing what you wanted/serving you at your beck and call?

I think I will stay isolated and defensive and judgy thanks rather than mugged off and treated like a chauffeur, a butler, and a handmaid in one.

God Bless.

Tessabelle74 · 18/06/2023 11:55

EbonyRaven · 18/06/2023 10:17

@Tremaria

I have a friend who comes and picks me up for stuff and I never would have asked before and had to work through a bit of resistance when it started.

LMFAO. 😆So, you badgered and mithered this friend relentlessly til they gave in and started giving you lifts/doing what you wanted/serving you at your beck and call?

I think I will stay isolated and defensive and judgy thanks rather than mugged off and treated like a chauffeur, a butler, and a handmaid in one.

God Bless.

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Actually, if you read the post properly, her friend offered, the resistance was her own!

CrazyArmadilloLady · 18/06/2023 19:35

Sorry to say @Tremaria - but there are plenty of ways to become ‘members of a community’ and get close to friends, that don’t involve asking them to haul ass out of bed in the small hours of the morning for hours on end. Believe me.

It is the height of CFness to ask someone to do that.

SofaLola33 · 19/06/2023 06:47

CrazyArmadilloLady · 18/06/2023 19:35

Sorry to say @Tremaria - but there are plenty of ways to become ‘members of a community’ and get close to friends, that don’t involve asking them to haul ass out of bed in the small hours of the morning for hours on end. Believe me.

It is the height of CFness to ask someone to do that.

Asking a friend is not being a CF… Expecting a friend to do that would make the friend a CF! If OP is incapable of saying no, that’s their issue

CrazyArmadilloLady · 19/06/2023 08:13

SofaLola33 · 19/06/2023 06:47

Asking a friend is not being a CF… Expecting a friend to do that would make the friend a CF! If OP is incapable of saying no, that’s their issue

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Asking a friend to do something like a three hour round trip in the early hours of the morning - just because you don’t want to put your hand in your pocket! - is the epitome of being a CF!?

Stewball01 · 19/06/2023 10:49

My children would come and fetch me at that time. Whether I'd ask is another thing.