to be proud yet really annoyed with DS becoming a vegetarian

[Lois345]

My DS (age nearly 5) decided some months ago that he doesn't want to eat animals and he wants to be a vegetarian. I thought it would last three days, but four months later he is sticking to his guns (no one else in the family is a vegetarian although we do not eat a lot of meat). I am proud of him for making up his own mind, however, here is the problem: ds doesn't like vegetables. He eat peas and that is about it. I can camouflage vegetable in tomato sauce for pasta and I found a mac and cheese recipe which includes quite a bit of veg. I try new things (sweet and sour fake chicken yesterday), but generally with no luck at all.
Basically, I have about 3 recipes that he will eat and it is driving me bonkers to cook the same thing over and over again. It is also really difficult to take him out among friends as he basically will not eat what is being served.

Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences (does it get better?) are really welcome and very much appreciated. Also, any good recipes that you can recommend?

Keep offering him things.
Does he eat eggs? Eggs are so good for vegetarians and easy and cheap too. Can he help you cook? Often with that age group they are more likely to eat it if they contribute to making it.

My eldest went veggie at a similar age, and like you we thought it would be a stage, but 5 years later, and she is definitely a dedicated vegetarian! She cannot stomach the thought of meat now, but understands the rest of her family eat it, and is fine about it. We found it tricky to begin with, but she's pretty good at trying new things now, and understands part of the deal with her being veggie, and me continuing to prepare her vegetarian meals, means she HAS to eat a well balanced diet. She's really good with fruit and veg, and we incorporate alot of beans and pulses into meals. 5 bean chilli, or standard chilli, but using vivara mince is a winner, as we all eat that, and it's really nice. We also use that mince to make spagbol, cottage pie etc. It's soooo much nicer than Quorn mince. If we're having a roast, she'll have a Quorn chicken fillet with hers, and she has to choose 4-5 veggies to go with it. Vegetable lasagne, again, we all love this so saves seperate cooking. Jacket potatoes with beans (or left over veg chilli). The meat alternatives are quite good these days, so we use these for alot of meals. The Richmond veggie sausages are great, with mash, and veg with plenty of gravy. Have you tried pureeing carrots, sweet potatoes and adding these to sauces? They're naturally really sweet, so can help make a lovely tomato sauce for pasta, and they literally don't know they're in there. Also, make sure he's getting a good quality daily vitamin, if you're worried about his vegetable intake, and some "nooch" (nutritional yeast) flakes, can just stir into dishes at the end of cooking, as really great to make sure everyone is getting their b12, just make sure to add it at the end, as overheating it can ruin the vitamin content.

Is it worth getting one of those posters of the different food groups and getting him to help choose what he’s going to eat from each one?

Christ

”I will be persuading her not to do it” - she’s an adult who can make her own choices!

The most a DGM can say is “ok but I’m not going to babysit for you across any mealtimes” - or at all if you don’t want to babysit at all

Tbh, I wouldn't allow any child so young to decide to cut such an important food group out of their diet. There are a lot of nutrients which he will not get, particularly since, as you said, he is a fussy eater anyway. Are you sure he's not becoming a vegetarian as a food refusal thing?
Fruit is in no way a substitute for not eating vegetables and/or meat. The vast majority of fruit is water and fibre - they are not nutritionally dense and some are quite high in sugar.

Obviously, vegetables are good for kids - and all of us - and we should all be eating lots of them. But if you have a vegetable refuser, with a bit of thought and research you can use fruit as a substitute for lots of the key nutrients e.g. apricots and mango for Vit A, Bananas, oranges for potassium etc... You'll then also need to make sure they get plenty of fibre too - oats (porridge, oat crackers, homemade flapjacks - sweet or savoury), high fibre cereals, beans, lentils, chickpeas etc.

To be honest, I think veggie kids can actually end up eating a more nutritionally well balanced diet than they were before because their parents are sort of forced to think about it more - like for example, before my kids were veggie I'd just give them toast and jam, where now, I'd think about it and give them peanut butter and banana on toast instead.

In the op’s case, I think the supplements would be more to do with her ds not eating vegetables, rather than a lack of meat.

What food group is he cutting out?

All vegetables bar peas?

If he understands that much then he is old enough to understand that if he cuts out one class of foods he needs to be sure he is eating a large variety in other groups - especially legumes, nuts and vegetables (if he eats dairy that will help but that could be next).

Keep presenting a variety of the veg he currently doesn't eat, he doesn't have to eat all of it but the deal has to be that vegetarians eat a wide variety of other foods or he can't be vegetarian. He can eat veg to save the animals if that helps him conceptualise.

I'm a lifelong veggie as are all my adult children and I would set this as the terms of being veggie. I would also suggest that you eat the same food as him whenever you can - have a veggie family meal which everyone eats including the child. Children this age are more likely to try and accept foods if they see the adults around them eating and enjoying them.

M'y now mid 30s DS decided to go veggie at 6 (same reasons as your DS). I persuaded him to continue to eat fish to make life easier when he went to friend's home for tea. By 10 he was checking sweet packs to ensure they were gelatine free and, was completely, veggie!
At 6, I explained he would have to stop being so fussy to ensure he grew up healthy.
He made the effort and in return I made his favourite meals twice a week.
His own DC has never eaten meat but has, like most children, gone through extremely fussy stages.
It will be fine but it does take patience.

This is not true for lots of us. I have been a vegetarian for 20+ years and have always hated meat substitute stuff. I have never liked the taste of meat so why do I want to eat something that tastes like a weird version of it.

Op, it terms of what your son eats, have you tried beans and pulses? All good sources of protein and can be eaten separately or blended into say a pasta sauce. My son is fussy with sauched etc but will happily eat any 'naked' beans and lentils put in front of him.

My (now) 8yo went veggie 2 years ago to the point of all meal refusal even things that I knew were his previous favourites (lasagne, sausages, salmon) now he checks sweets for gelatine so I'd say it's not a phase even though the rest of us eat meat.

For me it's not about the vegetables he will/won't eat (anything in sauce, broccoli, raw veg mainly) but the main worry was protein. We came to a deal that he has to try different foods. From him turning vegetarian has made me look at all our food differently and the balance.

I'm not saying we're great because we're not but I try to vegetarianise food we have and keep variety.

We have chicken curry - he has chickpea curry
We have homemade burgers - he has homemade black bean and mushroom burgers
We have egg fried fried
We have meatballs - I make him veggie balls
We have chilli - he has bean chilli
We have spag Bol /lasagne - I make the ragu with lentils

I try and make snacks more protein heavy, boiled eggs, hummus, date and hazelnut balls, peanut butter toast, peanut butter balls - that kind of thing!

That kind of thing.

And when I'm stuck he gets egg, chips and beans.....

Thanks again everyone for some really helpful suggestions (and some less helpful ones too). I have more than enough suggestions for food now and will close this thread.

Well you can hide it oP

but You can’t just decide to “close it down” 😂

Shocked that the multi vitamin appears to be new to you

that would have been the very first thing I’d have done if my child had such a restrictive and narrow diet