to be proud yet really annoyed with DS becoming a vegetarian

[Lois345]

My DS (age nearly 5) decided some months ago that he doesn't want to eat animals and he wants to be a vegetarian. I thought it would last three days, but four months later he is sticking to his guns (no one else in the family is a vegetarian although we do not eat a lot of meat). I am proud of him for making up his own mind, however, here is the problem: ds doesn't like vegetables. He eat peas and that is about it. I can camouflage vegetable in tomato sauce for pasta and I found a mac and cheese recipe which includes quite a bit of veg. I try new things (sweet and sour fake chicken yesterday), but generally with no luck at all.
Basically, I have about 3 recipes that he will eat and it is driving me bonkers to cook the same thing over and over again. It is also really difficult to take him out among friends as he basically will not eat what is being served.

Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences (does it get better?) are really welcome and very much appreciated. Also, any good recipes that you can recommend?

I think you'll have to be very on top of what he's eating and think of creative ways to get a variety of vegetables, protein-based foods, and healthy fats into his diet.

His protein needs will increase as he gets older, so you'll need to make sure he's eating the right amount of protein and in the right combination with other foods to get all the essential amino acids his body can't produce. If a vegetarian child is not eating a lot of dairy and nutrient/mineral-rich foods like nuts and dark leafy greens, I would watch bone density as he gets older and into puberty.

There's been some research showing that a vegetarian diet can lead to low sperm count. I'm not sure of the size/rigor of those studies, so it may be something you want to research yourself.

I would 100% stay away from "plant-based" meat alternatives, they're garbage and full of oils and ultra-high processed soy.

I personally would not be letting my child dictate lifestyle choices at that age unless I was vegetarian/whatever diet and really on top of their nutritional needs.

Sorry but if he doesn’t like veg why did you allow it ? Being vegetarian means you must eat well and variety . There is no way I would accept that from a 5 year old child when clearly he doesn’t understand the repercussions. Make sure he has supplements if he is not eating properly .

Actually many if not most veggies don't want the unhealthy "meat like" substances. We're quite happy with the vegetable based meals we've been eating for decades before UPF was a twinkle in the manufacturers' eyes.

It's the new trendy vegan brigade that wants that rubbish. Interesting how the market for the fake meat is collapsing now the fad is passing. Heck and Oatly have cut their ranges and others have gone out of business entirely.

I suspect you like telling people that your young son made a conscious commitment to vegetarianism and has stuck to it

but the reality is… he’s being deprived of a diet necessary to his growth because he doesn’t enjoy the diet he can have
and it’s a big old pain in the ass for you

parent up.

he can make the change when he either accepts any and all veggie alternatives or starts cooking for himself

Whether children are vegetarian or not, they need to eat plenty if fruit and vegetables, so that's not an issue.
It's the protein that needs replacing if he's not having meat.

Perhaps get a bank of vegetarian recipes together, adding one or two new ones every week. Pick things that everyone likes, so you don't have to cook separately for the rest of the family. There are some very tasty foods made by Cauldron and the Vegetarian Butcher for occasional meals, but some other vegetarian ready made meals and meat replacement products are really unhealthy for everyday eating.

If he wants to be totally vegetarian, you will need to check ingredients of prepared foods and sweets to avoid things like gelatine and cochineal (e120)

As he finds out more about the ethical issues with the dairy industry and poultry farming (destruction of male chicks) he might want to cut those too, but that makes it much harder to provide healthy nutrition for a young, growing child.

Some people who are concerned about the ethics of eating mammals and birds are ok with fish, since the raising and killing processes don't cause the same fear and pain to fish (as far as we know) That gives you a lot more choices for getting in proper nutrition.

Depends on motivation behind the decision

if ethical then no reason to judge them for enjoying meat substitutes

Our spag bol sauce has very little meat and tons of veg, blitzed so our fussy teen will eat it. We include tinned tomatoes, courgettes, celery, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, onions.
Then we insist on him eating one green veg of his choice - he’ll eat broccoli. Plus carrots and baby corns which he’ll eat. All in all, I’m happy with that.

Well of course, who am I to judge?
However...
If someone said they were veggie ENTIRELY because they did not want to eat animals, yeah go on.
But if it was to be 'healthy', then I'm not averse to pointing out how meat substitutes are actually the opposite. Might as well eat frozen chicken nuggets, no difference.

Contrary to popular opinion meat is not 'unhealthy'. Too much of it is, read meat, etc. But you don't need to cut out meat entirely for health.

I decided to become vegetarian aged 7 - the rest of the family are all big meat eaters - and as an adult I am so grateful that they were respectful and considerate of my choice. I'm still veggie 30 odd years later. So, firstly just I think it's fantastic that you're supporting your son like this.

I gave my own kids meat as little ones, but the eldest two have since decided to go veggie (they were around 7/8 at the time).

In terms of nutrition, my advice would be to worry less about meals and more about their daily protein/ vitamin intake - so adding nutrients into breakfast, snacks, puddings etc.

So, when they get in friom school I'll give them a snack of something like hummus with carrot/ cucumber/ peppers to dip, apple slices dipped in peanut butter, banana and peanut butter on toast, oat crackers with hummus or peanut butter or dried fruit and raisins (dried apricots are great for Iron which you also have to watch).

For puddings, I'll give them Greek yogurt with fruit and crushed up nuts, or a home-made banana split with berries and crushed nuts on top.

For breakfast, porridge with fruit and nuts on top is good, or Weetabix - again with fruit and nuts.

It's pricey bit Flaxseed is great - you can add it into porridge or pasta sauces for a bit of extra protein.

Their fave meals are -

Veggie Chilli (I do it with loads of different types of bean rather than a meat subsitute) - they especially like it with tacos
Veggie Spag Bol (I use lentils instead of Quorn)
Veggie burgers with potato wedges and peas
Veggie Pasta Pesto - I cook peas and brocoli in with the pasta and then add cherry tomatos when I serve it.
Bagels with scrambled eggs and cherry tomatos
Tomato Pasta
Pasta Norma (this is like a tomato pasta but with aubergine) Pasta alla norma recipe | BBC Good Food
Roast veg and halloumi with pitta bread
Chickpea Curry

If someone said they were veggie ENTIRELY because they did not want to eat animals, yeah go on.

the majority I reckon

It's still most of the veggie (usually vegan) stuff on restaurant menus though.
For all I have said I am not against veggies, I cook mostly vegetarian dishes myself and am on religious days.
It's just that there's so much propaganda, and so many people around me are averse to eating actual vegetables.

People don't know anything beyond carrot, broccoli cauliflower and salad. You can do amazing things with squash, red/green sorrel, aubergine.. but nope. Too much effort.

Which goes some way to explaining the meat substitute market

Yes. To say for health reason and then load up on meat substitutes… odd and a bit thick

but I don’t think they will be the majority by any stretch of the imagination

To be honest, whether or not he's vegetarian isn't really the issue. The issue is that he will only eat peas as a vegetable. That's not ideal whether he eats meat or not and something you would be looking to work on anyway, I'm sure.

Hidden veg is one approach, but it doesn't address the actual issue. I'd go for including one additional vegetable that he wouldn't normally eat in each meal. Put one piece on his plate, he doesn't have to eat it but he does have to leave it on the plate. You need to do this every time, consistently, whilst you all eat the same veg and get on with your meal. Eventually he will try the additional veg, but don't comment or discuss it at all. Alongside, get him a child's safety knife and get him chopping and prepping the veggies with you as much as you can. Involve him in other aspects of cooking too. Familiarity, repetition and low stress will encourage him to try new foods and branch out.

No, the keyword here is entirely.
People do not say 'well, I don't want to eat animals, but I don't care about my own health, so as long as no animals are harmed I will eat whatever'.
They also cite health as a major reason.

Slightly off piste... But spinach is NOT undetectable!!! Spinach is nasty bitter stuff that ruins any meal it is in.

Exactly.
And it depends which products. Plant based sausage rolls and pies are almost as unhealthy as meat based ones. The exception to this is bacon, ham and salami, of which the animal based ones contain known carcinogens that are not added to the vegetarian ones. (They wouldn't be allowed to add them by law, because they are risky)
The Linda McCartney products are full of stodgy, fatty ingredients that try to mimic meat. They really aren't very good for you if you have them regularly.
Several items made by companies like Quorn and Vegetarian Butcher though, are healthier than meat.

many will say… “bloody hell I will miss my fry up but I read this and watched that, and now I now more about the back story… never again”

and if it wasn’t for that reason, not a chance they would give up the sausage sandwiches

What did he eat before he was veggie? If the only veg he ate then was peas then he's not suddenly going to love all veg.

But you could tell him that you're happy for him to be veggie, but he needs to learn to eat more variety.

My 18 year old has been pescetarian for about 10 years now. He's also very fussy. Although he eats more variety than just peas in terms of vegetables. He has peas most days though because they are cheap and easy. That's also true of the meat eating child.

My sister has always joked that she's a 'tarian' because she doesn't eat meat or most veg.

A lovely Cauldron sausage sandwich with ketchup is a perfect alternative

I'm hoping that the swing against fake meat does soon filter through to restaurants. Unfortunately lazy chefs are happy to just add a vegan burger to the menu and consider they have ticked the veggie/vegan box.

I've started complaining whenever there is no other choice on the menu and making a point of ordering plain salad and chips as there is nothing suitable for me to eat!

I have one child who is veggie and one who has difficulty with vegetables (is ND before anyone starts). So similar issues, although of course possible to cook separately.

Will he eat any raw veg such as carrot and pepper sticks? Anything dipped in hummus?

Mine will also eat sweet potato, which is something to bridge the gap.

If he will eat things in a tomato sauce, would you be able to make some sort of veggie chilli or cottage pie?

Fajitas are also popular here as people can add in the things they eat.

"Have you explained to him that being vegetarian means eating vegetables & fruit?"

Does it? I thought it meant not eating meat 🤣

Exactly but @AscensionToCheese seems to think that is… well what? If they were unhealthy before, and they change to vegetarian because whilst they love meat they don’t want to following what they read/ watched etc then what’s the issue with meat substitutes market accommodating them with, yes, often unhealthy alternative

This is a future AIBU for sure

AIBU for going NC with my mum, for feeding my vegan kids meat when I'm not there