to be proud yet really annoyed with DS becoming a vegetarian

[Lois345]

My DS (age nearly 5) decided some months ago that he doesn't want to eat animals and he wants to be a vegetarian. I thought it would last three days, but four months later he is sticking to his guns (no one else in the family is a vegetarian although we do not eat a lot of meat). I am proud of him for making up his own mind, however, here is the problem: ds doesn't like vegetables. He eat peas and that is about it. I can camouflage vegetable in tomato sauce for pasta and I found a mac and cheese recipe which includes quite a bit of veg. I try new things (sweet and sour fake chicken yesterday), but generally with no luck at all.
Basically, I have about 3 recipes that he will eat and it is driving me bonkers to cook the same thing over and over again. It is also really difficult to take him out among friends as he basically will not eat what is being served.

Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences (does it get better?) are really welcome and very much appreciated. Also, any good recipes that you can recommend?

Can't remember the last time I've seen anyone so blatantly begging for an Advance Search.

@GiraffeLaSophie 💚

I've no idea how much time you've got on your hands but when my kids were about your DS age, they took part in a study which was encouraging children to eat veg.
Every day for a month I gave each child a plate with a decent sized piece of each of the following raw veg: red pepper, carrot, celery, cucumber and a cherry tomato. We also had a sticker chart with a gap for each veg each day.
I had to present a plate like this to each child every day for a month and put a sticker on the chart for each veg they ate; even if it was a tiny bit, even if they spat it out.

It sounds like a pita but it did improve things.

Good luck.

Thank you for being so lovely about vegetarianism and understanding of him! People will always be resistant and dubious and doubt where you get your protein from, but that’s just life. Lots of studies actually show a plant based diet longer term can reduce all sorts of health risks. Growing up as a veggie I was really robust and didn’t catch many colds or anything like that! If you are on social media there are some really helpful groups around, like UK vegetarians and non judgy vegans UK.

Not at all insulting to people of certain cultures where vegetarianism is the norm!

Ignore this ridiculous poster OP.

I'm from a family that's 'traditionally' vegetarian. I think this is silly.
But then again, we were poor and ate what we were given. None of this 'I don't like vegetables' we'd have starved.
I don't understand how British toddlers are so fussy with 'bland meals' too. We ate the same as adults.

Tofu etc is good but veggie burgers, fake meat alternatives etc are loaded with preservatives. flabout enhancers etc that aren't healthy.

He eats what he's given, and if he wants to be vegetarian when he's older fair enough.

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but I agree - 'Anglo' vegetarianism is silly in the sense that many people don't want to eat vegetables, they want 'meat like' substitutes.

This is very unhealthy in the long-term.

Also OP have a look at recipes form traditionally veggie cultures. Indian and Chinese is a good place to start.
But maybe, there willl be too much flavour for toddlers who insist on erm 'bland meals'???

@Lois345 · Today 12:08

Thanks so much for all your wonderful suggestions and encouragement! It is really very much appreciated. There are some great suggestions for recipes in your comments and I really appreciate the encouragement from those of you who have been through similar experiences. Thankfully DS loves fruit, so we do try to make sure that he gets a bit of fruit with or after his main meals. Good point about the multivitamin. I will stock up today.

@Lois345 · Today 12:15

@EbonyRaven with your child being quite a bit older, I think you have forgotten how headstrong 4/5 year olds are. My DS found out that the animals we eat are generally young and did not die by themselves and then decided that he did not want to eat animals. I am profoundly proud of his care for animals, his kindness, his empathy, and his ability to make up his own mind. If he sticks with these abilities, I think he will grow up to be a wonderful adult (however, until that happens, I just want to figure out wth to feed him ;-))

Gosh that's a massive leap from being really annoyed about your son being a vegetarian (at 5 years old,) just an hour and three quarters ago, and making a concerned and worried thread - to being chuffed to ribbons, and bending over backwards to accommodate his every need dietary now.

You do you.

There’s some utter idiots on here!
I was brought up veggie, didn’t eat fish til I was 11 or meat til I was 13, then I went back to being veggie from 15-35ish.
My DCs didn’t eat meat til they were 3 & 5 respectively, but DS was such a fussy eater we gave up and started him on chicken!
You can absolutely eat healthily being vegetarian but it does help to like veg as a lot of vegetarian food has a basis in vegetables, although beans/pulses also count. It’s more important to get protein in so eggs/dairy/beans/lentils/tofu/houmous etc. I’d steer clear of a lot of meat subs as they’re full of crap Ie, quorn. I used to use it a lot though before UPF was a ‘thing’ - use lentils instead.

One of mine talked to me about being vegetarian at 12. I didn't say yes or no but I did talk it through with him and explained I only bought free range meat, which I realise is not an answer for anyone who is against eating animals. Anyway he decided against and is a confirmed carnivore as an adult. The other DC went vegetarian in his teens. I could see his was a much more nuanced and thought through decision and I fully supported it. Taught him how to cook veggie and about essentail nutrition. He remains vegetarian.
To be quite honest I would not have agreed to a 5 year old, not least one who is already a fussy eater. At 5 you make the decisions on their behalf.

Exactly.
I despair when I see people being 'vegetarian' but not changing their cooking habits. Still in a meat sub mindset

Ha, I'm a vegetarian of 30 years but when I was small the only vegetables I liked were peas and potatoes.

I went through my teenage years dissecting meat as I was so squeamish about bits of fat. I would eat chicken as it didn't have any fatty bits in it.

Still like peas (and they have amazing amount of protein)

My children have been vegetarian since birth. My eldest has been massively into it since the age of 3. DH and I are vegetarians also, so we just fed our DC adult food from first weaning. As a result DC1 has always eaten curries, chilli, paelle etc. Will eat any vegetable and salad. The only thing that doesn't go down well is processed fake meat.

DC2 was a much fussier eater. Hated texture and so wouldn't eat vegetables. We had to blend vegetables for a long time and then chop food very small. Since the age of about 5 DC2 started to become more adventurous with vegetables and would eat small portions, and from age 6 began to eat pretty much exactly what the rest of the family ate. DC2 is now very interested in trying new foods.

The blender is your friend. As is making a game/challenge of food. "I dare you to try this broccoli?" etc. We also got our children to help with cooking and our DC loved to try bits of vegetable as they were being chopped. Then we'd eat the meal the kids had cooked and even when we could tell that it wasn't quite their liking, they'd persevere with it because they made it themselves. Another thing which worked well for us was to let the children pick a country and then we'd plan a 3 course meal together from the food of that country. It was a fun way to get them to try new flavours and they were always really excited to step out of their comfort zone.

Food should be fun and low pressure. I wouldn't go into battle or stress. If your child is energetic, growing on track and has a decent immune system I wouldn't worry about a fussy eater too much at this stage.

I feel a real kinship with your son I too gave up eating meat and fish at 5 when I realised what it was. My mum and dad are gone now but I have always been grateful to them for respecting my decision.
Was he a picky eater before? What did he used to enjoy?
praise him for trying new things even if he spits them out, tell him he’ll like it a bit better the next time. Keep trying new things but don’t make a fuss. He’ll get there and won’t starve in the meantime.

'He eats what he's given, and if he wants to be vegetarian when he's older fair enough.'

I thought I was the only one thinking this! OP, he's FIVE. I thought from your thread title that you were going to say he was 15. A five year old doesn't get to make a major lifestyle change like that. I have nothing against being vegetarian, I eat a mostly vegetarian diet myself, but no way would I be changing the family's diet because of what a 5 year old wants. And he won't eat vegetables! You're the parent, you're in charge of his nutrition. This is way too much control for such a young child

Is this one of those stealthy try to make people feel guilty for eating meat thread? Bit of a turn around there from the first post.

If you want to eat a specific way then you put the effort in yourself. That age is old enough.

My daughter now in her mid 20s, has been a vegan for 7 years, and she says she is going to raise her kids (when she has them) as vegans. Now THAT I am not going to be fucking impressed with at ALL, although I have said nothing thus far. If she DOES go ahead with it, I will be persuading her to not do it.

Lol good luck with that. Controlling much.

@gamerchick

Is this one of those stealthy try to make people feel guilty for eating meat thread? Bit of a turn around there from the first post.

Exactly that I said/thought. OP's subsequent posts were a complete about-turn from her original post.

My DS who has ASD did this at 4 years old after he made the connection when he saw something on TV. It lasted until he was 16. He's now a strapping 6foot something young man who eats everything but I can relate to this so much. He basically survived on pizza & cheese sandwiches & now jokes about having been the only vegetarian he knows who never like vegetables. The stress of eating out, parties, school trips or Scout Camps is etched in my brain. Good for him but I feel your pain @Lois345

I was vegetarian from around that age OP, although I ate lots of veg. My sibling also went vege quite young and the only fruit/veg he ate were apples, bananas, peas and carrots. He remained healthy. My mum did take him to the doctors but they were not concerned at all.

I became vegan as a teen, one of my kids is vegetarian and the other vegan, both from young ages. They’re healthy.

He sounds like a caring little boy. Keep encouraging him to try more foods but he’ll be fine.

This is MN, the place where all pre-school children understand about diet and their health.
He’ll have studied the matter in depth and have took advice from the experts.
I’m sure the OP, as a responsible parent would not have allowed him to do it otherwise.
😉😁😁

Out of interest, did he enjoy meat etc before his decision?

Well the tone of the posts was very much 'how can I support him'. OP is annoyed but equally she never intended on laying down the law.

As an aside...
In poorer countries people are not vegetarian out of choice... meat is just so expensive. Even in the UK you have people 'bulking things out' with lentils etc for the same reason.

It's very privileged, and , in my humble opinion out of touch to insist on being vegetarian but turn your nose up at most things offered. I understand that the kid is 5, and doesn't think that deeply, but that's why he should just eat what's given. He wants to be vegetarian - eat veggies.

Shouldn't be twisting yourself into pretzels.

*many people of course. Not 'all'.