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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Alfie Steele

313 replies

Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:20

I checked there was no other thread before I posted this one. Alfie, 9, killed by mum and her bf. Drowned. A catalogue of abuse and many phone calls to police/ss by neighbours. The neighbours often fed him too. We HAVE to find people accountable in this case. It was reported. People knew. Nothing was done. Absolutely nothing. Its harrowing. I feel like I failed him. And I'm hundreds of miles away.

OP posts:
ZoeCM · 14/06/2023 14:14

potniatheron · 14/06/2023 13:37

There's another issue however - and that is of single mums getting into relationships with men who go on to kill the mother's child. This seems to be the pattern. What work can be done to prevent this? Why are women willing to accept abuse from new partners towards children? What programmes are in place for these women? (Because while she is guilty let's face it there was no record of abuse until he came on the scene)

It's called the Cinderella Effect. It has been observed in chimpanzee 'families as well as humans. There is a reason why the 'wicked stepmother' is a trope in folktales and old stories. The introduction of a step parent significantly increases a child's risk of abuse.

This is why it drives me nuts when children who ask their mothers not to move her boyfriend into the home are criticised on MN. They're accused of trying to run their mother's life - when, actually, they're quite possibly just protecting their own. Having an unrelated male move into the home is one of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child, yet when they instinctively object to this, they're considered brats. No one would expect an adult woman to be happy to share a home with a strange man, yet plenty of kids are expected to do just that.

potniatheron · 14/06/2023 14:17

ZoeCM · 14/06/2023 14:14

This is why it drives me nuts when children who ask their mothers not to move her boyfriend into the home are criticised on MN. They're accused of trying to run their mother's life - when, actually, they're quite possibly just protecting their own. Having an unrelated male move into the home is one of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child, yet when they instinctively object to this, they're considered brats. No one would expect an adult woman to be happy to share a home with a strange man, yet plenty of kids are expected to do just that.

My mother moved a new man into the home when I was 8 and that's when my serious abuse began in earnest. I'm still dealing with it now in my 50s.

But to stay on topic, the one big policy change that could be made to address the national shortage of social workers is to remove the degree requirement and put it back to the on the job training and qualifications that were required before the Blair government. Requiring a social work degree has deterred a lot of people who could be very good SWs but aren't necessarily academics, or don't wish to start life saddled with debt.

the same goes for nurses but that is a different thread.

captainjacksparrow · 14/06/2023 14:27

Something that would massively help with the recruitment and retention of social workers would be to massively improve the public image of them and show respect for the workforce.

as a profession we suffer insane amounts of abuse both verbal and physical and get very little recognition unless we are being slated in the press

mogsrus · 14/06/2023 14:33

Lessons will be learned, no they won’t, they’re never in the right classroom ! Not fit for purpose. Poor child once again let down by the establishment. We must never let this happen again, they say. Until the next time.

crazeekat · 14/06/2023 14:35

heads need to roll for this they have said to the public report report and keep reporting every single time, thwy didn't remove him cos the mum was engaging, what a crock of shit!!! other cases i think social work have done what they thwy an and they get shafted by the courts, this time with Alfie, they have not. they need to all be singularly held accountable now. enough is enough. the whole lot needs to be proper open investigation, courts , schools, swd hospitals. every time someeone dies it is ooooh wee see the failures now. but nothing changes. excuses excuses excuses.

Seymour5 · 14/06/2023 14:38

captainjacksparrow · 14/06/2023 14:27

Something that would massively help with the recruitment and retention of social workers would be to massively improve the public image of them and show respect for the workforce.

as a profession we suffer insane amounts of abuse both verbal and physical and get very little recognition unless we are being slated in the press

I agree. And I'm not a social worker.

piedbeauty · 14/06/2023 14:44

This is one of the saddest stories I've read. What happened after all the neighbours' calls to the police? Someone must be held accountable. Alfie was not protected. He was failed.

MaPaSpa · 14/06/2023 14:58

The issue is you often have subpar students who are passed because services are desperate for staff

newly qualified sw who are put on extremely complex cases with barely any supervision.
senior sw who are leaving due to rubbish pay and massive caseloads. It’s absolutely dangerous.

that without even going in the lack of emergency placements, foster care, care homes, kinship care, care for children with complex trauma etc etc

KnitMePurlMe · 14/06/2023 15:03

@crazeekat have you read ANY of the thread or did you just think “yay another social worker pile on, I’ll join in”? 🙄

musicalold · 14/06/2023 15:07

@potniatheron I just found this link - it's not enough but I didn't realise that SW students still get a bursary. There are also fast track options so no debt is incurred at all.

I don't agree at all that SW (or nursing) should revert to not being a graduate profession.

www.communitycare.co.uk/2023/03/15/government-has-no-plans-to-review-level-of-social-work-bursaries-despite-nine-year-freeze/

Freysimo · 14/06/2023 15:16

BerriesPineCones · 14/06/2023 00:11

ALL public services are run into the ground under this government. People are dying waiting for ambulances. State schools are in a mess/teacher shortages. Mental health services are dire. Jailing social workers/ paramedics/ teachers won't help. You need to look at who's running the country.
Doubtless I'll now be inundated with people saying the government are doing a marvellous job and it's just those lazy social workers/paramedics etc

It's not just the UK government. Wales Government is responsible for Child Services here and we've not long had the case of poor Logan Mwangi.

Ffswhatsthepoint · 14/06/2023 17:10

There has always been child abuse/murders. When I was 7 my friends, who lived across the road, got murdered by their mother. She found a new bf, kids were a thorn in her side. She set the house on fire, both of them died. I watched the house burn down from my bedroom window. And yet 40 years later we are no further forward. It needs a team of people (who only have the childrens best interests at heart) to come together, join resources, possibly remove/change some of the red tape that surrounds protecting children and seems to be more of a hinderence...and most definitely more investment in every sense in SW's.

I haven't read every response on here yet, I will later. I've had a job interview today and haven't had time to catch up. But thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:
WilkinsonM · 14/06/2023 17:35

musicalold · 14/06/2023 15:07

@potniatheron I just found this link - it's not enough but I didn't realise that SW students still get a bursary. There are also fast track options so no debt is incurred at all.

I don't agree at all that SW (or nursing) should revert to not being a graduate profession.

www.communitycare.co.uk/2023/03/15/government-has-no-plans-to-review-level-of-social-work-bursaries-despite-nine-year-freeze/

All SW students used to be entitled to a bursary but the tories restricted numbers. This happened the year after I qualified and the numbers of students on the course I did dropped by 1/3 the following year.

WilkinsonM · 14/06/2023 17:35

musicalold · 14/06/2023 15:07

@potniatheron I just found this link - it's not enough but I didn't realise that SW students still get a bursary. There are also fast track options so no debt is incurred at all.

I don't agree at all that SW (or nursing) should revert to not being a graduate profession.

www.communitycare.co.uk/2023/03/15/government-has-no-plans-to-review-level-of-social-work-bursaries-despite-nine-year-freeze/

All SW students used to be entitled to a bursary but the tories restricted numbers. This happened the year after I qualified and the numbers of students on the course I did dropped by 1/3 the following year.

BlueAndGreen89 · 14/06/2023 17:43

I’ve been doing Child Protection training this week as part of my new job. I went into the staff room at lunchtime yesterday, after two hours of reading and competing activities and real-life scenarios, picked my phone up to read the news, and saw this story. Everything I’ve learnt this week talks about spotting potential signs of abuse, not hesitating to speak up about your concerns, making sure you report accurately, and in a timely manner.
What is the fucking point if nothing is done with those reports?? Seriously, what is the point?? It made me so angry.

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/06/2023 17:57

It needs a team of people (who only have the childrens best interests at heart) to come together, join resources, possibly remove/change some of the red tape that surrounds protecting children and seems to be more of a hinderence...

The difficulty is even thinking about the best interests of the child you’re dealing with competing priorities, and frankly often choosing the least worst option. Keeping the child with their birth family and putting supports in place can be a good option, removing the child introduces additional trauma, they may be moved around foster placements (foster carers can give notice at any time) and may not cope well in residential care. Keeping the child with the birth family however also involves a degree of risk which needs to be managed. Equally some children do really well in foster care and some thrive in a residential home, particularly compared to an adverse home environment.

It’s not often obvious which children are at risk of being killed by their parents or carers, situations change quickly and sometimes spring out of nowhere - a relatively stable situation can turn on a dime, foster carers can give notice very unexpectedly and children’s needs can dramatically change as they grow.

It’s a complex process of assessment, consultation and decision making - before we even get to resources. Cases like this make the headlines and for good reason, but most child protection practice is done day by day in relationships with families and other professionals considering the right thing to do from the legal options open to them.

BigCheekBitch · 14/06/2023 18:15

@Ffswhatsthepoint

I'm so sorry to read about your friends. What a horrific thing you've had to process all these years Sad

Itisalwayspossibletobekind · 14/06/2023 18:32

My heart breaks. How could the police hear this phone call

"It sounds like he's being hit and held under the water or something and loads of thrashing around."

Did the Police attend poor Alfie's home when they received this call?

Wenfy · 14/06/2023 18:35

social services often focuses too much on the right of the parent and not enough on the kids. This child should have been taken away as soon as social services realised the mum had lied about living with him - he was known to have violence issues.

TheHandmaiden · 14/06/2023 18:39

He had convictions for child cruelty.

DisquietintheRanks · 14/06/2023 18:39

UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/06/2023 23:40

We were talking about this this evening, as a PP said, it's always 'lessons will be learned' and yet they never are. It seems there are more and more cases of child murder by parents every year. Maybe it's time they started giving prison sentences to social workers, or those who were made aware what was happening, but failed to act, as well as the perpetrators, it would actually make a difference? It just seems that these people never actually take responsibility for failing these poor children, it's an absolute disgrace.

Sure, they could do think as soon as they introduce maximum caseloads for sw and stick to them. And once they've increased their powers so they can insist on access to a child. And once the police and medical staff and teachers and court officials are placed under the same threat of prosecution.

Mimilamore · 14/06/2023 18:43

Having worked with SW's, in my experience the older experienced ones are burnt out and have compassion fatigue and the young ones are too keen to tick boxes and be a " friend" to the family. There are good ones out there but it is a lottery...

UpaladderwatchingTV · 14/06/2023 19:53

DisquietintheRanks · 14/06/2023 18:39

Sure, they could do think as soon as they introduce maximum caseloads for sw and stick to them. And once they've increased their powers so they can insist on access to a child. And once the police and medical staff and teachers and court officials are placed under the same threat of prosecution.

If you bothered to read my post properly 'disquietintheranks', you would notice that I referred to others 'who were made aware what was happening, but failed to act, as well as the perpetrators'. I was not just picking on social workers, as it's clear that others have responsibility in these cases too. So please get your facts straight and untwist your knickers before getting in a tizzy with me. At the end of the day, the whole system lets these poor children down, and I don't think one person on here could disagree with that!

opalescent · 14/06/2023 21:27

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/06/2023 02:31

As someone who used to have a caseload of 10s of people who this could happen to, who was overworked, underpaid, blamed and pilloried for existing, and everyone knew better than me how to do my job... I left.

People think SWs have a caseload of maybe 20, with one person where this could happen. It's more like 100, where in 50 cases this could happen. There are NO easy cases. SWs aren't psychic, they have to assess, listen to unreliable witnesses who all lie, knowing that removing a child will definitely fuck their whole life up. Definitely.

SWs save lives every day but it is completely invisible. They can't talk about it and no one knows.

If you think SWs are thick (from this thread), incompetent (from everywhere) and lazy and heartless, retrain. Do it yourself. Quickly while you know everything. Make sure to never make a mistake, never miss anything, know who is lying, know who is telling the truth and finish all your work while there's still time to sleep and eat.

Or:

  1. Don't vote Tory
  2. Be important in the life of a child
  3. Volunteer
  4. Welcome the DC who are smelly, poorly behaved and violent to your homes
  5. Actually care about your neighbours
  6. Foster
  7. Don't vote Tory

I know it's easier to blame the people who do the hard work while you're sitting on your arse, but the fact is violent abuse happens every day. It's constant. You just don't have to see it every day. SWs do, poor bastards.

1000 times this.
I am fascinated at how confidently the general public can belittle an entire workforce.
It is utterly ridiculous to suggest that most SWs are 'lazy' or incompetent'.

As mentioned above, children are rescued from dangerous homes on a daily basis, all over the country, but this is invisible.
The system is fucked, and (as with the NHS), stuck in a cycle of relying on agency workers who come and go, and fail to build trusting relationships with children and families. The working conditions for substantive staff are crap, meaning that turnover is high.

Social work is incredibly nuanced, and the stakes in decision making are about as high as it gets.

Unless you have worked in Safeguarding you have no idea.

opalescent · 14/06/2023 21:29

All of that said....on this occasion I am shocked at the clarity and frequency of reports by neighbours, and why/ how this didn't manifest as significant change for Alfie