To think this was unfair on DS7

[Silver35]

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here but it's always good to check what others think!

DS7 stayed at his Dad's the weekend just gone. His birthday is tomorrow. His half brother's birthday was yesterday, and he was 5.

On the weekend he was at his Dad's, my ex and his partner threw a birthday party for his younger brother, with presents, food, birthday cake, some of his friends and all the extended family (on that side) went.

DS7 came home very upset because despite his birthday being only 3 days after his brother's, it wasn't acknowledged at all. No presents, birthday cake, no one there to see him.

He now won't be seeing his Dad for 3 weeks as he couldn't have him his regular weekend as he's going away.

Surely that's an awful thing to do, or am I just being overprotective here? Me and my ex don't get along so I'm hoping that isn't clouding my judgement!

With birthdays being that close together, they should have celebrated both. And I say that as a stepmother. I wouldn’t dream of doing that to another child. Very unfair in my opinion.

That is very poor from his Dad. Have you asked him about it? My children's birthdays are less than a month apart and we have a family party in the middle, so it is too early for Ds1 but too late for Ds2 but it is how it works with our family and their commitments.

Very shitty of his Dad and Stepmum not to at least acknowledge he had his birthday coming up. Lots of children have their parties on the weekend when their birthday falls on a weekday.

That is awful, I'm not surprised he's upset, his dad needs a rocket up his arse.

That is disgusting. Does he have form for being cruel to your DS?

what did he say when you asked him about this? is there a history of him treating the boys differently??

God that's awful.

That does seem unfair to your son. Especially if he was there for both days of the weekend, then surely one of the days should've been "his".

Are you having a party for DS this coming weekend with his friends and family? Perhaps your ex just didn't think he needed to do anything because DS's party was covered by you? But yes, mean to not give him a present or cake or card!

I'd be tempted to send him the link to this thread. It might open his eyes to see outside perspectives (that he can't attribute to you overreacting).

I've voted yanbu as you are not. However, my younger brothers birthday is 2 days after mine and as a child when he visited our mum for my birthday mum's family and stepdads would also celebrate his and give him presents on my birthday. When 2 days later we then went to dad to celebrate his mine qss never celebrated as "I'd had mine" I as a child felt this meant d bro got 2 birthdays and I only got 1 to share.

So I do have some understanding for why it was not mentioned. Its really important to ensure both children feel validated. However the problem here is your ds is not validated. If he had returned with presents and given hugs and told happy b day for next week that would have been a very different scenario. Here it seems like he was just forgotten. That's not right.

What a dick! I bet he’s forgotten!

That is awful. Unfortunately for your son you get the parents you are given. Hopefully you can support him as he comes to terms with the fact his dad is a tosser.

That is so incredibly cruel. Your poor DS. And your shitty bloody ex.

That is disgusting. Your poor son. You need to make it clear to his dad that is unacceptable

Mine and my husbands charged child and my stepchildren all have birthdays close together. We always celebrate their individually with their own friends and then have a group together one with the family like you have described

Shared child

What an awful thing to do to a 7 year old! Plus, the fact there's only 2 years between your son and his half brother. Ex didn't mess around impregnating the next one did he?!

I'd have a word with ex about the birthday scenario that's just happened. And about going forwards because the boys birthdays will always be close together. They should be celebrated together with his side of the family.

I hate to ask this OP, but if he's not seeing his DS for 3 weeks, Is that because he's off on holiday with the new partner and DS (5)?

Both of them really are a piece of work! Your poor DS

Lousy Form from his Dad, the poor kid.

That's unbelievable! How hurtful to your DS. Were any of your ex's side of the family at the party at the weekend? Surprising none of them mentioned it or brought a gift over.

Out of order in my opinion.

Your ex and his new partner are horrible people to do that to a child. Nasty behaviour. Your poor son.

Ouch how horrible. He is clearly playing 'new families' with his new woman and kid. How mean some people can be.
I hope your boy has a fantastic birthday with your side of the family and his friends and forgets all about the experience.

That is absolutely and utterly disgraceful from his father. Your poor boy.

That is just downright fucking cruel. Your poor DS :(

The only way that this would have been OK is if they were throwing a similar party this weekend for your DS, OP. But they aren't.

What a horrible way to treat a little child. Just old enough to feel and understand the slight and too young to shield his own feelings.

Your poor DS

What a horrible pair his DF and his new partner are