To think that 5/6 year old little girls don’t need to wear shorts under dresses to “protect their modesty”

[Darthwazette]

Just what the subject like says really. I’d be interested to know other parents thoughts. I’m not a weirdo, this request has been made of my daughters from school and it makes me feel a bit icky.

Not really.
I wore a skirt that was 6 inches long to school as a teenager 30 years ago. I should add I was also very skinny and I'm barely 5'0" so it wasn't as short as it could've been on someone bigger at least!
Flash forward to current day the high schools round here have introduced tartan skirts as part of the uniform and they're custom fitted to each girl so they look to all have the same coverage regardless of height etc.
So not really a sign of the times as the school kids here now are way more modest than we were 3 decades ago!

My daughter started wearing shorts under dresses in year one because she wanted to sit cross legged on the carpet without showing her knickers. She feels more comfortable in shorts as she can sit how she likes, cartwheel etc without worrying about her knickers being on show to the other kids. I don’t mind it- I was the same as a child.

This is bizarre! Maybe 10 years ago, any talk of modesty in clothing was assumed to be backwards, religious and fanatical. Lots of horror expressed that conservative Christian girls were all going to get thrush from wearing Lycra shorts in hot weather. Lots of anger pointing out that we shouldn’t make girls feel responsible for the actions of others because of their clothing choices, that the onus is on the men (usually) to behave appropriately in the first place. I can’t fathom how it’s now become mainstream and expected. They’re just little kids at primary school. Let them be innocent while they still can.

I only had boys so didn't have this to deal with but my friend had a dd who was never still and got her one of these for school, gingham dress but shorts and they looked smart and lightweight and comfy

When I see our local pre teen and teen Academy girls walking home from school for sure they don’t wear shorts under their skirts and my goodness me, there’s no modesty there.

A large proportion of the teen secondary girls here are the same - long socks as well - vey St trinians like - and then there rest like D2 who wear trousers.

DD1 year some like her tried longer skirts but were just as likely to be told off as girls with belt skits - going up stairs where the skirt briefly rode up or having them too long ie below knees too far.

College with no uniform is much better - they pretty much all ware jeans/trousers.

I don't have any problem with the shorts tbh (although I don't really get why you don't just buy short-style knickers) but the use of the word "modesty" is just eurghhh.

I don't insist if DD doesn't want to wear them but I do put them out for her to wear so mostly she does. For several reasons:

1. I always wear shorts with dresses because my thighs rub together..I'm not sure if DD has the same problem. Probably not because she's very thin but it just seems more comfortable to me.

1. I tell DD that privates are private and only for her to see or touch unless someone provides an extremely good reason like a doctor. So the shorts help keep her private. It's a tricky one because theoretically I tell her that no one has a right to see or touch her against her wish so if she wishes to flash her knickers or anything else it should be theoretically ok but I still don't want her to do this. Not sure yet how to deal with that.

I don't like the name modesty shorts. I don't think girls need to preserve their modesty as if that's something they can lose. I just call them shorts and use cotton short legging types.

My DD always opted for shorts underneath from about Y2.

Prior to that, there were photos of the children doing an activity on the classroom wall and she was cross-legged in one with her knickers showing. I wasn’t sure about that and so when she later went for cycling shorts, I was mildly relieved.

My DD (10) does because she does cartwheels and doesn’t want anyone seeing her knickers (which also move about and I’ve certainly seen her with a bum cheek out doing a cartwheel!)

I think the key word here is "need". No, I don't think they NEED to. But if they or their parents want to, then it's still a (relatively) free country.

I think there is a risk of creeping standards though. If more and more people feel the need to do this, then those that don't gradually become the minority and eventually, potentially stigmatised for what was once normal practice.

Persoanlly i think the important thing is remembering we try to encourage children to understand that certain areas of the body are private, so if we then start telling them but it’s fine if that is seen when your playing then it sends mixed messages.

i think cullouttes/shorts are much more practical for school for that reason so they can play with no thought needed!

If it was led by my daughters I wouldn’t have an issue. If they wanted to wear cycling shorts or those play suits or black shorts and a polo shirt I’d be fine. Just didn’t feel right being told that my daughters needed to protect their modesty by a grown woman.

Not practical when kids need the toilet though…

I agree. We used to all do handstands and cartwheels with gingham summer dresses tucked into our knickers and did PE in vests and pants in the infants, in the 1980s.

DDs always wore shorts under dresses as that seemed to be the convention at their primary school but I don't think it's particularly a progressive step.

I live near the local secondary and I feel like shouting “Your skirt is so short I can see the gusset of your tights!!” They have to wear hideous thick tartan skirts too which look ridiculous rolled up.

I remember a post a while back from a MNer who wanted to support her DD’s crusade in school to make it not about what girls wear but about how boys shouldn’t look. A teacher came on to say how uncomfortable short skirts and low tops made her and the risk she felt from saying something - she said that one girl had a skirt so short and obviously a tiny pair on thong type knickers that her vulva was visible to the teacher.

I'll buy some if DD starts asking but so far she's happy as she is. Are cycling shorts not really sweaty in hot weather?

Lots of supermarkets have started bringing in playsuits in school gingham which seem like a good idea but I can't think that anything that requires small children to strip.off entirely when they may have left it late to get to the toilet is a good idea and for their entire outfit to be sitting on the floor of the loo.

People who wear playsuits/jumpsuits to festivals similarly baffle me.

Well, when I was about 7 I had been playing in the school field in a skirt. I got bitten by an insect under my knickers.
It was so bad I had to go to hospital to have it drained....

And that's why I wear shorts under everything! 😳

I understand OP, with school telling you it feels a bit more like a message of ‘without shorts girls are not modest’ which feels a bit grim. However like others have said, in practical terms my DDs are climbing trees and doing cartwheels and I don’t want everyone to see their pants, because I am teaching them that these areas are private and it’s easier to cover them than ask a child to modify their behaviour.

Girls pants are woefully inadequate in this country. They reveal every wee or poo stain while boys pants don’t. Not sure about you but my DD hated that.

I wear shorts under dresses. I actually find it comfier in the heat. Less chafing😂

I think it's totally unnecessary (and totally undermines the excellent PANTS guidance from NSPCC) but then DD has always worn 'boy-short' style knickers which are quite close-fitting and provide a lot of coverage so there is literally no way part of her vulva could be exposed as pp are describing.

A "no underwear on show" rule across the board seems sensible for schools. Boys sometimes have their trousers pulled low, no one eants to see boxers. And younger girls tend to do a lot of cartwheels etc.

The boys uniform takes care of that by being trousers, but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask parents to either put their girls in shorts under their dresses or just to wear shorts or trousers in order to comply with the "no underwear on show on school" rule for all.

Given my 5 year old DDs love of being naked, it's a miracle she keeps her knickers on for a whole day of school...

this. We don’t expect boys to be running around outside in just a long jumper and underwear - why do we expect girls to do it?

Underwear is exactly that - UNDER wear. It’s for comfort and hygiene and privacy.

So I don’t expect to see anyone’s underwear in public whether that’s a teenager’s thong out the back of jeans, a builder’s pants above his baggy trousers, a woman’s lacy bra through a white top or indeed a small child’s knickers.