Things that irritate you

[Lightroot]

I know these threads get done a lot but I’m feeling irritable so here are mine (they’re not all rational, I admit)

People saying ‘myself’ and ‘yourself’ instead of me and you in an attempt to sound professional.

People starting posts with, for example, ‘dentist here’ or ‘solicitor here’ before giving their opinion. It just sounds really smug.

’good’ anything, eg ‘good butter’, ‘good bread’, ‘good chocolate’. Again so smug.

’crusty bread’ eg “serve with crusty bread and good butter” ARRGGH

The word ‘meal’ eg “I had just finished my meal”. I don’t know why. It just irritates me.

Groups of people standing chatting in the middle of the pavement or supermarket aisle not aware or giving a shit that they’re blocking it.

People talking through long yawns. Just yawn then talk ffs

Ridiculously loud exaggerated sneezes. In my experience almost always men.

When people say “nom-nom”, “nommy” or “get in my belly” and also any reference to “food baby”…makes me think someone just needs a massive shit

When people say “needs gone” about any free item on Facebook

When someone has a birthday/anniversary and purposefully lays out all their gifts, cards and money to take a photo for social media. Very braggy! Similarly, photos of their kid’s massive stack of presents, usually tagged with “all ready for the birthday girl”…again, very braggy!

1)People who press their faces against windows to look in or out.
2) People who pick their nails or dry skin on hands/ feet.
3) People who talk with their mouth full/ make slapping sounds or start saying something and shove food in and make you wait.
4) People who queue jump aka entitled fuckers.
5) People whose mouths click as they talk.
6) Greasy people with poor hygiene and houses that smell of stale washing and chip fat.
7) Lip fillers.

When people say “nom-nom”

Is that an American thing? I have heard it a bit in recent years. Annoys me too.

People who expel bodily fluids at the dining table when others are eating. Totally disgusting. What makes your snot different from my piss? Both should be done in the bathroom.

People who refer to “Da Vinci”. That’s like calling me “From London”. Vinci was his birth place - his name was Leonardo.

Yep, that's me!

Many of mine have been mentioned:

• yourself/myself
• the "human being" thing

Also:

• gen-u-WINE instead of gen-u-WIN
• talking about proNUNciation but saying 'proNOUNciation - the irony of this really grinds my gears
• verbing nouns, e.g. "I'm hoping to podium", "Could you diarise the date"
• "I literally died laughing". No you didn't.
• having conversations on speaker phone in a public place
• cold-shoulder tops
• inch long lash extensions that flap in the wind
• sole occupants/drivers of cars wearing masks
• the whole pronouns malarky that is especially crazy in the public service
• being told how I will behave or react, as in, "You'll LOVE Japanese food, I'll promise you'll love it". I promise you, I won't.

Possibly alone here but hoping not; when people over-use my name when speaking to me. I don’t mean to get my attention but in conversation. I feel like, fine, we know each other’s names, don’t keep fucking saying it. I find it sort of condescending or unfriendly or something, hard to articulate. Like it deliberately puts distance between us or something?

I hate it too. I always feel like whoever I’m talking to has just done a neuro-linguistic programming course, and I’m their guinea pig.

People starting a sentence with I mean i.e I mean it could just be that he's tired. I feel like people are trying to be edgy and American when they do it.

Picky bits.
24/7

I feel your pain with all of these!

Have you ever read any Marian Keyes books? She had a character who had a “shovel list”
it was things she hatred enough to hit with a shovel. My best friend and I adopted the concept and I recognised you as a kindred spirit with yours!
I especially appreciated the “lolabear38”

off to make myself some homemade kimchi now whilst drinking a bespoke coffee blend, look out for the photos from my new startup. My user name is “Milibobs&hubster”💕.

People treating their dogs like humans and taking them to cafes, shops etc

no-one goes around saying 'way' so why would you say 'no way'?

Ahem. I think Bill and Ted would beg to differ 😀

People who think it’s ok to park outside my bedroom window at 4:30am and leave their engine running for ages.

Cyclists who ignore the cycle lane and use the road. In fact cyclists in general - if I could fit machine guns to my Mini I would.
eBay
Ryanair
Road works with nobody working, for days on end.
Packaging on tooth brushes, in fact packaging in general.
Fees - booking fee, arrangement fee, entrance fee - it’s just another way of ripping you off and irritating the shit out of decent ppl.
Mobile speed camera vans - another good reasons to fit machine guns to my jam jar.
Lorries blocking two lanes of the motorway doing 55 mph.
Gatwick Airport
My 16 daughter - love her to bits but sometimes I could strangle her.
Trades men who don’t turn up.
There are loads more - I definitely think I’m turning into Victor Meldew.

“Can I get.” It’s “please may I have” you absolute fucking OAF.

People who interrupt.

Snooze alarms, in particular DP’s.

Yes yes yes to “a coffee”. It triggers a deep primordial rage.

Dogs, generally, and dog poo, obviously, but especially dogs on those ridiculously long leads that trail everywhere and get underneath your feet and the dog is pissing on my front gate or wandering up my path or something and the dopey owner is miles away.

People walking backwards: you know, they’re saying goodbye to their mates or something but setting off at the same time so they’re walking towards you but looking backwards over their shoulder. So the onus is on you, walking normally, to avoid them, but somehow they always manage to smash into you AND act as though it’s your fault.

Loud sneezing and yes you can help it.

People who catch you with the baby in the sling doing the sling dance and you gesture and whisper “He’s tired” or “Just getting him off to sleep” and they stick their stupid faces in his and wind him up.

Stickers on the soles of shoes.

Moses as short for Moses basket.

”He loves his food” – ugh. Your baby can love food. The food in front of him may be his. But for the love of Christ just say he loves food, why must it be “his food”?!

I hate this too! When I worked in retail, there was a customer who said my name at the end of every sentence and it made me so uncomfortable!

When people write long posts on here and doesn't use paragraphs 😬

... and don't use paragraphs (stupid auto correct) 🫥

Most people.
Sniffing.
Coughing.
Kids bouncing balls repeatedly.

Could of/ Must of….
Saying supper.

You should try this… Must do this… Can’t believe you don’t have….

Sniffing….. it makes me want to dig a hole for said person under my patio.

People not replying to whatsapp group messages when social plans organised. Just say No!

Play Out is an activity, having that name since I was a kid in the 60s.
Maybe colloquial? Like tea for the evening meal?

When you're eating / talking to another person and someone suggests asks you a question

People who don't indicate on roundabouts.
Parents parked waiting for their kid after school with the engine running for Aircon.
People who do not park their supermarket trolley tidily.
Americanisation of English eg Gen Zee, "I know, right", "100%"

Threads like these which just bring out bile in people and eventually some idiot wishes cyclists dead, nasty and unpleasant