Things that irritate you

[Lightroot]

I know these threads get done a lot but I’m feeling irritable so here are mine (they’re not all rational, I admit)

People saying ‘myself’ and ‘yourself’ instead of me and you in an attempt to sound professional.

People starting posts with, for example, ‘dentist here’ or ‘solicitor here’ before giving their opinion. It just sounds really smug.

’good’ anything, eg ‘good butter’, ‘good bread’, ‘good chocolate’. Again so smug.

’crusty bread’ eg “serve with crusty bread and good butter” ARRGGH

The word ‘meal’ eg “I had just finished my meal”. I don’t know why. It just irritates me.

Groups of people standing chatting in the middle of the pavement or supermarket aisle not aware or giving a shit that they’re blocking it.

People talking through long yawns. Just yawn then talk ffs

Ridiculously loud exaggerated sneezes. In my experience almost always men.

The hapless husband who never goes shopping, traipsing behind the wife at dawdle pace and getting in my way in every bloody aisle.

My job- and in particular one colleague who like to think he’s my boss. He isn’t but he likes to pretend he is. He’s such a shit stirring time waster.

The word “Portion”. My DP says “I’ll have a portion of chips” and I shrivel up inside. See also “helping”.

And totally agree with @Frania on the food thing: “we went for food”…arggggggh.

Finally (sooo not finally), calling McDonalds “Maccy Ds”. They’re a giant corporate machine, not your best mate 😡

@AllThatTwitters Oh yes, ‘portion’ is HORRIBLE

I can't stand when people say / write 'me thinks'... it just makes you sound like you're learning to speak basic English!

So many. People who LIKE something, refusing to believe/ accept that others don't. "You MUST like ice cream! It's just you haven't tried - insert their choice here" or "isn't the weather lovely? What do you mean you don't like the heat?! We hardly get it, so you can't moan!!".

People who are snobs about what they like- "oh you're not a real gamer if you dont xyz " or "you don't really like sushi if you've like yo sushi"

People who present their likes as niche- "I like - insert perfectly average pass time here- often larping/ fishing/ fencing- you wouldn't have heard about it/ understand it"

Urgh.

"full fat coke"

IT'S JUST "COKE"

Trainer socks that roll down and end up under your feet.

Overly polite drivers. If you have the right of way, take it. You're just confusing people.

This one gets me every single time.

People who say "I brought this at the shop" NO HELEN, you BOUGHT IT!

Loud exhausts In cars 😭 cannot stand it

'Tea' as in dinner. Sounds so wishy washy and dated. Tea is a hot drink!

'Family money '

'That's a no from me'

'In our house...'

'Picky bits/tea'

'Chippy tea'

'Supper' sound pretentious

'Just ask him' when suspicious of an affair - like he will just confess!

'His face will tell you all you need to know'

'Cryptic Facebook posts followed by 'what's up chick?' And inevitably the poster writes 'I'll inbox you hun, people are too nosey on here'

''You're smashing it'

'My truth'

'My DH would never do that.. because he told me, and I believe him'

'Tea' as in dinner. Sounds so wishy washy and dated. Tea is a hot drink!

'Family money '

'That's a no from me'

'In our house...'

'Picky bits/tea'

'Chippy tea'

'Supper' sound pretentious

'Just ask him' when suspicious of an affair - like he will just confess!

'His face will tell you all you need to know'

'Cryptic Facebook posts followed by 'what's up chick?' And inevitably the poster writes 'I'll inbox you hun, people are too nosey on here'

''You're smashing it'

'My truth'

'My DH would never do that.. because he told me, and I believe him'

David Attenborough.
Look up the word 'smug' in a dictionary and there'll be a picture of him right there
A smug, lecturing arrogant rich git.
No idea of what everyday people's priories are - like paying bills!!!

Without people who say 'methinks' when do we get to take the piss by asking 'and dost thou cometh from the sixteenth century, mate?'

'Tea' as in dinner. Sounds so wishy washy and dated. Tea is a hot drink!

You are going to shit a brick when you find out about existence of The North

“Making memories”

@SweetNaffAll - Yes! Cryptic Facebook posts, especially when someone tags themselves into a hospital so that people will be all "omg, what happened ?" to which the response is almost always "Ill PM you"

Oh fuck off and get a life!

People who say pacific not specific

People who say expresso not espresso

People who say their partner is their ‘partner in crime’ or they are marrying their ‘best friend’ gross

People who dont underhand what the flu is. ‘Oh I had a bit of the flu at the weekend’ about a 24 virus or cold. ‘Oh I’ve had flu 4 times this year’ no you fucking haven’t

Bloody hate the exaggerated sneezing

Oh so many.

’Human’ as in, ‘you’re a good human.’ Just say person.

When you stop to let someone pass by on the street and they don’t acknowledge it at all.

People who stop randomly in the middle of the street/top of escalator/in shop doorways.

Curated/sourced anything, unless it’s actually your job somehow. You didn’t source your furniture- you looked online FFS or went to the shops.

There are many more!

I dated a northerner! I get it's a saying.. I just hate it!

Oh, and ‘living my best life’ or any variation of.

Exactly! Either tell us or don't bother posting 🤷

"Gosh" it's one word I refuse to believe anyone says in real life..
It just annoys the fuck out of me.
American's claiming Irish heritage when it's their dogs cousin twice removed.
No just no

Incorrect use of "A" and "An"
Over and incorrect use of "like" in both speach and text
Overuse of "Quotation marks"
Eating noises
Mouth Breathers
People with an inflated sense of importance
Experts - that are rarely that
People who rant about subjects in a proportedly informed way, whem in reality they are largely ignorant of anything but the most basic of facts
Lastly
People who dont wave to say thanks when you let them out of a junction 😁

And how could I forget life hacks that are just plain common sence 😠