Range Rover twat or was I unreasonable? (With diagram)

[TheProcrastinati]

attached obligatory diagram to try to explain what happened today.

I was cycling up a road where if there are cars parked on both sides, there is only room for one car to get through.

On this particular road, the right hand side was completely full but there was only one car parked in the left (the blue one).

I (green) initially pulled behind the yellow car who had stopped. I then realised that he had stopped because the red car - the Range Rover - was stopped in the middle of road chatting to guy in blue car (both in their cars). I waited for a bit and the Range Rover showed no sign of moving, so I thought I’ll try to squeeze between them. So I followed dotted green line but when I got close to the red and blue car it was a bit tight so I dinged my bell as if the RR moved slightly to his left I could get past. But he just looked at me, smirked then edged forward making it more difficult. Pathetic really.

so I decided just to squeeze past anyway and when passing his window and having noticed there were kids in the back of the car I said “your dad’s a twat” and cycled off. He exploded and shouted “you cunt, you fucking cunt!”

now I know it’s foolish to incur the wrath of an Angry Man as he could have hurt me. And I know that I shouldn’t have said a naughty word in front of the kids but I absolutely loved his reaction! I felt like I’d stood up to him and he was utterly enraged I hadn’t cowtowed to him.

but should I just have waited until he finished his conversation?

but I want to see what the MN consensus is - AIBU?

I'm with you Op - he needed challenging and you did it in the way you felt most comfortable, so well done.

It's not your job to set an example for his kids - that's on him. Given the shit job he's doing so far, I'm not hopeful they won't be dicks themselves, however they may sometimes think twice given they know there are people who will challenge dickhead behaviour!

Well maybe if people don't use their children as human shields to behave like anti social arseholes, they won't be confused and upset.

You coulda told the kids that the size of their dads car was inversely proportional to the size of his manhood

Amazing. You're my hero. He deserved it for smirking at you and then inching forward. What an idiot.

The children were likely oblivious that anything was going on until the OP brought them into it. The children already have to either live with or have visitation with this man, no need to add to that.

@EmeraldFox - my dad was a twat. On the odd occasion anyone called him out on it, I found it was vindicating and refreshing. I wish it had happened more often

Well, their dad is a twat. They either already know or need to know.

YANBU.

You don't know how another child might take it though. DS's father was a twat and may have done something like this man, then reacted the same way. DS gets anxious with confrontation and it likely would have upset him to have a stranger say that directly to him, involving him, if the OP had just said 'You're a twat' at the man then that would have been different.

Seems reasonable to me.

Given his reply, he obviously wasn't worried about his kids hearing some choice language.

No I don't @EmeraldFox butI can't see much difference in it's impact on a child (remember I was the child - you're talking from the POV of the parent) in someone saying 'you're a twat' and 'your dad's a twat'.

Honestly wouldn't have had any different effect on me.

OP, do you think that you saying what you did had had any effect at all? Do you think it will make the driver think about what he did or influence how he behaves? I think it was totally pointless saying anything. Being sassy to him will make him think even less of cyclist and women drivers.

@Clymene But you said you would have found it vindicating, which is different. A child who doesn't like confrontation would not want to be brought into it themselves. I was similar to my DS as a child, I'd have wanted to disappear in that moment, I might not have realised anything had triggered the confrontation and been confused.

I think it's wrong to bring children into it when they haven't done anything to deserve it. Speak to the person you have the problem with.

I was on the fence but your subsequent posts have persuaded me - I love you. 'Zone of profanity' is genius.

I wouldn't be hand wringing like some posters about the poor little traumatised children. If their dear old da was prepared to shout that sort of profanity in front of them, they're probably used to it. He could have just said 'Sorry you had to hear that from the nasty lady darlings.' Then he would have been setting a good example to his own children, in how not to be an angry man.

Excellent work on the diagrams.

I fail to see what you have achieved here? he is a twat, he is aggressive and will use the word cunt in front of his or someone else's children, children who will take their dads side and hate cyclists too.... you calling him a twat wont change him.

He will just take out his anger on the next cyclist he comes across.... probably with a close hi speed pass, which doubtless his kids will think is "funny" too

If he's calling female strangers, cunts, infront of his kids, I dread to think what he calls his wife infront of them, I'm sure they've heard it all, poor kids

You produced two beautiful diagrams, therefore you cannot be considered to be unreasonable for any reason.

The angry man deserved to be called out on his behaviour, however your choice of word and directing it at the DC wasn't great. But I understand your anger.

Poor souls exposed to the word twat coming from a household where the strongest word was silly billy. They'll be so damaged by the OP.

Or possibly they are regularly exposed to their father being an inconsiderate twat and his aggressive behaviour. Meaning reactions to him are is normal so it's water off a duck's back. Unpleasant water but thats caused by their father.

Mind you, also need to consider the likelihood the children had headphones on and were looking at phones or tablets and heard nothing.

You’re defending yourself as if you called him out on his actions. If you called him out you would have called him a twat (which would have been fair enough and the children would likely have still asked about it). Instead you dragged the kids into it. They’re probably wondering why you spoke to them, why you brought them in to it, instead of calling out the bloke directly.

How old ish were the kids in question?

Animaginarycat, hearing their father be abusive is never water off a ducks back, more the opposite I would say, it will seep into their psyches and be part of what molds them

I think you were in the right. Hope he crashes the fucking range rover and gets an astrometrical repair bill.

I don't.
~Between this kind of behaviour, and "MAMILs" disproportionate sense of entitlement, no wonder some of the drivers who are less than tolerant in the first place extrapolate stupid behaviour to include everyone on a bike!
Cars ARE bigger, no matter what; just get out of the way sensibly and safely.

Thanks for nothing.

Great retort..

@LatteOneShotplease as a cyclist I will not simply kowtow and "get out of the way". There are rules of the road and they apply to all road users.

I recently made a minicab reverse when I was on my Brompton because he was being a dick.

Similar situation - narrow road, parked cars taking it down to one lane. Parked cars were on minicabs side of the road.

I was on the un obstructed side and had already started passing the first of the parked cars but Mr "Oh I"m so Important" decided to drive towards be. So I stopped. And he stopped. And I refused to back up (after all bikes don't have a reverse gear) and his male passenger told me to get out of the way as he just wanted to get home.

To which i replied so did I. But I wasn't the person who had deliberately started to overtake when the road wasn't clear.

Minicab reversed.

And I did wonder how much of this was anti-cyclist and how much of it was misogyny. Would both the driver and passenger have taken the same tone to my 6 foot 4 inch brother on his "masculine" black bike.

I thought not.