I have a friend who I have known since high school. We never even hung around with each other all that often in high school but after leaving school would go the odd night out/lunch together and text every few weeks due to us working in the same place.
we haven’t seen each other for 5 years. We now text maybe once/twice a year- to wish each other happy birthday normally. We live 10/15 mins drive from each others homes. We haven’t been in each others current homes, I’ve never met her partner, she hasn’t met three of my children. This all obviously through choice as geography etc isn’t an issue. There is nothing stopping us seeing one another, we just haven’t thought to as we aren’t very close.
She got engaged recently and I wished her congratulations on her Facebook post. She immediately messaged me and asked me to be maid of honour. I didn’t know what to say, so I haven’t actually said yes or no. I was very taken aback as she has sisters, female cousins, friends etc. she said she doesn’t feel close enough to them to ask them. She has also began to message me saying about a hen night which she is planning to have abroad. Bridesmaid dress colours etc.
Im not saying much at all and feel very awkward as I really don’t want to be involved. To be perfectly honest I would have been surprised to have had a wedding invite nevermind a role in the wedding. I really don’t want to have to go abroad for a hen do- I have a lot of financial priorities of my own just now (5 young kids, Disney trip we are paying off while I’m on maternity leave, planned to get a second car etc). So I really can’t justify it when it’s for someone I never actually speak to.
My mum and other friends say I need to go along with it as it’ll hurt her feelings but I feel that the hen do alone is a huge undertaking. I’ve only ever left my children overnight for one evening away with my husband and to work nights. The thought of leaving them for a long weekend to go get drunk with a load of strangers and a girl I last saw 2 years before covid, just doesn’t sit right with me.
but I can’t think of a nice way to ease myself out of the situation. Am I just a horrible person for feeling uncomfortable with this?