To think truly good friends don't exist?

[polon]

Or they're extremely rare?

I've had three best friends over the course of my life, two ended up treating me terribly and the third (my longest friend, god mother of my child and who I thought would always be there) is now showing to be pretty crap.

I am always there and doing my best to help friends during their time of need, but I never receive the same. Ever.

Most friends I have to contact first to meet up or make plans. I've been betrayed countless times. I have no problems making friends and several have been around for years.

I do have friends (I suppose), they're just shit. And always have been. On the days I don't have my son, I spend them alone and I've become quite lonely.

How do people find good, decent friends? And AIBU to think they're a rarity?

I had the same group of close friends from school up until my late 20's, in our early twenties they all started getting married and having children and one by one our friendships fell by the wayside and I hardly saw them any more. I moved away from the area for a few years and then returned, I did try my best to reconnect and spend time with them but things just weren't the same any more. I got bored of sitting around listening to them reminiscing about all the fun we USED to have back in "the good old days" when they could never be bothered to go and have some more fun or do anything nice. We'd arrange to go out for a meal or to the cinema etc and they'd always cancel last minute using their children/husbands as an excuse. I stopped bothering to try, I haven't fallen out with anyone but I very rarely hear from them now, maybe a happy birthday on FB!

I think they were happy to be friends when they needed friends to go out with and once they had their families they didn't need their friends any more.

OP, why not see if you have any Meetups or groups near you on the day you don't have your son? Walking, exercise, book clubs, volunteering? You won't make close friends at first but at least you will have company and won't brood?I do think pp who said friends are people you enjoy time with has a point.