Things you wish existed?

[Cellocecilia]

AIBU to think these items/things must exist? And if not what things do you wish existed? (You never know a fellow MNer might know how to get hold of it and reply)

a device that standardizes TV volume, currently sat here watching love island whilst DD naps on me, the volume of 90% of the program is barely audible but the intro music every time it’s back from a break could wake the dead. Not helping keeping DD asleep! Same happens on other programs, talking is quiet but gun shots, someone’s phone ringing is so loud.

A baby monitor that you can program to know your child’s cries/noises, for example DD has started being very vocal in her sleep, mainly talking to herself self settling, but due to it being loud noise the monitor goes off. I’d like to be able to record her sounds and program a monitor to know ‘x sound is fine don’t alert’ ‘y noise is crying, alert me’

Baby mittens that stay the fuck on their hands

Totally agree about tv volume- can never understand why the adds blare but I can barely hear the show!!!

I would like someone to invent a way to easily direct flies out of my house. They seem to get in the tiniest crack in a window and then I have to spend half an hour whooshing them out an open door they are unable to locate…

Something that can translate teen text - 'alright' as an answer seems to mean anything from 'great' to 'hell' which doesn't become clear, until often hours later!

A teleportation device.

Just imagine never having to sit in traffic, wait for buses or trains, hang about for hours in airports before cramming yourself into a cramped, stuffy plane.

Of course, it would have to teleport your luggage, too.

A non-addictive sleeping tablet that works as well as Temazepam or Zopiclone.

Ghosts
Fairies
Space travel
Undiscovered places

A pill for the hair colour of your choice.

Virtual reality headsets where you can eat virtual food that feels and tastes like the real thing but obviously without the calories.
You could arrange to meet friends for a virtual meal out or coffee and cake and feel as if you really went.

An off switch for 3 year olds. She’s absolutely delightful and I’m very lucky but she doesn’t stop talking from dawn until dusk. It’s relentless.

A form of exercise that doesn’t make me out of breath or hurt.

An alternative to suncream, like a tablet or vaccine. I’m fecking sick of applying it (currently on hol).

Unicorns!

The village to help raise my kids.

A gadget that would enable you to send calming and gently quietening messages at a pitch only heard by neighbour's dogs.

Dungarees with a quick release button for quick loo visits.

A robot vac that works on stairs .
It would look like a wide slinky that can suck from both ends

Silent portable air con. Can't have it properly fitted for numerous reasons so I have a couple of portable units and they're really loud. I put up with the noise as I can't bear to be hot but a silent (or near silent one) would be amazing. Its hot here today so it's on my mind!

A robotic type cooker where you just throw in ingredients and it can make literally anything. I do use things like a slow cooker etc. But there's so many meals I'd love to have made for me.

A clone of me! My work are always short staffed and if I could have another one of me out working I'd have no financial issues! Also I could get the clone to do all the housework. Actually they could cook too so maybe I wouldn't need the robotic cooker 😁

Have you tried Trazodone?

Peace of mind

The number 5 bus which has been cancelled again.

What, like a self cleaning house?
REALLY never understood why Samantha on Bewitched insisted on doing housework. Showing my age there. Sigh.

The MN self cleaning toilet (no brush required)
The MN DH. (He of the 6 figure salary and 6' 2" gorgeousness, who does 50% of all chores and will still be running marathons at 85.)
The MN everlasting chicken.
The MN massive salad that fills you up all day for zero calories.

Foam ear surrounds. I get neuralgia if I put pressure on my ear - but I'm a side sleeper, so I would like something to take the pressure off the ear. It needs to go around the ear, so I can't use headphone thingies as they go ON the ear not around it.

@LindorDoubleChoc have you tried amitrytiline for sleep. It's available off label.

Non alcoholic wine that tastes like wine.
Non alcoholic gin that tastes like gin.

Self emptying and cleaning litter trays.

A chat bot identical to me to listen to my mother. "Oh really" "how sad" "uh huh" "what did the Dr say".

An Undo button for everyday events like swearing at boss, kissing your ex, eating chocolate...

Google ear piercing donut pillow

An alarm that goes off when it starts raining and your washing is out. I know, look out the window duh… but for when you are busy doing something else you don’t always have time to look out the window to catch the exact moment it starts to spit. 9 times out of 10 by the time I notice my washing is already wet 😭😂

Cure for autism (it is a definite disability to my oldest DS rather than any positive slant on it. Cure for coeliac disease - I really miss spontaneity around food and just being able to go somewhere without worrying about what I will eat. Self cleaning house - obviously. Magic chest like in Ben and Holly - no more worries about running out of anything. Time travel because it would be very cool.

Sun cream booths. Birthday party today for my son, if you hire a booth that sprayed you with a mist of suncream it would be amazing. I must have had to use suncream on at least 15 children today, absolute nightmare.