Scared of wearing summer clothes

[fedupmumof2]

I’m trying to change my life and feel very low in confidence and self esteem. You all were so lovely when I reached out before to say how I was feeling depressed.

Could I please get some advice on this: I want to start wearing summer dresses. I actually wear dresses in winter with tights or leggings but in summer I don’t. I feel worried incase my dress is see-through or if it blows up in the wind (I know this might sound strange). My confidence is very low. Can I ask advice on how I can wear dresses and not worry about this? I was wondering if I could possibly wear cycling shirts under or would that look strange?

I put in a lovely dress this morning and even my toddler said how lovely I look! But my confidence is so knocked I took it off and out my jeans on again. I live in jeans and leggings.

You can buy some lovely midi dresses with higher necks which are still floaty and summery. Maybe try something like that? I am very self conscious about cleavage in summer and either buy higher necks or take up straps on tops. No idea why it bothers me so much 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shorts are really hot, I would just wear a slip.

What a brilliant and life affirming post! It is perfect.

Just to add Big Bloomers Company do fabulous shorts for under dresses. They are lightweight and well fitting without being tight.

I got something like these:

Crazy Chick® Women's Cotton Cycling Shorts - Ladies Yoga Gym Workout Running Cycling Sports Shorts Stretchy 1/2 Length Legging Plus Size 8-30 https://amzn.eu/d/3FNRP8l

I actually wear them in winter under trousers too, to keep warm!

Cycling shorts under a dress?

Lycra?

Surely that defeats the whole point of being cool?

Choose a style that doesn't blow up. Or if it's really windy day, don't wear a dress if you are going outside and worried about it blowing up!

If it's a long dress, it won't blow up anyway. Only minis would do that!

Most people, really? I just wear knickers and maybe tights. No way would I want shorts as well on a hot day.

Uniqlo airism underwear is good. They do pants, vests and slips.

I always wear a cotton cami vest under tops and dresses all year round to help them hang better and avoid see throughness. In the summer the light airism vests are great. They are also sweat wicking so you don't get back or boob sweat on your top!

This.

I have one in white, one in black and they make your dresses sit much better.

Can’t imagine wearing cycling shorts in hot weather.

I also vote for the snag tights chub rub shorts that have a cooling affect, so much cooler and more comfortable for the hot weather than some materials

I'm with you on this OP. I struggle with wearing 'nice' or 'pretty' things, painting my nails or wearing obvious make up. Anything that makes me feel like I'm 'standing out' makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

Do you think when your toddler told you the you looked lovely in your dress that it made you feel uncomfortable and a bit freaked out? With your low self esteem and low confidence, you may not be used to hearing compliments.

Worries about your dress blowing up or being see through could your subconscious trying to protect yourself from being 'seen' or feeling/looking nice.

Think back to your childhood and the messages about appearance that you may have received from patents/siblings/friends/relatives etc.

When I was a child I wasn't really allowed pretty clothes. My wardrobe consisted mainly of hand me downs from siblings and cousins. I clearly remember the 70s brown cords that had gone a bit crusty 😂, and my DM often telling me "it's not a fashion parade". I was desperate for a lovely dress, or some really pretty shoes. Compliments on appearance were rare, and effort with appearance was frowned upon.

So today, I'm going to wear a dress, and not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. I'm telling myself "it's only a dress", I'm going to put it on, get on with my day and forget about it. In a neutral sort of a way.

Another vote for M&S waist slips. You can get them in many lengths from mini to almost ankle length.

I've white, nude and black. I wear them under winter wool dresses, or summer dresses and skirts.

Dresses that are blow the knee won't blow up OP, unless they have a very flouncy skirt, so choose longer ones.

The Royals have tiny metal weights sewn into the hems of their dresses to stop the blowing up experience!

I either wear loose, long bright coloured cotton dresses with a slip, or loose linen trousers with a t-shirt. Seems to cover most eventualities.

@CherryogDog -I think yes completely different now .
Many, many posters rave about https://snagtights.com/collections/chub-rub-shorts

I second the votes for M&S cool comfort slips (cover my modesty when wearing dresses with deep V necks) and Snag chub rub shorts (hate the name but they work!).
Tend to wear either maxi dresses or knee length cotton ones that don't tend to blow. Gave up with wrap dresses as was spending all the time wearing them stressing about the split blowing apart plus holding my hand in non-natural positions to keep it shut!

You mention self confidence, is it that you want to learn not to care if your legs and knickers or stomach show or is it that you want practical fashion advice?

It's not obligatory to wear dresses in summer, you could try longer skirts,

I wear cycling shorts under mine as I'm always running for a bus / on the floor with kids / etc

Toddlers are known for giving undue compliments so I'm sure you looked fab.
Wear whatever makes you feel good, comfortable, or happy.

You sound like a lovely person and that really IS what matters ❣️

Are NOT* known!

Do the shorts thing. But also wear a dress to the corner shop, posting a letter, 10 minute walk. Build up the confidence.

And buy summer dresses in good quality materials if you can, high street summer dresses like hm ect tend to be in a very light slippery polyester type material that’s a bit flimsy. I know not everyone can afford higher price points but if it’s something you’re working about, a linen dress can be just as cool but a slightly heavier material. You can find some good ones with pockets.

Best of luck :)

I am sat here in a dress with cycling shorts underneath, most women do. Please wear your lovely dress

Thanks for this thread, been very informative!

is it worth paying more money for the Chub Rub ones? (I hate paying for postage too!).

I meant the snag ones.

There is nothing strange with your worries at all. You could try the non floaty fabrics or a mermaid dress. Those styles won’t be blown up by wind easily. Since you wear jeans all the time, maybe you can start in with light denim dress. They definitely won’t be see through or blown up.

I've put a dress on today just for messing around at home in order to build up my confidence to wear it out! I've got snag chub rubs on underneath.

It’s absolutely no true that “most” women wear shorts under a dress. I don’t know anyone who does or ever has.

I get the point of shorts if you are a larger lady and your thighs rub, but for everyone else they’re completely unnecessary and hot!

I wear dresses all summer long, the sheer ones I wear slip underneath, but you don’t need that under linen.

If you’re really worried about your dress blowing up then wear some shorts style cotton briefs - much less hot.

The cycling shorts is a good idea - a friend I met for lunch the other day was wearing them as she felt her dress was on the short side.
You could wear longer dress - midi or maxi still in fashion. A heavier weight fabric and the wind won't be an issue.