Sick and have 18m old alone for the weekend.

[NatMoz]

I'm really ill, struggling to get out of bed ill.

My husband is going to his dad's stag do this weekend, he is also provided all camping equipment for his brother (tent, sleeping bag etc) as he lives abroad. He has suggested to not go but it would mean letting people down and i would feel very guilty about this. It is 3 hours away. My parents have no plans this weekend and they always told me that they would help in emergencies.

My mum has this story about how she was very ill and had to look after 2 children as my grandma (dad's mum) refused to help and how awful it was being sick and in that position.

I spoke to my parents and they are refusing to help me this weekend to look after my daughter as they don't want to get sick (ok fair enough) but i reminded my mum about her tale and she said 'well that was 2 children and you have a husband' (my mum has been married to my dad nearly 40 years so she was not husbandless either!).

Not sure how rational people in AIBU are but give me your thoughts.

I don't think i will get help this weekend and my mum practically laughed at me.

I feel lucky that I know my mum would be there in a heart beat (any kind of bug inc vomiting), she’s done this twice for me. Once I went to her house with DH and DS and had taken our local vom bug with us. DS was 12 months and sick every hour all night all over their spare room. Then I was sick all the next day. My mum put all the sheets in the bath, washing machine on etc.

I hate sick bugs so I almost understand your parents wanting to stay away but also feel very sorry for you because it’s comforting to have a parent who always has your back.

agree with PPs you will manage, just do iPad, snacks, lie down lots

Hope you feel better soon OP. Tbh we've never had help with childcare and I'm always jealous of people who have parents they can rely on to help - so I totally get why it hurts.

I think in your position I'd ask dh just to go for one day maybe? Not drink so he can drive back? Some kind of compromise.

I can't stand the 'well I had 23 newborns and cut my own leg off with a rusty saw and managed' . It's ok to find things hard and it's ok to say so. It's also ok to ask for help.

Little Mermaid or something age appropriate. Bump up the screen time - needs must! Hope you feel better soon

I don’t at all agree with pps that you will be fine and get through it, as it’s not clear. If you can’t get out of bed you can’t change a nappy or make food for a toddler. I hope that if you can’t look after your toddler you’ve told your dh this and they have stayed like they offered to.

This!
Sorry people have been quite harsh when you feel unwell op.
Would they or some friends be willing to at least come over and push her round the shops/park in her buggy for an hour?
It would fill a bit of time, give you a nap and they wouldn't be massively at risk of catching it from that.
Or could you try childcare.co.U.K. To see if an emergancy babysitter would entertain her downstairs whilst you slept upstairs?

You might start to feel better as the weekend goes on though so fingers crossed.

I'm sorry you're feeling so unwell op. Some of these responses are really unkind. I think if you're no better then your husband should stay at home or leave the party early, not drink (as pp said). I wouldn't go off on a hen party if my husband was too sick to get out of bed, at least not in the way I had originally intended to.

I like the idea of someone taking the toddler for a good long walk while you just sleep.

My youngest is a similar age to yours and there is absolutely no way I would be able to tell her that I wasn't well and that she needed to lie beside me on the sofa and watch TV. She wants to pull the contents from drawers, climb up and down off the sofa over and over, lose the same toy down the back of the armchair and need me to get it a million times over and generally all the things that require active supervision. If my kid liked screen time, I'd use it a lot more!

Shitty situation op, I really feel for you.

Your parents should at least come round for the day for a while

I can't stand the 'well I had 23 newborns and cut my own leg off with a rusty saw and managed' . It's ok to find things hard and it's ok to say so. It's also ok to ask for help.

^

This. Absolutely ridiculous.

If you’re too sick to look after your child, you’re too sick. It’s a shame but your husband needs to stay home. It happens when you have kids.

No idea why people keep referencing single parents. You aren’t one. It’s in no way relevant. You have another parent in your home who can take over and should.

Yes in an normal everyday situation, Howe re this is a special weekend planned..

There is also the case to consider that you can push yourself and do this??
What a lot of other posters are politely trying to say... your choice

Imagine actually writing that you don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who says they are too sick to get out of bed. It's not like she has a hangover from too many cocktails on a work night. Maybe she isn't a single mother but she still has a dilemma.

Have you got a travel cot or anything? I think I'd try putting her in a travel cot with some toys and Disney or tv on so you can nap on and off (I know you said she doesn't watch TV but it's worth a try).

Failing that crack out a device with kids YouTube on it and lie in bed together.

It is rubbish, my mum has done this to us with visiting as she thought our kids had chicken pox (tried telling her DC had heat rash 🤣 with flu) but you have to respect their choice. Is your partner going the whole weekend? Maybe he can go for a day and then come home? Good luck.

It's rubbish, but you have to just suck it up unfortunately. How do you think single parents cope.

We've all had to struggle therefore everyone forever more must too!!!

I think it's probably easy to say, but if I don't have a job when I'm a grandparent (don't know if your mum works or anything) but I will happily be risking bugs to be able to help out with grandchildren. If she is retired and in good health, what does it matter if she ends up with the bug if she can really help her daughter out!

My mum would have helped me, she did many times when my dc were small, she even came and cooked Christmas dinner one year when dh and I had flu (and even helped build playmobil), she’s also helped when I have had a sickness bug as she knows how scared I am of being sick.

There have been times where I have been unwell or have been recovering from surgery and no one’s been able to help, I have been a single parent for the last 8 years so my dc had to get used to entertaining themselves when I am really unwell, it’s not easy but just focus on getting through the day in anyway possible even if it means feeding them biscuits all day and sticking them infront of the tv or a iPad 😬.

Pop him in the high chair for a little while in front of the tv with a few toys on his tray. Not ideal but it might give you chance to lie on the sofa for half an hour. It's horrible

How are things OP?