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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is hayfever really that bad?

113 replies

kungfudumpling · 08/06/2023 21:57

DH gets hayfever. Every year he's a mess for the whole of June. Constant complaining, loud nose blowing, groaning noises and takes three showers a day. As a non-sufferer, I find it really hard to be sympathetic. In fact I give him no sympathy because it irritates me that he makes such a big fuss about it, especially because it doesn't seem to stop him playing golf (ie deliberately spending 4 hours surrounded by the thing he's allergic to).

Is hayfever really as bad as he makes out? AIBU not to be nicer to him?

OP posts:
MinionsHooray · 08/06/2023 22:33

OP I don’t have hay fever, neither does our kids and non of my family have it either.

My partner does and I also get annoyed by his constant moaning and sniffling. It’s really hard to be sympathetic when it just goes on and on and it’s year after year.

Maddy70 · 08/06/2023 22:34

It's really horrible. Had he considered the anti history injection? Many pharmacies offer it

Otarge · 08/06/2023 22:35

Agree with a pp saying that a golf course (where grasses are necessarily under control) may be one of the better places for him. It depends on what he's allergic to but most people aren't allergic to short well maintained grass.

It's this fucking no - mow May that causes havoc for grass allergic people - once it gets high enough to seed, you're fucked. And it's everywhere now! Really, these past two years have been horrible for it. It's worse in city centres where you have the combination of pollen+ pollution. I'm sure all the people who live in city centres think they're doing the right thing by "rewilding" their postage stamp sized gardens but when they let them go to seed it's a massive problem.

RoseslnTheHospital · 08/06/2023 22:36

MinionsHooray · 08/06/2023 22:33

OP I don’t have hay fever, neither does our kids and non of my family have it either.

My partner does and I also get annoyed by his constant moaning and sniffling. It’s really hard to be sympathetic when it just goes on and on and it’s year after year.

Why? Do you think your partner is exaggerating, or making up symptoms for attention? Do you think he wants to get hay fever every year??

And of course it goes on and on, year after year.... because plants produce pollen every year, and there's no single one-off effective cure for hay fever!

MonkeyDoodles · 08/06/2023 22:37

Mine has been awful this year. Itchy eyes, constant running nose, itchy throat. It's horrendous.

fucktonofcats · 08/06/2023 22:37

It varies. Some years, it's OK; other years, it's bloody awful.

I'm having a horrid time of it at the moment. It's even worse this time because hayfever symptoms and Covid symptoms have a lot of overlap, which is making it tricky to figure out when/if I'm able to visit CEV friends/relatives.

Covid tests when your nose keeps streaming are very difficult to do...

Cello60 · 08/06/2023 22:39

when I used to get it really badly, the worst thing, worse than the itchiness inside (weird!) etc., was the constant fog and feeling tired and stupid and unable to do my job from May until August

BarelyLiterate · 08/06/2023 22:39

I’ve had hay fever all my life, along with several other allergies eg cats & horses. Allergies are a PITA. They make you feel crap. Not just the runny nose, itchy eyes etc, but my nose is blocked so I can’t smell anything, my inner ears become inflamed, sore & blocked and I feel generally knackered & lethargic.
All you can do is find an antihistamine which works for you & doesn’t make you drowsy, try to avoid your triggers (and people who have been in contact with your triggers) as much as possible & get on with life.

Rightnowstraightaway · 08/06/2023 22:40

There was a girl at school whose whole face would swell up, and she could hardly see because her eyes puffed shut. Red and itchy looking. It looked horrendous.

sonjadog · 08/06/2023 22:42

I have had the pollen allergy vaccine. It was quite tough treatment to have over several years, but it has made a huge improvement for me. Now in pollen season I only need one tablet a day and a little more use of my inhaler than normal. The only symptoms that haven’t improved are the crushing fatigue and irritability.

Throwingpots · 08/06/2023 22:42

So glad I don’t get it anymore, suffered from about the age of 6 till about 10 years ago. At its worst I’d want to just stand under the shower and not come out. Commuting up to London for work was torture, I just wanted to crawl into a dark windowless room. As for trying to sit exams in the summer, I genuinely think I’d have achieved much higher grades had they been sat in the winter. It’s this overwhelming feeling of everything itching and swelling, to the point of wanting to scratch from the inside out. And feeling so unbelievably tired.
so in answer to your question, yes, it’s pretty bloody awful.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 08/06/2023 22:43

I have it terribly. Luckily there are now very effective anti histamines which I take daily, March to Sept.
If I forget or run out my eyes stream I sneeze constantly and wheeze.
I think being allergic to your own environment is a bit of a flawed system personally.

Lemoncurdslice · 08/06/2023 22:44

If it’s well controlled with meds then not too bad but if it gets a grip on you it’s just awful. Way worse than a cold although that’s how it looks to others. Horrendous itching and awful tiredness.

Confrontayshunme · 08/06/2023 22:45

The children in my reception class counted my sneezes today for fun, but they had to stop as we have only learned up to 50 so far. And I washed my face and arms in the sink after every play time. One little boy finally brought me a wet paper towel to rub my eyes! It is TERRIBLE.😫

InAFettle · 08/06/2023 22:55

It might just seem like a cold but it’s completely different and literally so energy draining. I always feel knackard when my hayfever is really bad. I feel dizzy and lightheaded, it’s awful.

Goodyetalso · 08/06/2023 22:55

It’s truly horrible and is debilitating. I would think it’s really difficult to imagine unless you’ve had it but trust me, it’s miserable. It completely ruins summer for me (along with wasps). And to add insult to injury, about 15 years ago my body decided that just hayfever would no longer be enough and developed an allergy to leaf mould too, so my hayfever just starts to clear up, I feel ok for a week or two and then I’m down with the same symptoms for the whole of autumn as well.

wildfirewonder · 08/06/2023 22:59

Hayfever is absolutely miserable. I think you're heartless to have no sympathy.

Flossflower · 08/06/2023 23:17

Mine is awful. I take fexofenadine, but on prescription as the dose is stronger.
last year I was on holiday and decided to miss a day‘s tablet. By the end of the day, the itching was terrible, the left side of my face was in pain and my left eye had closed up.

MassDebate · 08/06/2023 23:18

YABU. Hayfever can be fucking awful.

Topseyt123 · 08/06/2023 23:19

I'm not a regular hayfever sufferer, but I did get it during my pregnancies (especially with my DD3, who was a July baby). I remember it well and she is now almost 21. Pregnancy seemed to render me more sensitive to pollen and the GP did tell me that some women do sometimes get hayfever even if they don't otherwise normally have it.

It was very unpleasant. I was most uncomfortable, struggling to breathe properly and felt like I had been steamrollered.

It largely subsided once I was no longer pregnant, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

My DH gets it and keeps a packet of antihistamines so that he can take one if needed. You do have to be a little bit wary though as they can cause drowsiness if you aren't used to them.

Ineedwinenow · 08/06/2023 23:21

Yes! It ruins your life, mine was so bad that tablets didn’t work so I’ve had the steroid hayfever injection instead and my life has completely turned about, best 40.00 ever spent!

Honestly if your life is destroyed by it, google your local clinic and get booked in, it’s lasts 12-18 weeks ( maybe longer depending on your body type /allergy etc) but please just get it if you have spare money! Works out cheaper than antihistamines for me as I was taking 5 a day just to survive it

croft89 · 08/06/2023 23:21

I take a tablet first thing in the morning and it's fine

december212 · 08/06/2023 23:22

Sorry for highjacking posters original question but do any of you who had hayfever which has disappeared over time think changing hormones helped with that? I've had hayfever every June/July since I was pregnant (nothing prior), it is absolutely horrendous but I am noticing it is better so far this year. No sure if that's just happening with age or a knock on of the kenalog injection last year (which definitely took the edge off symptoms at the time).

WineIsMyMainVice · 08/06/2023 23:24

Have you ever complained to your DH about period pain or maybe childbirth? Did he give you any sympathy?
if he didn’t then don’t worry about not giving him any over his hay fever….
If he has, then think on

elm26 · 08/06/2023 23:28

Get him to start taking Fexofenadine. I have it prescribed all year round as I'm terrible all year, all sorts of grass, pollen, flowers etc. I swell up and have hives covering my body. It truly is horrific when it's bad. You can now buy them over the counter, they've changed my life.