Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is hayfever really that bad?

113 replies

kungfudumpling · 08/06/2023 21:57

DH gets hayfever. Every year he's a mess for the whole of June. Constant complaining, loud nose blowing, groaning noises and takes three showers a day. As a non-sufferer, I find it really hard to be sympathetic. In fact I give him no sympathy because it irritates me that he makes such a big fuss about it, especially because it doesn't seem to stop him playing golf (ie deliberately spending 4 hours surrounded by the thing he's allergic to).

Is hayfever really as bad as he makes out? AIBU not to be nicer to him?

OP posts:
wowie69 · 08/06/2023 22:09

It's fucking terrible. When mine is bad I feel like I can do nothing but lie on the bed with a cold cloth on my face because my nose is streaming, eyes are gritty and itchy, and the whole of the inside of my head feels itchy (inside mouth/ears/eyes)

However, if you take the right meds correctly, it can improve a great deal.
I can now feel reasonable if I start taking a steroid nasal spray a couple of weeks before my hay fever is due ( I know mine kicks off in June) and take two antihistamine pills every morning along with the nasal spray. Doctor told me I can take up to three of the "one a day" pills daily if required. I also keep eye drops handy.

DH on the other hand waits until he's streaming before even taking a pill, which doesn't work so well.

Whatabouterry · 08/06/2023 22:09

It really is grim. I’m on strong prescription meds and have to shower and change my clothes after being outside, can’t line dry my clothes at the one time of year that it’s mad not to.
The meds always make me feel slightly drowsy too. It’s rubbish!

Daisymae55 · 08/06/2023 22:11

It’s awful. My eyes and throat are itchy and burning, my eyes constantly run. It’s like I’m permanently ill for the spring. There’s a particular road I drive down on my commute and everytime I do it goes into overdrive.

my husband and I both get it so there’s a lot of sympathy in this house. Mind you I can understand you having little sympathy when it comes to golf. Does he take anything for it? If we’re having an outside day with DD we have to have piriton or I can’t see thanks to the relentless eye watering

wowie69 · 08/06/2023 22:11

Already take antihistamines but you can only have one a day.

Doctor told me I can double up on certrizine no problem. They can also prescribe stronger ones if you need them.

RicherThanYews · 08/06/2023 22:11

Mine is so bad that my nose bleeds, my ears itch for 4 solid months and my eyes swell shut and get covered in crusty gunk but I still know better than to spend hours on cut grass. I would have much sympathy for him either.

MichelleScarn · 08/06/2023 22:12

If you have to ask you've never experienced it. Tree pollen bizarrely big problem here just now. The other day i would gladly have sawn my head off the pressure felt so bad!

RoseslnTheHospital · 08/06/2023 22:12

It is awful. It makes me incredibly irritable, I need to wash my face and hands, change clothes when coming in from outside, avoid places where high concentration of pollen is likely.

It's really mean to be unsympathetic to your DH, unless he isn't managing it as well as he could. Is he taking antihistamines? Eye-drops? Nasal sprays? etc.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 08/06/2023 22:13

It can be. I always get tricked by it and have about a month at the beginning of hayfever season where I think I've come down with a bad cold. Sore throat, pressure behind my eyes, lethargic, headachy and a cough.

Then I realise that tree pollen is out and start taking my antihistamines. This year was a bastard as tree pollen hit hard and early.

MuddlingMackem · 08/06/2023 22:13

Re: the golf, maybe it's is only respite from it as, bizarely, I remember a summer when DD's hayfever was really bad at home (very urban) yet during a week's residential in the countryside it didn't affect her at all!

Yarnysaura · 08/06/2023 22:14

unambiguousbeard · 08/06/2023 22:07

I’d call it a chronic illness. From February to about November. Headaches, body aches, fatigue, wheezing, depression, brain fog, itchy eyes, itchy face. That’s using 2 anti-histamines, a nasal spray. Having a nasal rinse every time I come into the house plus face in cold water. Totally debilitating. You have no idea.

Yup, totally debilitating, the last 2 years I've only had 2 months a year 'off', mine had ticked along mildly for years and then bam.

I have an anaphylactic allergy as well but the hayfever is way more limiting.

Newname2323 · 08/06/2023 22:14

Hayfever ruins my summer. People are always shocked when I say I prefer winter, but they don't have to endure streaming eyes, itchy throat, roof your mouth and nose. Mines so bad I've gone for the hayfever injection this year

Original poster
kungfudumpling · 08/06/2023 22:15

Thank you all for your responses, that does indeed sound quite bad! I think DH is on the milder end of the scale, it's like he has a cold for a month. As far as I know he's never seen a doctor about it. He does take over the counter tablets but never starts taking them until symptoms start, whereas I think you're meant to start a few weeks in advance.

OP posts:
PictureConsequences · 08/06/2023 22:15

Tonight, went for walk and drink with DH, came home early as wanted to take my eyes out and rub them up and down a cheese grater. It's not loads of fun no. It is NOTHING like a cold.

hartof · 08/06/2023 22:15

June is my worst month. I rake Fexofenadine (which is 180mg normal hayfever tablets are 10) and a steroid nose spray and eye drops. I still suffer. I hate it so much it drains the life out of me

Fairislefandango · 08/06/2023 22:15

As a non-sufferer, I find it really hard to be sympathetic.

And your justification for that is... what, exactly? You don't have it, so it can't be that bad? It's annoying for you, so he should just stop feeling bad? Angry Hayfever can be fucking awful. Maybe try to stop being so self-centred.

As for the golf, it's understandable that he's reluctant to give up something he enjoys. Besides, when my hayfever was at its worst (from mid teens to my mid 30s!), it was awful wherever I was, not just when on grass. Actually, being in the city was one of the worst places (exacerbated by pollution, I expect). It is debilitating and exhausting. The only tablets that worked on me made me like a zombie too.

BlippiIsAnnoying · 08/06/2023 22:16

At its worst it's excruciating.

Fairislefandango · 08/06/2023 22:16

He does take over the counter tablets but never starts taking them until symptoms start, whereas I think you're meant to start a few weeks in advance.

For me, they used to wane in effectiveness the longer I took them, so that wouldn't have been a good idea.

Sewingdufus · 08/06/2023 22:16

It can be hell.

Absolute hell.

Life limiting for the pollen season.

For me, at best, it was uncomfortable but more usually it was painful as itchy eyes react, very runny nose becomes chapped, sore throat. At its worst my eyelids became so swollen I could barely see, I detached the inner from the outer eyelid. Rubbed my eyes so much that they became tender and sticky - please don’t tell me not to touch them, the itch is too intense. All of those symptoms whilst taking antihistamines, nasal spray, eye drops and doing everything possible to limit exposure to pollen.

My reactions to grass pollen would severely affect what I wanted to do during the season, anytime from May to early July. I didn’t want to go outside at all. In my 30s I developed more of a reaction to tree pollen too, not so extreme but still not pleasant. Eventually I was referred for desensitisation - which worked fairly well for my grass pollen reactions.

So, yes, hayfever can be awful!

hartof · 08/06/2023 22:17

When I say June is my worst month, I'm wheezy and all of my symptoms are worst this month. I need an inhaler. The other months are bad and I take my meds all year round.

Screamingabdabz · 08/06/2023 22:17

My kids suffer really badly but if he can still play golf it’s clearly not as bad for him as he’s making out.

OneTC · 08/06/2023 22:18

It's different for everyone obviously, mine varies between being a season long minor annoyance all the way through to being admitted to hospital because of it.

I have found an anti histamine that works but it took a long time and I'd given up on the idea of finding one that did work

Grapewrath · 08/06/2023 22:18

Yes it is horrific, debilitating and ruins your life for the period you suffer with it.
In terms of golf, I find once I’ve got hayfever and the season hits, it’s horrendous and it makes no difference whether I’m in doors or out
Trying to enjoy normal things might help your husband because if he’s like me,staying in makes no difference

hartof · 08/06/2023 22:19

Sewingdufus · 08/06/2023 22:16

It can be hell.

Absolute hell.

Life limiting for the pollen season.

For me, at best, it was uncomfortable but more usually it was painful as itchy eyes react, very runny nose becomes chapped, sore throat. At its worst my eyelids became so swollen I could barely see, I detached the inner from the outer eyelid. Rubbed my eyes so much that they became tender and sticky - please don’t tell me not to touch them, the itch is too intense. All of those symptoms whilst taking antihistamines, nasal spray, eye drops and doing everything possible to limit exposure to pollen.

My reactions to grass pollen would severely affect what I wanted to do during the season, anytime from May to early July. I didn’t want to go outside at all. In my 30s I developed more of a reaction to tree pollen too, not so extreme but still not pleasant. Eventually I was referred for desensitisation - which worked fairly well for my grass pollen reactions.

So, yes, hayfever can be awful!

Oh my god when DH or DM tell me not to itch my eyes I get so angry!! I can't not itch

Letitrow · 08/06/2023 22:20

It doesn't sound as if its overly proactive in trying to lessen his symptoms. Sure, meds and whatever else don't work for everyone sadly, but if its affecting him to the point you're feeling the fall out from it then he could explore eye drops, baseline up the nostrils, stronger tablets and really good pollen hygiene. As he isn't and just takes some OTC tablets once he's already suffering then yes I'd have slightly less sympathy.

DanceMonster · 08/06/2023 22:20

Do you think he’s acting like that… for fun? Because it amuses him?