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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking charge notice

110 replies

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:01

Posting for traffic

DP's job and job description does not involve any driving at all. One of his Supervisors doesn't drive (although is advertised as a necessary requirement for his position) and subsequently (very often) DP is asked to ferry this supervisor around in a company van. In doing so he's inadvertently drove in a bus lane on a road he doesn't know at 22:00. There has been a penalty charge notice issued and DP is expected to pay this personally?

This can't be right surely?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 08/06/2023 09:21

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:18

He's already paid the fine, so it's not a major issue, and i accept i Am BU. But I am going to tell him to refuse to drive the supervisor around from now on. It's ridiculous that he's been doing it for so long anyway.

Isn’t that his decision?

Whinge · 08/06/2023 09:22

Hoppinggreen · 08/06/2023 09:21

Isn’t that his decision?

Show quote history

Indeed. I can only imagine how that discussion would go.

My partner says i'm not allowed to drive you any more...

He's an adult. If he doesn't want to drive then he need to speak to his supervisor.

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:23

@Hoppinggreen no, not unilaterally when it's costing us as a family money.

OP posts:
ReviewingTheSituation · 08/06/2023 09:24

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:23

@Hoppinggreen no, not unilaterally when it's costing us as a family money.

It's not the driving the supervisor that's costing family money, it's the breaking the law and driving in the bus lane!

Fandabedodgy · 08/06/2023 09:24

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:16

@Fandabedodgy well technically he did. DP doesn't know the roads so was going to drive the long way round. Supervisor insisted he went through town as its quicker and he would direct him.

Technically he did not.

Sorry

SeeingSpots · 08/06/2023 09:25

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:23

@Hoppinggreen no, not unilaterally when it's costing us as a family money.

But driving his supervisor isn't costing him money, he got the fine because he ignored the signs and didn't check if it was ok to be in the bus lane that's a very basic error and entirely his fault.

Maybe he doesn't actually mind driving his supervisor if he's not said anything before now. Surely it's up to him to take the lead if he no longer wishes to drive him.

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:25

@ReviewingTheSituation true, but if the supervisor could drive (as he is supposed to) then DP would never have been in that van, on that road.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:32

Also I don't like the idea that the supervisor shoulders nothing, he's been promoted to a position he shouldn't have (a driving licence is a requirement) so is getting paid a rate for doing a job that he's not doing. He's in a position of authority over DP so it's hard for DP to just say no when directed to do something.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 08/06/2023 09:33

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:23

@Hoppinggreen no, not unilaterally when it's costing us as a family money.

It’s only costing him money because he went into a bus lane.
Maybe ban him from doing that rather than something that might cause him issues at work?

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:34

@Hoppinggreen haha I'm not banning him, it's up to him what he does but in future the fine will come from his own personal money if he chooses to carry on and not the "joint pot".

OP posts:
SeeingSpots · 08/06/2023 09:35

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:32

Also I don't like the idea that the supervisor shoulders nothing, he's been promoted to a position he shouldn't have (a driving licence is a requirement) so is getting paid a rate for doing a job that he's not doing. He's in a position of authority over DP so it's hard for DP to just say no when directed to do something.

He hasn't got power over your DH he can't force him to drive him places. You make it sound like your husband can't speak up or use autonomy.

If your DH is fed up of giving lifts he needs to raise it properly as an issue at work.

ReviewingTheSituation · 08/06/2023 09:36

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:32

Also I don't like the idea that the supervisor shoulders nothing, he's been promoted to a position he shouldn't have (a driving licence is a requirement) so is getting paid a rate for doing a job that he's not doing. He's in a position of authority over DP so it's hard for DP to just say no when directed to do something.

You are conflating 2 issues here.

The point about whether the supervisor should be in that job or not has nothing to do with driving in a bus lane.

The relationship between your DP and the supervisor should be tackled completely separately from the fine, which you have no grounds to challenge or do anything about (I think you said you'd paid it now anyway, which is entirely right).

Hoppinggreen · 08/06/2023 09:38

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:34

@Hoppinggreen haha I'm not banning him, it's up to him what he does but in future the fine will come from his own personal money if he chooses to carry on and not the "joint pot".

Seems reasonable

JauntyJinty · 08/06/2023 09:44

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:34

@Hoppinggreen haha I'm not banning him, it's up to him what he does but in future the fine will come from his own personal money if he chooses to carry on and not the "joint pot".

That's the 1st thing you've said that I agree with! It was his fuck up, he should be paying for it

melj1213 · 08/06/2023 10:14

Tbh whilst yes, officially, the driver takes on all responsibility for any fines incurred when driving, I do think that since he was only driving due to the supervisor's inability to drive, and was following his instructions on the route, then the supervisor should have at least offered to cover half the fine. Is he legally obliged to do so? No, but if he wants the OPs DP to continue facilitating his job and driving him around then he should at least offer. If it was me I wouldn't want to drive the supervisor in future if I was risking a personal fine every time I risked taking supervisors directions in areas I don't know.

Especially if the DP doesn't know the area and the supervisor says "Oh I know a quicker route, I'll direct you" then you're not going to argue, as you assume the other person actually knows the area better and would not direct you down roads you can't go on. The issue was that the OPs DP hadn't accounted for the fact that the supervisor isn't a driver so didn't know this wasn't a viable option.

Even just a "I heard you got a fine from driving me to ABC site the other night, sorry about that. How much was it and I'll contribute as it was my fault for directing you that way" would go a long way to accumulating goodwill towards them and I'd be much more likely to continue driving if I knew I wasn't going to be financially worse off (and in the first instance I'd probably wave them off and tell them not to worry as it was my fault and I've paid it already but in future we either go my way or the supervisor pays any future fines caused by their directions)

Kiwano · 08/06/2023 10:18

Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 09:07

If its standard then fair enough, I don't drive so no idea but surely he should have signed some sort of liability agreement or something???? The fact that his Supervisor doesn't drive and I'd a requirement for the job makes me angry also because he should be getting his own parking tickets!! DP was being directed by the supervisor after all.

Did his supervisor direct him to use the bus lane?

thecatsthecats · 08/06/2023 10:25

drpet49 · 08/06/2023 09:07

Your DP shouldn’t be driving if he can’t cope with not driving on a unfamiliar road that has a bus lane. What a stupid thread.

Honestly, I am always the only person who is in the bus lane because it's out of it's hours of operation and no one else has noticed, and I still think this is a wanky comment.

He made a mistake, and not an unsafe one.

I absolutely guarantee that you make mistakes in your driving that you're totally unaware of. Because you are a human being, not an infallible deity.

Much as you seem to think the latter.

Pluvia · 08/06/2023 10:25

OP, would your DH have been driving at all were it not that he was requested to by the supervisor? You said his job doesn't require him to be a driver but the supervisor's does.

He was driving the vehicle so he was responsible, but from now on if I were him I'd refuse to drive the supervisor anywhere in case it happens again. He isn't employed as a driver and if he gets sacked for refusing I think it sounds as if he'd have a good case for a tribunal.

As for all those making your DH out to be an idiot for accidentally driving in a bus lane, it happens all the time. When I lived in Bristol there was a very short stretch where the bus lane ended, there was 50m of open road and then the bus lane started again. There was a camera positioned to catch all the drivers who didn't manage to get out of the bus lane and back into the correct lane in time. It caught hundreds of drivers. I was one of them. We eventually got the bus lane changed and the camera removed.

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 10:27

@melj1213 Supervisors response when told of the fine was nonchalant.

OP posts:
Beneficialchampion2 · 08/06/2023 10:27

Most contracts of employment have stipulations around driving within them.

YABU - quite the tool in fact. The person driving is the person responsible

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 10:28

@pluvia no he wouldn't be driving at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 10:30

@Beneficialchampion2 .. quite the tool? Really? I don't drive and have never driven, soni sought advice from others (which concluded i am BU, which i have accepted) There is no mention of driving in DPs contract (I've checked) which us why I asked if he should gave signed some sort of liability agreement much the same as you do when hiring a car.

OP posts:
Thisisbollocksmark · 08/06/2023 10:31

Obviously this is your DH's fault. I don't know why you're so invested in what he's doing at work either.

Pluvia · 08/06/2023 10:31

You and your husband have been treated really badly on this thread, OP. I'm sorry you've been swarmed by the judgmental brigade.

Original poster
Rabbitheadlights · 08/06/2023 10:32

@pluvia thanks, I'm not the type to let it bother me.

OP posts: