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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour weird about my cat

140 replies

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:00

So a neighbour (from the next street over, houses back and across one) came to introduce herself, husband and daughter one Saturday afternoon to explain that our cat. (I live with husband and 3 kids under 10 + cat) Sometimes visited their house, and was often there during the day when we are all out. They stayed on the doorstep way too long for people randomly introducing themselves and asked so many questions about our cat and lives (her breed, whether she has a cat flap) but thought that they were maybe looking for friends for their daughter. When they left I thought it a bit odd but I was genuinely planning to invite them over/thinking of playdates. I did feel a bit weird about the cat being there but what was the harm, she works from home, we're out? Then we started to see less and less and less of our cat, she started going missing for days at a time and my daughters are getting more and more upset everyday.

OP posts:
WhatsThatIHear · 07/06/2023 23:06

Sounds like they’ve stolen your cat!
Do you have a cat flap? If not, they maybe think the cat shouldn’t be left out when you aren’t home, or why else would they ask that? Go knock on her door, make sure they aren’t feeding your cat at all and tell them to not let it in the house. Is she microchipped?

Wolfiefan · 07/06/2023 23:08

Next time your cat comes back keep it in until you’ve catproofed your garden.

Cherchezlafemme77 · 07/06/2023 23:12

It's me 😊. Your cat is my cat now and I shall call her Gwyneth. 🐈‍⬛

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:17

Cat is microchipped, and where we live catproofing not really possible. Terraces with tiny gardens. So I did send a message explaining my kids were upset that they didn't see their pet anymore and she claimed it was very hard to put the cat outside their house.... and asked for our family schedule (I didn't share). She also explained how much of a comfort and solace she found my cat. I began to find it so weird.

OP posts:
cheeseandketchupsandwich · 07/06/2023 23:18

She wants your cat. One day it isn't going to come home!

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:19

Not Gwyneth - part of the problem is that she knew the cats name because she asked another neighbour.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/06/2023 23:21

You can catproof a tiny garden. Or these people will be keeping your cat.

booksandbrooks · 07/06/2023 23:22

Ugh people are always trying to share my cat. The cat will go where it goes but people shouldn't be enticing cats in (especially they then get shut in.)

Buy a medical alert collar saying the cat has allergies and tell them not to feed her as she needs special food.

WestOfWestminster · 07/06/2023 23:27

Can you keep your cat inside? If your cat is going into other peoples houses might it be causing issues for other neighbours? Or do you think this family are actively taking your cat into their house & not letting it out?

If you really don't want to keep your pet inside I would suggest the killing her with kindness approach of politely going over to retrieve your cat every time you think its at their house, she'll soon get bored of you knocking at the door all the time?

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:30

Medical alert collar has been suggested but things got really strange. I took my kids away over Easter while DH was v busy with work. He called to say he hadn't seen the cat for three days and no food was eaten and thought she must have been hit by a car. He felt terrible, v worriwd for our kids. I sent the neighbour a message to ask if she'd seen my cat and here is her reply: (I have redacted for everyone's privacy)

Hi, I hope you are having a good Easter break.

Sorry for the delay in replying. Your cat was here last night but left in the morning (and is now here again). There has been a yellow weather warning over the last few days and I think she chose to shelter here rather than brave the rain and high winds.

I am glad you wrote. We have tried our best to keep your out, as requested, but it has been very, very stressful all around; your cat has refused to leave, running away, hiding, breathing heavily and biting if we tried to coax her out. When we did pick her up and bring her outside, she would cry, paw and meow for what felt like hours and go to the various windows on the different floors. We had to turn off the lights and hide inside. My child and myself have been in tears on many nights, and even our nanny was very upset when we got home one night, as we had asked her to try to take your cat outside.

Most importantly, at the centre of this is a sensitive being, your cat, who was getting very distressed. I just don't have the heart to make her (and my child) go through that again and again, I am utterly useless as cat police. We have always kept a window open on the first floor for ventilation and in the warmer months we keep our bi-folds open throughout the day, which we don't want to stop doing.

We don't feed your cat and have never forced her inside or made her stay inside. For whatever reason, she keeps coming inside, probably because she knows she can always get company, and so over the last two years has bonded with us and us with her. We truly weren't trying to make this happen, it just happened.

You seem like a lovely family and we appreciate this is an awkward situation, and you are not getting the benefit of the cat you paid for. This of course may be better as a face to face conversation (if you wish). Could we invite you over for a coffee this Sunday?

OP posts:
Kerfuffler · 07/06/2023 23:32

Can you just give us the full story all in one go? Easter was ages ago...

wowie69 · 07/06/2023 23:32

Easter was ages ago, what's happened since?

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:33

Oh - I've tried. They don't answer their door.

OP posts:
BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:34

Well after noticing our cat in their house and sending a few polite messages asking her to put our cat outside. She called the police and accused me of harassment.

OP posts:
WestOfWestminster · 07/06/2023 23:34

Just read your update, I think you have to cat proof your garden or keep your cat indoors.

Kerfuffler · 07/06/2023 23:35

righty oh.

WestOfWestminster · 07/06/2023 23:35

Interesting update

Kerfuffler · 07/06/2023 23:36

I miss the bison lady.

Cherchezlafemme77 · 07/06/2023 23:38

Kerfuffler · 07/06/2023 23:36

I miss the bison lady.

A neighbour stole her bison?

BeingGemma1979 · 07/06/2023 23:39

I should be clear - one day I went over and knocked on her door and there was no answer. I have not been back. I have only sent polite messages.

OP posts:
Underminer · 07/06/2023 23:39

That escalated quickly. Is it a full moon?

Glowly · 07/06/2023 23:42

So you haven't seen your cat since Easter!?

Cherchezlafemme77 · 07/06/2023 23:43

I told you, she's mine now. Go away.

EL8888 · 07/06/2023 23:44

She sounds bonkers and she’s a cat thief

Cherchezlafemme77 · 07/06/2023 23:44

Me 👱‍♀️ and Gwyneth 🐈‍⬛

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