Neighbour weird about my cat

[BeingGemma1979]

So a neighbour (from the next street over, houses back and across one) came to introduce herself, husband and daughter one Saturday afternoon to explain that our cat. (I live with husband and 3 kids under 10 + cat) Sometimes visited their house, and was often there during the day when we are all out. They stayed on the doorstep way too long for people randomly introducing themselves and asked so many questions about our cat and lives (her breed, whether she has a cat flap) but thought that they were maybe looking for friends for their daughter. When they left I thought it a bit odd but I was genuinely planning to invite them over/thinking of playdates. I did feel a bit weird about the cat being there but what was the harm, she works from home, we're out? Then we started to see less and less and less of our cat, she started going missing for days at a time and my daughters are getting more and more upset everyday.

Honestly OP, you come across as really passive. Passive people end up in stupid situations like this because you refuse to take control.

The answer is that you just keep your cat at home and make adjustments to allow it to be comfortable. I don’t know why you’re rebutting this.

Like it or not, your cat probably does constantly visit them, even if they end up keeping the cat inside their house afterwards. The truth is your passive behaviour has allowed your cat to bond closely with other people, which is shit as it’s your pet. Perhaps your approach of letting the cat come and go and fend for itself has lead to your cat not being closely bonded to your own household.

@IntoDeepBlueSea A catio is an enclosed outdoor cat run. I'd recommend against the fire pit and pizza oven in case of feline fur singeing.

This whole thread feels like the twilight zone honestly 😂

Ok, I'll swap in an electric blanket and automatic pet feeder. ..

If you loved your pet so much you would be keeping it indoors so it couldn’t get over to your neighbours place.

That’s what I find so ridiculous. The answer to your problem is so easy but you seem to be ignoring it which is baffling to me.

I am a pet person for the record but I don’t think it’s appropriate for cats to be able to go annoy other people.

Your neighbours are in the wrong for trying to keep your cat but it seems like they have been trying to tell you to keep your cat away from their property for ages.

Most cats wouldn't enjoy being 'played with' by 3 kids under 10. The cat has probably taken itself off to somewhere it can have peace and quiet and be left alone.

For goodness sake, stop letting the fucking cat out of the house. Yes, your neighbour is obviously weird and just waiting for you to say "you know what, the cat likes it better at yours anyway, you can just keep him and we'll get another" but it doesn't need all this aggro and drama. Stop letting the cat outside and this doesn't happen!

The comment about the cat not enjoying being poked and prodded by young kids may have also hit the nail on the head, though.

Build a catio or secure your back yard - small terraced back gardens/yards are IDEAL for cat proofing, you can get suitable mesh for it (I know someone who has meshed from just above the first floor windows on the back of his house down to the fence all the way round so his parrots can fly and its a pretty big garden!).

Then just cat proof any front windows you might want to open and keep the cat in.

I would strongly consider sending her all vet bills - even a bogus one? Then getting a new cat.

Put a go pro camera on it’s collar and a tracker.

This 1000% 🤣

So bloody annoying when people do this, we had it with our elderly cat, family up the road stole her, she died a few months later, and they had the nerve to ask her if I wanted her body back, couldn’t believe the cheek of it.

Brilliant. Hire a Pet therapist and pet psychic to explain to them how she’s really feeling.

Why are you ignoring all the suggestions to keep your cat inside or cat proof your garden/build a catio? Find ways to occupy your cat indoors. Get a harness and teach it to walk with you. There are YouTube videos showing you how to train cats to walk on a lead. If you don't have time to do this then you shouldn't have a pet

I've never understand why cat owners expect everyone else to accept their pets intruding in other gardens and houses. I have pet rodents and have to be careful to keep patio doors shut, if the neighbourhood cat wandered in she would terrify and could kill my pets. Why should I have to keep my doors and windows closed, rather than other people just controlling their pets? My mum has a phobia of cats and equally should be able to enjoy her garden without fear of cats wandering in.

Cats also kill wildlife. I am a pet person, I have my own pets. But I really hate cats killing birds in my garden. I don't understand why it's acceptable. People don't let dogs run around the neighbourhood without supervision. And there are plenty of ways to keep your cat happy without letting her wander.

If people insist on letting their cats roam around unsupervised then I don't think they should be surprised when other people steal them.

Apologies if you've already answered this but I didn't see it in your replies - do you have a cat flap or are you locking your cat out during the day? I've been in the position more than once of living near a cat who got shut out when I was at home and who would beg at my window to come in. It can be distressing, particularly in bad weather, and I did often let them in.

I think your neighbour sounds a bit OTT but I do agree with others that the obvious solution is to keep your cat in. However, if you don't have a cat flap you should at least try that so the cat can come and go at will, that alone may resolve the issue.

We once had something similar with our dog. Small village, old dog who was very happy and often hanging out in our garden.

This strange (New) neighbour began to lure our dog to her house (with food). One day we called and she was frying burgers for our dog. It was mad.
Another day we called and she had locked in our dog and he was barking at us at the window and he couldn't get out.

Our dog was the most loved dog in the world. He didn't need another owner. It was very upsetting. It ended in a showdown. We won but had to be much more vigilant about our dog. She was mad.

Certainly does in fact almost every thread I have clicked on recently has felt that way.

Site has gone mad.

This.

When we had DC the cats hated it. One cat used to go and visit neighbours and come back after bedtime.

How much time did your cat spend at home before Easter?

This article suggests catios are the way forward to protect cats. I would suggest getting one and keeping your car inside in the interim. https://www.thepurringtonpost.com/the-moral-case-for-catios/

Don’t let the cat outside. Problem solved. Good grief this is ridiculous. A neighbor of ours had a beautiful cat who liked being outside. Many of the other neighbors warned her to keep the cat inside because of coyotes and other predators but she kept saying the cat lives going outside. Well the cat either got run over or killed by a dog or coyote, and the neighbor was devastated. She may wish she’d kept the cat inside.

Your neighbor is after your cat. Keep it inside, get a litter box if you don’t have one, cat will get used to being inside, and all your problems with the insane neighbor, I mean she is nuts, will be solved.

Put a tracker on the cat and see what’s happening. You could say outright you feel they are deliberately attempting catnapping and call them out. Tell them cats got a tracker and each time it comes into their house you will come round to retrieve it. Or just don’t let it out but I actually think that’s mean and unfair on cat and of course they are deliberately coaxing the cat in and I expect are purposefully doing it all! So I wouldn’t want to change the cats lifestyle but I would deffo start getting serious about the situ. If you can prove it’s in their house and they aren’t releasing it could you complain about theft? X

I would definitely get a tracker for my cat, but I would also try and increase my cats happiness in the home so they wanted to spend more time there. More beds, a cat tree, better food more treats, somewhere for some down time alone for them.

My interpretation of the message she sent you from the update is that your cat is a menace and they do not want it in their house. They probably came round to check that you are actually feeding it just in case it was coming to theirs for food or something, but the text makes it clear that they are bloody sick of dealing with YOUR pet.

It is your pet and your responsibility - so I would echo what others have said about keeping the cat in and building a catio.

Ask them if they want to keep her and be the new owner, then ask them to provide a copy of their insurance for the cat. And resolve your responsibility, then they can be the owners,

I couldn't believe the cheek when they turned up with her. "She kept coming to visit and staying longer and longer, we thought she was homeless', blah , blah, blah". Strange they knew where to come when she was injured. Good luck with your cat. Your neighbours are determined to keep the cat. I hope you manage to find a solution.