Neighbour weird about my cat

[BeingGemma1979]

So a neighbour (from the next street over, houses back and across one) came to introduce herself, husband and daughter one Saturday afternoon to explain that our cat. (I live with husband and 3 kids under 10 + cat) Sometimes visited their house, and was often there during the day when we are all out. They stayed on the doorstep way too long for people randomly introducing themselves and asked so many questions about our cat and lives (her breed, whether she has a cat flap) but thought that they were maybe looking for friends for their daughter. When they left I thought it a bit odd but I was genuinely planning to invite them over/thinking of playdates. I did feel a bit weird about the cat being there but what was the harm, she works from home, we're out? Then we started to see less and less and less of our cat, she started going missing for days at a time and my daughters are getting more and more upset everyday.

The username is a reference to someone on Twitter calling the FWR regulars the "Mumsnet Mafia".

Cats are fickle. That cat is never going to live at home again, the neighbours have made sure of that. The OP has 3 choices

• Allow the theft
• Make the cat at house cat
• Rehome the cat and get a new one. - This would be my first choice because I don't think thieves should prosper.

The first time the cheeky gits brought the cat back when it was injured and then abducted it again once we had paid the vets bill and it had recovered.

Build a nice catio, they're ideal for small terrace gardens.

Keep your cat in your house - questions about the breed are weird fishing to see if she’s valuable.

Look, I’m a total cat lady. I’ll fettle anything in my garden but will I allow them into the house? Hell no! Not unless they’ve no collar and it’s a blizzard and they’re crying (you get the idea). Then they’re going the vets the next day for ID. Will I let a known cat wander in? Sure, if I know the neighbour but they’re getting turfed out when I’m closing the doors/going to bed unless the neighbour has agreed otherwise (like they’re away for the night and know cat lady is happy to have some extra company - my neighbours know I love cats and I’m first port of call cat sitter when anyone goes away before anyone thinks I’m borrowing without permission). Would I make excuses like this for hanging on to a cat whose home I know for 3 days? Nope!

Some people…

I made the mistake of leaving Dcat with DM when I bought my own place, I was scared of him getting killed on the road. A year later, he was still pining for me and I for him; when I went to visit him, he would sulk and DM said he wouldn't come to her for cuddles for more a few seconds and wouldn't lap sit at all, whereas he will sleep on me. I had him over to stay over Xmas a couple of years ago to see whether he would be OK with my new house and he's now on the sofa next to me and sleeps with me every night. I regret not moving him as soon as I had the first room decorated and furnished because my house with me is where he needs to be.

My point is that I know from experience that cats aren't always as fickle as they are made out to be, and with the CF being all "don't harrass me" and playing dumb and denying feeding the cat (the cat didn't eat for three days over Easter? bullshit!), I think that the CF is locking the cat in with the intention of stealing the cat. The cat has wandered in out of curiosity and makes visits but isn't let out when it asks.

So OP needs to lock the cat in to stop this.

I’ve had this recently. I kept her in for a week and then only let her in the garden with me, she has good recall for a cat. Also only let her out of the side of the terrace without the sticky fingers neighbour. Cats are drama queens, they are not going to die because they can’t get outside, no matter how much they yell at you about it.

At first that's how I thought this would turn out but they seem to gave taken my ok to her coming in to mean we'll keep her in but her toys and feed her..... and have been so rude in response to my polite messages asking them to put her outside. One time after I suggested they use a wi dow the cat couldn't jump into.... it was maybe one message a week.

"Your messages are bordering on harassment. We are free to live in our house as we see fit.
You have made this a ‘problem’, so solve your own problem. Since your cat's wellbeing is not what you are solving for here, take some responsibility instead of demanding over and over that we solve YOUR problem for you. Contain your cat or ensure she wants to spend time at your home. Do not ever tell me what to do again, and do not contact me again.

Ahem.

Why don't they get their own cat?!

@SugarNspices " Talk about mountain out of a mole hill "

If her aim is good, she'll be able to make a mouse hill, just inside the doors.

@BeingGemma1979

Tempt it home with Dreamies, then keep it in the house.

Quite! Would solve all the problems.

@BeingGemma1979 Please don’t let these people steal your cat. They sound bonkers and the third floor window thing is unbelievably cruel.
I know that keeping an outdoor cat inside is difficult but they do honestly adapt, and if you ensure your cat has cat trees, scratching posts, seats in windows, interesting toys or perhaps some wall mounted climbing apparatus or even a ‘catio’, then they will still get enjoyment and fulfilment from their environment the same way as they would outdoors 😻
Google ‘catification’ if you haven’t already heard of it 🙂

I'm really sorry to hear that. I bet they had the cat's best interests at heart.... 🙄The way these people justify repeated theft, and from my children, is unfathomable. Same thing happening in my MiLs road too. Elderly couple have a family's cat, but just leave for holidays.

I'm curious about the bison lady

Thanks so much for the advice - either this or give her to my parents so the kids can visit but my folks travel alot and the kids are not keen.

That lady is bonkers.

I live on a cat street, there must be atleast a dozen of them, and they occasionally wander in when the door is open. However, I wouldn't dream of trying to keep any of them as know the families who own them would be devastated if they went missing. On the odd occasion when the neighbourhood cats have been shut in accidentally, they have been distressed by this. Your poor cat.

Do you have legal cover as part of any insurance cover that you could call for advice and request that they send them a letter or something warning cat their to keep her sticky hands to herself?

I think you should try and keep cat indoors for several weeks to try and re establish your importance in his life, this may mean spoiling him with treats, toys, climbing framescratching posts and play time to win him over, if you feel like he is being bribed I to spending time elsewhere. Hope you manage to get it sorted.

Thank you! Good advice. It's nonsense about cats choosing where they live, it's interesting my neighbour used the words 'lure' 'feed' 'shut in' in her messaging to me, even if to say she hadn't done it - All I ever said was to put my cat outside - fortunately when she contacted the police they reinforced my message. Less fortunately I'm not sure she's stopped.

She is cruel, and I don’t think they are allowing the cat back out when it wants.

I would be livid at her comment about “the cat you paid for.” Like the cat is just an object to you.

I would absolutely stop letting the cat out for a while. Bet she will want to speak to you then.

Don't say I agree with her, obviously she's keeping the cat in her house, which she shouldn't. I don't think she's wrong about it being your problem to solve and that she doesn't have to change what window she opens (if there's a particular reason that one is the only one that serves the need she has it open for). Maybe a catio? Make sure the cat can't get out of your yard? Indoor cat?

Where is your cat at the moment?

The problem with the window is that they are obviously keen to open one the cat can easily get in, but not so keen to keep the same one and allow the cat to decide when to leave.

I cannot even put into words how much rage someone would get from me if they tried to keep one of my cats.

Exactly! CF plays dumb and claims harassment but knows exactly what she is doing.

Then pretends like she cares more about the cat.

@Revoltingrhyme I’m having the rage right now. Can’t even imagine what I would do it it was my own cat.

I blame the cat. I’ve heard that cats choose which staff to move in with.

You know that thing where criminals cannot help give themselves away? Her choice of language tells you exactly what she's been doing... you're spot on.

Someone tell me, is a catio a caged cat run? Presumably fully furnished with a fire pit, outside rug, and pizza oven