Squishing a child

[FeelingLowLowLow]

I recently saw a child wriggling around when they'd been told not to. The adult then squished them by leaning over them with their full body weight. The child started coughing, I shouted stop it, they did and everything seemed peaceful from that point. Am I being unreasonable to think that this is not actually OK? I have asked friends irl but opinion seems divided and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting.

I don't really understand the scenario - the adult purposefully crushed the child? Do you know them?

I think the relationship between the child and adult is important too.

It was the child's father. And it looked like that to me.

Could it have been done in a jokey way?

How did the child react, aside from coughing? I'm also wondering if they were joking, so if the child laughed or seemed frightened or hurt. I remember a case in the news a few years ago when a child actually died after being sat on as a punishment.

Child went quiet and stopped wriggling straight away. Pretty sure it was as discipline rather than jokey.

I don't think it's okay. I could understand restraining a child doing something dangerous and not stopping, but squashing them because they are fidgeting is something else. For starters- it's a child, they wriggle and don't always sit still for very long, and secondly even if you were somebody who believed physical punishments were fine I hardly think fidgeting warrants one, and especially not squashing a child.

That was exactly what I thought

My dd used to get overtired if say we are away on holiday. I used to swaddle her in my arms until she calmed down and would quickly fall asleep. My mother thought I was being cruel. 🤷‍♀️

I don't think an adult should be using physical force like that to try to manage behaviour. An adult's full weight on a child's torso is not a good idea. It's a bizarre approach. Did the father not seem embarrassed or bothered by you stopping him?

I'm struggling to picture this scenario. Were they both lying down?

I'm a bit confused as well. Could you draw a diagram?

deep Pressure is a tactic that is used a lot for people wihh sensory difficulties. It helps to ground them and calm the nervous system. It could have been that.

I was just about to say this - when my daughter gets anxious, she likes to be "squished". Doesn't usually make her cough though.

When my ds is particularly disregulated I have to squish him.

You mean restrain in a vice like grip? Or actually wrap them in a blanket and hold them? What age were they?

As someone horrendously claustrophobic, just the thought of being restrained in either of these ways is making my chest feel compressed.

My ds loves being squished. He has autism and finds it really calming. I imagine it could look quite concerning to people though.

Child lying down in bed, adult sitting next to bed back to child, adult twisted half round and leant back over child with upper torso to pin them down. Adult was not in a good mood.
They stopped instantly I shouted, so must have been surprised they were being observed but then just acted as if nothing had happened.

@WhatsThatIHear

Wrapped her in my arms in a bear hug. She was two.

My husband sometimes does that with my 3 year old son in a roughhousing type of way when they are playing.

I would never think of this as abusive.

I wouldn't do it, but men play with children differently than women a lot of times.

It would be such a peculiar choice of punishment though.

Definitely wasn't playing. Adult was cross with child.

Clearly this man wasn't playing or doing any kind of pressure technique, as the OP says he was angry and doing it in response to a fidgeting child.

So this was in the hospital (?) and he was squishing this child on the bed while being cross? If so, you should report your observations to someone just incase.

Yes, I'm sure of this. My first thought was that it was dangerous hence why I shouted.