To be upset with my sons school

[Crispymandm]

So first day back and my ds is 9 years old. He’s small for his age and has a few medical issues. We had signed him up for after school rounders club, first one was to start Monday 3-4. I checked in the morning if it was on and was told I would be called if it wasn’t, I then rang school at 2:30 and was told all ok pick him up at 4.

My ds usually walks part way home himself up to the large duel carriageway road where I meet him, we have a 20 min walk home , I have told him to meet me here as I feel the road is to big to cross himself just yet.

So I’m thinking he’s safe at school until I have a knock on the door from another child at 3:30 to say my son is panicking at the side of the road when he last saw him. I got my shoes on and started sprinting to the road while calling the school to see where my son is, the school answered and said they had assumed I changed my mind and picked him up.

I round the corner to the big road to see police pulling in and my poor ds sat crying, when I get to him and calm him down he tells me he went to rounders club and there were no other children or teachers there, so he thought it wasn’t on, he knew I was ringing to check so thought I would be meeting him. He looked back down the street at the school when I didn’t come but it was locked and all the other children/ parents had gone. Apparently no other children had signed up for the club.

I have emailed the school this morning but no reply as yet, am I been unreasonable thinking they shouldn’t assume I had picked him up? And also they should realise if only one child has signed for a club to let me know it wouldn’t be on? I have spoken to my ds about what to do if this situation happens again and think I will let him keep his phone in his bag.

Personally I think this is a major safeguarding issue. Is it a private school? The clubs make it sound like it is?

Once all the children have left my children's primary school they lock up the main gates and the only access is through the office. That could have happened here making him think everyone has gone home?

Age and school policy on allowing unaccompanied children to walk home is irrelevant.

OP made arrangements for her child to attend a club and with her child agreed what collection would look like. She checked those arrangements were still in place prior to the end of the school day and was assured club was on, collect at 4pm.

Her child was not told club was cancelled. The cancellation message was not received until after op was told by another child of her son's distress.

This is entirely on the school and I would be asking for formal investigation in writing to look at what happened, why parents were not informed in a timely manner, whether or when children were informed no club was taking place, why there was t a member of staff at the designated meeting point in case anyone had missed that message - it's a primary school, kids might easily miss being told something and I'm absolutely not blaming the child in

In this instance and what process they were putting in place to ensure this never happens again.

My dc have walked home since they were 9. They're allowed with parental permission from year 5. But, when there are after school clubs, all those children are kept back by their teacher then taken to the appropriate place/room. If they make a decision to cancel a club, they send a text out in the morning. If it's cancelled with short notice, they ring parents of those attendees. Even if those children walk home themselves, because they might not be able to get in if parents are expecting them an hour later.

The school got this wrong- both you and he should have been told of the cancellation.
But the problem is the current arrangements that you have.
I work in a school and often am in the playground at the end of the day. There are often issues arising from communication- if we have already left the classroom, or are in a room without a working phone, getting a message about a child does not always happen in time. I know who usually walks home and who doesn't, but it's more complicated if the arrangement is not straightforward. The school cannot reasonably agree to let DC walk to a particular spot, either they are allowed to leave the premises, or they are not.

We are very aware of our safeguarding responsibilities, but from the schools side I would say it's better if you have a permanent arrangement that your child is to be collected every so day, and then email before lunch time if there is going to be a variation to that.
speak to the school and ask what the arrangements are for getting children to the right club. There is a hole in your school's system at that point.
Schools phone/ email systems are often old and inadequate, so messages can often take a while to filter through to everyone. The back stop position has to be that children are not allowed to leave without permission, and the problem here is he did have permission.
Hope he is not too traumatised - do drill into him that he must go to the office if he is any doubt.

I would put I a serious complaint about this as you might not have been at home. At the end of the day, the situation was so serious that the police stopped to investigate. I imagine the police officer wasn't happy either.

As a poster above said, there should be a register for the after-school club, and they should have called to check if he'd left without their knowledge.

Also, check if the after-school club was actually cancelled or if son misunderstood where to meet or was late and they'd gone to change. But both are scenario's are bad.

Decades of experience in UK state schools, never known one to be closed and inaccessible at 3.30pm.
You do need to follow up with the school and find out what the procedures are if a club is cancelled. They failed in safeguarding, but there should also be procedures in place for children who aren’t collected, and the children should be confident about what they are.
You need to support your son, so that he becomes more able to cope with unexpected events. Has he got a basic phone so he can contact you? Has he got friends who could help him build confidence and more independence?

The problem is the mixed communications affecting the pick-up arrangements, and the school gave OP the wrong information which lead to her not having the correct arrangements in place.

DS has walked home from 9. In our case it's a short walk that he walks the entireity of and he lets himself in. I'm normally back from the other school run shortly after so the window of him being unaccounted for is very small, but in OP's case the situation has caused her child some distress. He reacted sensibly by turning back to school (and in our case, while there are people in school, the gates/ front doors mean that if no one is in reception it's very difficult to get attention).

The answer isn't to wrap children in cotton wool. Praise what they did well, suggest future strategies, but ultimately the school needs to alert parents when there is a change to the expected pick up times and they cocked up.

The problem is the mixed communications affecting the pick-up arrangements, and the school gave OP the wrong information which lead to her not having the correct arrangements in place.

DS has walked home from 9. In our case it's a short walk that he walks the entireity of and he lets himself in. I'm normally back from the other school run shortly after so the window of him being unaccounted for is very small, but in OP's case the situation has caused her child some distress. He reacted sensibly by turning back to school (and in our case, while there are people in school, the gates/ front doors mean that if no one is in reception it's very difficult to get attention).

The answer isn't to wrap children in cotton wool. Praise what they did well, suggest future strategies, but ultimately the school needs to alert parents when there is a change to the expected pick up times and they cocked up.

My ds's have been walking to and from school themselves since age 7 and 8. Most kids do walk themselves round here unless they get the school bus. It's a good way to build independence. Really a non-issue.

School was in the wrong here for not informing the parent that the club was cancelled.

God bless the little boy who came and knocked for you! He'd be getting a jolly big cake from me!