“Men have to fight in wars and do the protecting and heavy lifting”

[DogEar]

So says a male colleague as he monologues about female privilege.
I’m rather sick of it. I’ve moved offices over this but can still hear him droning on about women - the lazy entitled part of humanity.

I’ve argued - men fight in wars, do the protecting, do the heavy lifting, because this is the patriarchy - this is literally what has been created by men. He argues back harder, so I, and others in the office, have given up, yet he still drones on.

Apparently women can do nothing without men. Totally ignoring the many women who have had their inventions and discoveries stolen by men and not had any credit, including writers, composers, artists, scientists, astronomers, etc.

I recently read a convincing theory that Einstein’s work was largely carried out by his first wife, Mileva Einstein-Maric, who was his intellectual superior. I guess this is something we’ll never know, but at the very least she supported his work heavily, but very few know her name or her involvement in Einstein’s work.

If women need protecting it’s from men. If we go to war it’s men behind it (or a tiny number of women within a patriarchal society). Heavy lifting? If it’s so heavy I can’t lift it I can involve a friend, job sorted.

YABU - women owe men a debt of gratitude, we are so privileged (if you choose this option please explain why) and couldn’t manage without them.

YANBU - men fighting in wars, men protecting women (from men) are not female privileges.

Protect us from who?

Protecting from what, I wonder?

Exactly.

Men.

Which kind of defeats the purpose.
He's one of those who's terrified of women who don't need the likes of him.

What's HR's take on this particular colleague?

I'm a single parent. Can I order a man to do some heavy lifting for me ?

What does he think women do in the armed forces?

I know someone like this, I now tell him that I won't discuss or debate my humanity with them.
It's exhausting and ridiculous, isn't it.

I'm nearly 6ft and built like a brick shit house.
I could probably lift him.

No specific HR, it all goes through management.
He is otherwise good at his job, but personality-wise is an arsehole. Management advise to ignore and tbh aren’t really interested.

And does he happen to be ex army himself? 🤣

YANBU but YABU to attempt to change the dinosaur. Just ask him how he got here without a mother.

This

I find the kind of men who drone on like this are also usually depending on other men to fight in wars, protect them and sometimes even to do the heavy lifting.

I see often online "women want equality but they wont work in the mines" from men who also wont work in mines and conveniently forget that 1 million children around the world do work in mines, many of them girls. But apparently those girls don't count.

Definitely not ex army 😂

Oh the mines, I forgot about all the men slaving away down the mines!

Did women just decline to do wars and mines and not show up?

Or was there another group who had the power to decide what they could and couldn't do, and wouldn't let them get involved?

The FWR board once dug right down into this with a man going through all this script. It finally boiled down to him not liking having lived through a childhood full of toxic masculinity and having decided that if he'd been born a girl he'd have had the affection and excusing from all the ugly stuff that he'd lacked.

Why is anyone engaging with him? Every time he starts just say 'that's nice dear' then ignore him.
How does he even have time for all that arseholery?

I have no evidence but I’m sure that if women ruled the world there wouldn’t be half so many wars. Or any …..

He's a wanker. If he continues to drone, remind him that drones will soon be able to do all the state-sponsored slaughter, rendering his delightful murder-based celebration of masculinity out of date.

It's like that story about how women can't lift the standard bags of compost. But it was men who decided what was the standard size.

Wouldn't argue. I'd ask him when he was going to fight to my right to party.

Twat. If women were in charge there would be far less war, conflict and exploitation. It's men do that and women who want to be equal but in the patriarchy the only way to do that is to act like a man with male values. If women were in charge midwifes and carers would be paid more and useless footballers much much less.

Are you sure he isn't just trying to wind people up and get a bite... And has got a bite from you.

Well yes, men are more likely to fight in wars. Men also are more likely to start the wars

At the individual level, no man or woman can change the patriarchy and under the patriarchy yes men are in most countries still the ones conscripted to fight in wars. It’s not really a female privilege to not be conscripted though because the female role in wars was often to be mass raped and murdered. I’d rather be in a war with the training and weapons to fight, than be left to be a victim to enemy men with weapons….

As for who created the patriarchy, yes it was men, but this is where class comes into it. It was upper class men who created and then used the patriarchy to conscript working class men to die fighting wars that protected the interests of the upper class men. Mines, factories examples where class oppression also existed. So he’s not wrong that some men have been been oppressed by a patriarchy that they did not create and have no power to change.

But he’s wrong to say this means there is female privilege- patriarchy is worse on women.

Reminds me of a Facebook Post where a man asked, 'And what were the women doing when the men were down the mines all day'. A woman answered:'Probably at home looking after six children.'