Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“Men have to fight in wars and do the protecting and heavy lifting”

117 replies

DogEar · 05/06/2023 17:35

So says a male colleague as he monologues about female privilege.
I’m rather sick of it. I’ve moved offices over this but can still hear him droning on about women - the lazy entitled part of humanity.

I’ve argued - men fight in wars, do the protecting, do the heavy lifting, because this is the patriarchy - this is literally what has been created by men. He argues back harder, so I, and others in the office, have given up, yet he still drones on.

Apparently women can do nothing without men. Totally ignoring the many women who have had their inventions and discoveries stolen by men and not had any credit, including writers, composers, artists, scientists, astronomers, etc.

I recently read a convincing theory that Einstein’s work was largely carried out by his first wife, Mileva Einstein-Maric, who was his intellectual superior. I guess this is something we’ll never know, but at the very least she supported his work heavily, but very few know her name or her involvement in Einstein’s work.

If women need protecting it’s from men. If we go to war it’s men behind it (or a tiny number of women within a patriarchal society). Heavy lifting? If it’s so heavy I can’t lift it I can involve a friend, job sorted.

YABU - women owe men a debt of gratitude, we are so privileged (if you choose this option please explain why) and couldn’t manage without them.

YANBU - men fighting in wars, men protecting women (from men) are not female privileges.

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 05/06/2023 18:19

Urgh. I'm a trade union official so excuse me while I put my hat on. I'd write a complaint about him. He's - (Equality Act 2010)

'creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment'

On the grounds of sex.

Somebody needs to tell him to shut up and if he won't listen to you all, your management will need to tell him. He's actually breaking the law and they could be held liable if they won't deal it.

Men like this rely on women's silence.

Summerishereagain · 05/06/2023 18:19

Have you asked him which war he has fought in?

Surplus2requirements · 05/06/2023 18:23

Plenty of women on the front line fighting in Ukraine right now...literally right now

maslinpan · 05/06/2023 18:27

I'd be tempted to leave some Army Recruitment leaflets on his desk.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/06/2023 18:29

Who does he think does all the heavy "man" jobs in the homes of soldiers while they are off fighting the wars?
The wives.

The average man might be stronger than faster than the average woman. Doesn't mean they are more competent on average. Or stronger and faster on an individual basis.

Reality25 · 05/06/2023 18:29

YANBU regarding wars etc.

However, physical strength certainly has played a big role in humanity's development. And it's only fair to recognise men's unique contribution in this aspect.

A predator for example could only have been dealt with by sufficient strength and size. Hunting required sufficient stamina and strength.

But this is all in the past, we're beyond that now and women could easily thrive without men now, albeit less efficiently in the short term due to lack of strength. But long term who knows, maybe women would develop tools to compete while men wouldn't bother (like how in countries with cheap labour there's less R&D into automation because there's less motivation).

Catchasingmewithspiders · 05/06/2023 18:37

Women hunted too, it was men who decided they couldn't have done but there is plenty of evidence that they did

I'm not saying that men aren't stronger, but I am tired of Bob from accounts who couldn't lift a 50 pound weight droning on about how men are superior because they are stronger whilst sitting next to Shelia who weightlifts in her spare time and could lift his bodyweight.

dapsnotplimsolls · 05/06/2023 18:39

Someone's had way too much Tater Time.

originalglazedsingle · 05/06/2023 18:39

Boomboom22 · 05/06/2023 18:15

Twat. If women were in charge there would be far less war, conflict and exploitation. It's men do that and women who want to be equal but in the patriarchy the only way to do that is to act like a man with male values. If women were in charge midwifes and carers would be paid more and useless footballers much much less.

less war?

You haven't read a thread about the frequency of washing your beddings and towels recently, have you? 😂

NeverDropYourMooncup · 05/06/2023 18:43

Reality25 · 05/06/2023 18:29

YANBU regarding wars etc.

However, physical strength certainly has played a big role in humanity's development. And it's only fair to recognise men's unique contribution in this aspect.

A predator for example could only have been dealt with by sufficient strength and size. Hunting required sufficient stamina and strength.

But this is all in the past, we're beyond that now and women could easily thrive without men now, albeit less efficiently in the short term due to lack of strength. But long term who knows, maybe women would develop tools to compete while men wouldn't bother (like how in countries with cheap labour there's less R&D into automation because there's less motivation).

A predator for example could only have been dealt with by sufficient strength and size. Hunting required sufficient stamina and strength.

I think that intelligence, tools/weapons, caring for the animals that evolved into hunting dogs (I wonder who took care of the pups?) and co-operation/communication has more to do with our survival as a species than Men being marginally larger than a female and therefore able to take on a hungry Smilodon or a pissed off Boar. And females can have significantly greater stamina in some contexts (childbirth is rather gruelling and prolonged, after all) - those requiring extreme feats of endurance in particular. After all, they'd be the ones carrying the kids during migration (and probably breastfeeding at the same time).

Radiatorvalves · 05/06/2023 18:43

Not very inclusive is he? Sounds like he fell out of the 19th century. I bet he’s quite keen on the Empire but less keen on “woke”. A bit of a cliché really. Plenty of women in the forces who’d probably eat him for breakfast. 🙄

GoodChat · 05/06/2023 18:44

Which war did he fight in, then?

Ask him, if men are so much better than women, why he's doing a job with so many female equivalents and why he's not bettering himself.

FuckNuggets · 05/06/2023 18:47

Next time he drones on, ask him which wars he fought in. And if not, why not. Isn't he a man?

DogEar · 05/06/2023 18:48

DRS1970 · 05/06/2023 18:16

Are you sure he isn't just trying to wind people up and get a bite... And has got a bite from you.

To start off with probably, fair point.
No one bats an eyelid any more, yet he still goes on, triggered by whatever women hating drivel he’s read on Facebook or Twitter.

OP posts:
kljpl · 05/06/2023 18:52

How many wars has he fought in exactly?

DogEar · 05/06/2023 18:53

A predator for example could only have been dealt with by sufficient strength and size. Hunting required sufficient stamina and strength.

Women hunted too, stopping when pregnancy, childbirth, injury or age stopped them. Even history is rewritten to exclude women’s roles.

I believe when it comes to stamina in extreme circumstances women trump men due to them having more brown fat.
I’m also sure I’ve read that much of the hunting that took place took stealth and cunning, rather than brute force and strength.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 05/06/2023 18:53

My DSis served in Afghanistan. How does he explain that hmm? 🤷🏼‍♀️

DogEar · 05/06/2023 18:56

Radiatorvalves · 05/06/2023 18:43

Not very inclusive is he? Sounds like he fell out of the 19th century. I bet he’s quite keen on the Empire but less keen on “woke”. A bit of a cliché really. Plenty of women in the forces who’d probably eat him for breakfast. 🙄

He’s very keen on woke issues, assuming you mean the modern take on wokism. In that respect he’s a typical lefty man.

He has been complained about, but management aren’t interested.

OP posts:
NettleTea · 05/06/2023 18:58

DogEar · 05/06/2023 18:53

A predator for example could only have been dealt with by sufficient strength and size. Hunting required sufficient stamina and strength.

Women hunted too, stopping when pregnancy, childbirth, injury or age stopped them. Even history is rewritten to exclude women’s roles.

I believe when it comes to stamina in extreme circumstances women trump men due to them having more brown fat.
I’m also sure I’ve read that much of the hunting that took place took stealth and cunning, rather than brute force and strength.

they probably just used the men as pack animals to carry the carcass home

although to be fair, in those times both sexes were likely to be in top physical health most of the time

Have you read 'when god was a woman' by Merlin Stone. And archaeological books by Marija Gimbutas (who was practically ostricised for her theories, but lately has been proven correct by DNA analysis) Suggesting that this patriarchial role of brute force and hierarchy is a relatively new thing in human history.

DogEar · 05/06/2023 19:01

NettleTea · 05/06/2023 18:58

they probably just used the men as pack animals to carry the carcass home

although to be fair, in those times both sexes were likely to be in top physical health most of the time

Have you read 'when god was a woman' by Merlin Stone. And archaeological books by Marija Gimbutas (who was practically ostricised for her theories, but lately has been proven correct by DNA analysis) Suggesting that this patriarchial role of brute force and hierarchy is a relatively new thing in human history.

I haven’t read them, but something similar (that went into maternal mitochondrial DNA), I’ll add them to my wish list though, they sound fascinating.

OP posts:
Fandabedodgy · 05/06/2023 19:03

Tell that to the women in Ukraine.

What an arse hole

What are HR doing to tackle this misogyny on the workplace

strawberrywhisk · 05/06/2023 19:04

It was the women left behind that kept the country going, one of my grandmothers worked in an ammunitions factory and the other one was a land girl during WW2

Tinkerbyebye · 05/06/2023 19:10

Just have some stock phrases ready so when he starts

oh George at least she’s giving you something to moan about, what would you do if women didn’t post?
Etc

OneFlipflopleft · 05/06/2023 19:14

If men had to do child birth, after pregnancy, and before 2 years of trying to get your body/mind back, I think there would be a baby-machine invented a long time ago. The whole 'thing' would have been dubbed inhumane and middle age torture, can't be done, big no no. But for women, ofcourse, and stop the whining😆 that just pisses me off every time. Men saying how they are stronger. Really? You can lift more probably, yes. But can you handle anything else, like the flu, for example