Busy all Summer?

[Makeawish123]

I feel abit daft about this but just wondering what is normal! I have a group of 4 friends and we are very close. We all have older kids so no little ones. As usual it is very difficult to make plans as everyone has busy lives, work, kids etc..including me. I asked everyone about availability for a bbq and we got a few dates that most of us could do. 1 of my friends has announced that she now has no free time at weekends until the end of September. This has got me thinking. I have a few things planned- a hen weekend, a holiday etc.. but still have alot of free days over the summer. Am I deeply unpopular or is it normal to have such a full social life???

no free dates the whole summer ?? No I wouldn’t think that is the norm nor would I like it

I know some super-planners like this! Between work, weddings, holidays, family visits and birthdays weekends can be madness.

Weeknight bbqs can be fun if you re all near each other and do “bring a dish”. Informal and easy, a casual meet up with simple food and long evenings in the summer sunshine.

Depends - if you have family you visit/meet, holidays booked, theatre/concerts etc.
I don't think I am particularly busy but I don't have many completely free weekends now until August.

I think she isn't as busy as she wants you to believe.

Perhaps she just doesn't like barbecues?

Just go ahead without her.

Does she have regular, long-standing weekend commitments like a club or hobby or something?

No I think that's pretty unusual. Is she someone who only like one outing a weekend, so if she's out Saturday night she doesn't go out Sunday?
I'm assuming the BBQ is one afternoon/evening so she doesn't need the whole weekend free?

As a BBQ is a seasonal thing I'd just go ahead with those who can make it in the summer. You may find she miraculously remembers what she had on the 1st weekend in July doesn't actually take up the whole weekend!

So one person out of 5 was busy for 6 weekends in a row?
What would that make you ask if it was normal? It's neither normal nor abnormal, she's just just busy or at least.

Its pretty easy to fill up all the summer weekends if you have kids, 2 might be on holiday, then another 2 spent visiting grandparents, then you only need 1 or 2 commitments and you're basically full.

It's very possible considering they have older kids/teenagers. There's normally something happening with my teenagers every weekend on top of family visits etc. No it's not unusual.

It is more than 6 weeks - it's June, July, Aug and most of Sept. Its not a problem - I was just curious as to whether many people had this many plans or whether I was very unsociable and boring...

I think I've currently got four free weekends until September and I wouldn't say I had a particularly busy social life. Holidays account for 3 weekends, we've got two weddings, two family birthdays, a trip to a show one Saturday night, a night out with the girls, DH is on a stag do one weekend and has a business trip to the US so he's missing one Sunday.

Sometimes it's hard to get all of a group together unless it's a set date like a birthday. Just carry on without her.

Since when was June to the end is September 6 weeks!
It's more like 16 weeks

I do not have things booked every weekend but I am very reticent to book weekends over the summer because the week is so incredibly busy that we need some quiet weekends to recover.

DH and I both work full time, I've got plans and back up plans sorted with holiday clubs, family, friends, Brownie camp.... for weekdays which will involve lots of rushing round mornings and evenings to get everyone where they need to be on time. A UK holiday at the beginning of the summer holidays, a weekend away at the end of the summer holidays.

We need some weekends where we just sit and snooze in the garden and listen out for the ice cream man.

There was one summer (when all our friends got married) when DH and I sat down with calendars to try to book a week away, and realised there wasn’t a week where we had both weekends free (or even could do Sunday morning to Saturday night) from Easter to end of September due to weddings, hen dos, stag dos, a christening, a significant family birthday we’d agreed to go to and a rugby 7s tournament dh had agreed to do.

we’ve never had that happen since, but we have had a 2 month run when we weren’t available as a full family on weekends with kids activities/sports/weekend work scheduled etc.

Life gets busy sometimes.

Some people just get off on having a million acquaintances and as a result, have loads of people inviting them here, there & everywhere! Makes them feel wanted & important. I had a best friend for 20 years who ended up like this. She once admitted to me that she turned her phone on silent deliberately so that she'd then return to her phone to find lots of missed calls & texts and that made her feel important. Looking back, she always saw her time as more important than anyone elses. She would even go to doctor appointments 2/3 mins late as she said it made her feel good that people had to wait for her
OP, I bet this so called 'friend' of yours (as she really isn't a good one) has a Diary/Journal and is 'booking' people in like a Royal PA

Her Royal Highness shall squeeze you in, on the second Thursday of October at 6pm-6:15pm - DON'T BE LATE (but expect her to be at least 5/10 mins late, naturally).

Really quite disturbing behaviour tbh

I’m currently booked up for all of July and August and most of June and September and I don’t even have kids so I can definitely see how it could happen quite easily when adding in ferrying about other people and their extra events. We’ve got a couple of holidays, a festival, various day trips, events, birthdays, seeing friends etc.

My summer is pretty full but I have free weekends. Most friends have the odd free weekend too but dates never match up.

I said YANBU but neither is she. A few holidays can easily take out a lot of the summer.

Maybe they just don't want to meet up but this is a polite way of saying it? I really don't like having a busy diary and frequently say 'sounds lovely but sorry I can't fit it in' or blame caring for an elderly parent .... I just don't like being 'booked up' all the time. My favourite thing to do is to go to the outdoor pool and I hate committing to an event and then waking up to a lovely sunny day and knowing I can't go to the pool.

I have a number of free weekends before the end of the summer specifically so that I can chill and do nothing. To anyone else my summer is already fully booked up.

I think that's an excuse for 'I don't like barbecues' or the hope for a better offer and so saying no instead of last minute. Hopefully not someone being coercively controlled by a husband or partner as to what they do.

I know people like this and actually DH is always trying to fill all the weekends with stuff. Having no plans sometimes is important to me so I do have to make sure they aren't all filled.

I don't bother with 'friends' like that anymore because they've made it clear where their priorities are.

Just set the date for the barbecue when it’s most convenient for you op and people will come or they won’t. Trying to fit around everyone else’s dates makes it much more complicated. And if they can’t come this time, they will come next. And if you want to, maybe add a couple of new friends to the mix.

It depends what you mean by summer, school holidays is only 6 weeks, I'm doing nothing the weekend before school starts, and won't.
We are away for ten days over two weekends, and have two weddings two more weekends. That only leaves two weekends, one we have a long standing weekend away planned with friends, that's already been postponed twice so that's not being changed. That only leaves one weekend free and I'm on call so depending what the plans are I can do them if I'm local to home and not drinking.
It's June, it's not unheard of for people to be busy for July and August

I was going to say the same.
I hate being madly busy with social things, so for example, if I was going out on a Friday night, and got invited to something on the Saturday night, I’d say I was busy (unless it was something very specific and important like a wedding or similar) .

If I was going away for a week, I wouldn’t want to commit to anything for several days after getting back.
If I had an appointment at 9am, I’d probably say I was busy the night before.