Busy all Summer?

[Makeawish123]

I feel abit daft about this but just wondering what is normal! I have a group of 4 friends and we are very close. We all have older kids so no little ones. As usual it is very difficult to make plans as everyone has busy lives, work, kids etc..including me. I asked everyone about availability for a bbq and we got a few dates that most of us could do. 1 of my friends has announced that she now has no free time at weekends until the end of September. This has got me thinking. I have a few things planned- a hen weekend, a holiday etc.. but still have alot of free days over the summer. Am I deeply unpopular or is it normal to have such a full social life???

I used to be more spontaneous but planning ahead is much cheaper for weekends away, means you can book better seats for events, etc

Spontaneous doesn’t work when kids are involved - clubs/sports have to be signed up for and then worked round, party invites are sent out in advance and need to be confirmed, days out or trips away in school holiday times are often sold out if you leave it to the day to book, and most places charge much more for “on the day” tickets.

I don't go to boring things @GCalltheway, but the kind of things we get invited to aren't the kind you plan an outfit for unless it is a wedding.

I also have a deeply unsociable husband so our social life is pretty quiet anyway.

Yes, once your children have flown the nest weekends become far less busy.

I am very booked up for the next few months and I'd be quite pissed off if one of my mates had that attitude. I don't leave weekends free in case I am summoned somewhere or in case I'd offend someone by not being free. I book the things I want to do, for me this summer it's a lot of gigs, a festival, a holiday, friends staying and an actual job in between all that. Plus some weekends you need to do boring grown up things or just have an actual break.

My teens are independent these days so I don’t need to worry too much about them. We all have busy weekends.
It wouldn’t occur to me that a friend might be annoyed if I can’t make things. I would always try and come if I can.

It wouldn’t occur to me that a friend might be annoyed if I can’t make things. I would always try and come if I can.

Same here. Our friends aren't like that either.

I work part time, so my weekends aren't crammed with the kind of drudgery that anyone who works full time has to deal with, and DH is semi retired. We probably do more during the week than at weekends.

I have a friend like this. One summer she had 12 weddings 😂

She went to quite a fancy boarding school and has quite a fancy background and had a stately home growing up etc. I think that's maybe why? Don't know. We have loads of free weekends over the summer ATM but they won't stay that way. I do arrange things a bit more last minute

Exactly! My friends are very busy too and would in no way take offence.
We are all good enough friends for them to know I would be there like a shot if I could be.

We love fun weekends - always have done.

It depends on the year.

Some years I have most weekends free June through to September.
This year I have 4 out of 13 free, and at least one of those I'm expecting to be visiting a friend, and another seeing my parents, but we haven't finalised dates yet. So I'll probably be fully booked in a couple of weeks' time.

What I find most years is I have one weekend where there's about 3-4 things that I really want to go to that clash. Sometimes that's all I have booked on weekends in the summer, juts one very busy weekend where I can't do everything.

We had 6 weddings two summers running, then no weddings for the next 3-4 years. It's the way things go.

We love fun weekends - always have done.

I love fun weekends. DH usually doesn't. He is deeply introverted and needs a lot of down time and is happy with his own company most of the time.

We went to a wedding this weekend, but he managed very well after consuming a lot of wine

I have a couple of friends like this, but they're definitely in the minority.

Both have lots of friends, lots of hobbies (that involve planning in advance), and are fairly well off (lots of holidays/weekends away).

I like a bit more spontaneity but they do have a lot of fun. And I enjoy their company, when I manage to schedule it!

My friends are a mix. Some ARE busy every weekend, could be hobby, could be studying, or must meeting up with families. Others are more last-minute.

Parents of younger children who have to juggle work and summer childcare have to be organised, I know some children who have not got one weekend "free" until September. Sometimes it just means they are booked to spend a couple of weeks chilling with relative, grand-parents or uncle/ auntie, and having their cousins around for another couple of weeks to reciprocate.

It depends if you are inviting me, on my own, for something local, or if you are looking to find a day when we would need the whole day (to include travel) and you want all the family there.

The first I could do, the second is much more of a challenge, as each of us have commitments, which are not the same commitments.
If any one of the family is involved in something that happens regularly - from playing a sport to being part of a Church, to having a season ticket to watch a regular sport, then you are on the back foot before you begin. Throw in different family members being away at different times, and you can see how a calendar fills up.

No that's not usual and I would personally be very stressed in that situation, but then some people thrive on a busy social calendar.
We've got a hectic few weeks and don't have a free weekend now until the start of August, but that's VERY unusual for us (and stressing me out a bit - I've had a very quiet half term to build up the strength!)

Seems pretty normal to me, holidays, birthdays, weddings in the diary etc.

That's what our summer is looking like (even thought after a busy summer last year I vowed to keep this year quieter) just checked and we have 4 free weekends between now and September which I'm desperately wanting to keep free. Me and DP only have two friends each so I've no idea how it even happens!! It's a combination of family weddings/sporting events/2 weekends with my sister/couple of things with friends already 'booked in'. We will inevitably end up doing things with friends on the weekends we are free but I'm refusing to book anything else in advance, I'm also desperate for a niki day but no idea where that will fit.

I'm not no but there's no dates at all now where we are free at he weekends as a family.

Same here. Life is so much better without them.

Our weekend schedule gets full in the summer although it's less about socialising than theatres and concerts, festivals and days out and trips away. If we didn't book when tickets are released, it would get sold out or we'd be left with crap seat options. DH works Mon-Fri so we book those events at the weekend - it's only nine weekends through July and August so not difficult to fill up with a holiday, weekends away, a festival, birthday events and a few booked events.

Yes I think this is our issue, book tickets for things through Autumn/Winter and then it all happens at once over summer!

My husband works 1/4 weekends so between that, holidays and the kids stuff we don't have a lot of fully free weekends. But have the odd morning / afternoon or day when some of us are free. Still putting stuff in the diary is tricky!

It all depends on how she wants to spend her time. Some people can pack more in a weekend than others. I can always find time for people I want to find time for

do you genuinely expect your friends to refuse to plan anything just to keep their calendar free in case you might invite them for a barbecue?

I voted yanbu, and i stand by that, but i used to know a bunch of people who were governed by their very full diaries. Socialising was a majir diary feat, I hated it, no room for spontaneity, always grateful if something got cancelled, which made me feel like i didn't want to be doing all that diarised fun. I slimmed down my social world so i now have plenty of time to unwind, and see friends, and often i can be spontaneous. It's a much happier way to live for me and i have more time to invest in hobbies, which i think makes me more rounded and calmer as opposed to the constant chat.

Fuck me, I'm massively antisocial by some peoples levels on here 😄 I literally have like 6 things booked in socially between now and September!! And i have 3 kids!