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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being told who your baby looks like

110 replies

Emfrancesca · 05/06/2023 04:01

Is it just me or does anyone else feel annoyed when someone from your other half's family says that your baby looks like their dad or someone from that side of the family?!
It's like I grew this baby for 9 months and for what? 🤣

OP posts:
SadieContrary · 05/06/2023 04:07

Sorry but I think you’ll need to let this one go. You may have grown the baby but it’s half of your partner and genetics run deep. I see my DHs sisters in my DD but I also see resemblances from my side

Wineismybestfriend · 05/06/2023 04:10

Me. It really irks me. Only because it’s evident that DC is my absolute living imagine. And any time we are around his MIL (super often, weekly basis) she’ll say, my friend said DP is DC double, so and so said it too. We were out for brunch on Saturday and she said to her friend. Do you still think DC looks like DP, I think so too. 🤣🤣 I just laugh internally lol

wildfirewonder · 05/06/2023 04:10

Often people just say this for something to say, but maybe in your case there is a genuine resemblance?

People are just excited to have a new baby in the family, don't read too much into it.

Wineismybestfriend · 05/06/2023 04:10

Image**

LemongrassLollipop · 05/06/2023 04:16

I get you but sometimes children really do resemble one or the other parent.
And most people pass inane comments when it comes to babies.

In the words of Elsa.. let it go 🎶 😉

HirplesWithHaggis · 05/06/2023 04:18

My first grandchild, everyone said how much he looked like his dad. I see far more of his mum! My third is the absolute spit of my paternal grandfather.

ChristmasJumpers · 05/06/2023 04:27

My DD is a copy and paste of me and everyone comments on it from both sides of the family. I quite like it but I do wonder if it ever starts to get old for DH. He says not though. Occasionally they'll say "she looked like DH with that expression" - I can never see it myself but it doesn't bother me

Jaberwockky · 05/06/2023 04:28

People just say shit for the sake of saying something 😁

People say DN who lives with us looks just like me … we are not biologically related and he’s my polar opposite facially and in colouring.

Rtmhwales · 05/06/2023 04:30

Everybody tells me DS is the spit of DH. DH adopted DS (he's biologically mine). He looks more like DH than my two DSS.

LovelaceBiggWither · 05/06/2023 04:31

My MIL said our son was the spitting image of DH's stepfather...

NurseEssie · 05/06/2023 04:35

Completely the opposite here.
Everyone says the son is the image of me (he is) and I would have loved for him to be the image of his dad Grin
I'm now trying to convince everyone that he started to look like his dad.

NurseEssie · 05/06/2023 04:36

And I do get a bit uncomfortable for some reason when people comment how much DS looks like me. I've had someone even say 'is your DH a even the dad? Nothing of him in your DC!' Which I found very rude

Fedupwife28 · 05/06/2023 04:40

It doesn’t bother me personally but perhaps that’s because my 5 month old is the image of her dad, so there’s no denying it. I haven’t met one single person who’s said she looks like me, family or otherwise, so I just say things like “I know! Who knew DH would look so beautiful as a girl!”. She does seem to look more like me as she gets older though. Don’t take it personally, people aren’t trying to hurt your feelings.

Violasaremyfavourite · 05/06/2023 04:41

My sons look exactly like my husband and one is so dissimilar to me, somebody thought he was adopted. I did end up looking like my mother but I was an enormously fat sumo baby and my mother heard the matron, who in those days visited the new mothers, telling the nurse that she, my mother, couldn't possibly be the mother of baby Viola. I was very fat, had hair that grew in a strange peak, and had a prominent birth mark on my face and my parents told me that they thought I was so beautiful.

Remaker · 05/06/2023 05:00

My kids look exactly like my husband, although DD is a tiny bit more like me as she’s got older. But DS is just the double of DH.

I have an elderly aunt who will always find some feature in my kids from my side of the family. She’s imagining it haha. It doesn’t worry me one bit who they look like, I know they’re mine.

Funkyblues101 · 05/06/2023 05:03

Rtmhwales · 05/06/2023 04:30

Everybody tells me DS is the spit of DH. DH adopted DS (he's biologically mine). He looks more like DH than my two DSS.

I like this 😁

anormalperson · 05/06/2023 05:15

I don't mind at all when people say DC are like DH but DH's family like to say how much my DC look like random relatives I've never met from their side that happen to have the same colouring as me as if it makes much more sense for them to look like these people...

marblemad · 05/06/2023 05:28

I think you're being abit dramatic, if they see a resemblance they see a resemblance. You can't ALWAYS control the narrative OP

Upanddownthemerrygoround · 05/06/2023 05:34

It’s something people say. Annoying but you’ve just got to let it wash over you.

my (male) friend was told repeatedly when they were born how much his kids look like him. Hardly anyone knew they’d been donor-sperm conceived….

FeigningConcern · 05/06/2023 05:41

I find this stuff interesting so always comment on who seems to have got what from where. I've said it about my DS his whole life. In fact only the other day I told him he's looking more and more like his dad everyday!

SkyandSurf · 05/06/2023 05:41

Lord, people who complain about things like this are probably people who would also complain if someone wasn't showing enough interest in their baby.

Other people's babies are boring. There is only so much you can say/ask.

Just be glad they tried to make conversation with you and lighten up.

Did you have a baby with the goal of cloning yourself? That's quite narcissistic.

Florin · 05/06/2023 05:48

I don’t see the problem some kids do resemble one parent more than the other. I showed a picture to my own mother who completely refused to believe a photo was of my husband not of our son. They look identical at the same age.

CurtainsForBea · 05/06/2023 05:51

I think (in my case at least) it comes down to how you feel about the commenter generally.

I have maternal extended family (aunts etc) who like to say knowingly and authoritatively that this child or that child looks exactly like some random far off distant family member. But I am not particularly fond of this side of the family and find them unpleasant and toxic. So anything they say is going to piss me right off. Not least because they hold fast to this strange belief that 'family is everything' despite being absuive and aggressive and 'family' only means blood and anyone who marries in is not 'family'.

So them commenting irritates me.

DH's side? Well, there was a huge and excited discussion beforehand about who the Dcs would take after in terms of things like skin colour and tone and if various very common physical traits would be passed on. I did not mind that at all because I love them.

TeenDivided · 05/06/2023 06:09

I think it's partly a bonding thing, finding someone on their side who the baby resembles.

That said I had people saying my DDs were like me, and they are adopted which always made us smile internally.

loislovesstewie · 05/06/2023 06:12

I shouldn't worry; all babies look like Winston Churchill. But seriously , people often look at the baby and think they see a resemblance to one parent. My oldest looks like his dad, my youngest looks like me. They always have done. Genetics are weird , the way features are handed down is just random. Each baby will have a resemblance to some relative.