Being told who your baby looks like

[Emfrancesca]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel annoyed when someone from your other half's family says that your baby looks like their dad or someone from that side of the family?!
It's like I grew this baby for 9 months and for what? 🤣

I married my DH because I quite like him. It makes me happy to see him in our children, I don't resent it!

It makes perfect sense, though. Because of those nine tiring months no-one can deny the powerful biological link that you have to your baby. A visual resemblance goes some way to providing a sense of this link for the father.

I also think it depends what side of the family you're on - my MIL thinks my nephew is the spitting imagine of his dad, personally I think he looks more like SIL! But I didn't see my BIL as a baby (which obviously she did!) so I'd imagine he probably looks incredibly similar to her, but to me I can't see it. It's a weird one!

I’m brunette and green eyed, my DP is red haired and brown eyed, our 2 children are blonde and blue eyed, I don’t think they look like either of us 😂

It really irritates me when women get all stroppy when they are told a baby looks like their dad. Don't they know that the baby is 50% their dad's genes? I guess they too think the baby's dad is somewhat attractive to have chosen to reproduce with him? Sorry, but it's an immature, first-world response IMO. As the baby grows, it will develop and change, and likenesses will become more or less apparent. And not to mention personality traits that will come through too. My daughter looks like like my DH but is more like me in nature, and my son the opposite!

When I had dd we took her to Meet my dh's grandparents, his nan said doesn't she look just like name( their daughter, dh's mum) when she was a baby. She doesn't look anything like mil. She is the spit of me, still is now. You wouldn't no dd and dh where even related.
I think people say it cos they want there is be a resemblance between them and the child, they can say it doesn't mean it's true. Did piss me off though when every one else is saying she looks like me

🤣🤣🤣 sorry to make you so angry so early in the morning

Kind of! My son is blonde like his dad whereas I am very far featured and that's all that people notice! The kid has my eyes down to a tee ( albeit his are a hazel brown not dark brown) and my smile but all people notice is the hair colour!

Frustrating when we are out together and people say oh gosh where did that bright blonde hair come from and I'm like he has a whole other parent!

People do often say things for something to say. I have often had people tell me how very much my stepdaughter looks like me, when they think she is my daughter...

I remember getting v irritated with MiL with my eldest as she was constantly saying how much DS looked like DH - everything DS did she would say was just like DH - you would think I had nothing to do with it!! However, a couple of years down the line I've learnt to chill out & let it go. MiL was just excited & her only frame of reference is DH so of course she is not going to see any similarities between me & the children.

It can almost feel like their claiming them as part of their family, and diminishing yours.

Exactly!

Mind you I don't like my ILs so that obviously colours it!

People aren't that I treated in you or your baby "that you grew". Its just people thinking of something inane to say whilst feigning interest. Get over it .

My new great nephew looks like his dad (my newphew) according to his mum’s family so often it’s said because it’s entirely factual.

My own mother in law was insistent that my son was the image of his dad when he is patently me with testerone.

Nobody cares who the baby looks like. They're just being poliand trying to show an interest. The truth is that most people look like a vague mix of their parents.

FIL tells everyone that will listen how much my son looks like him and his brother when they were young. Apparently it's the strong family genes. Ignoring the small fact of him being my partners step father and having no biological link to my son at all.

Ehhh I feel you on this because it is annoying; but as someone with an 18-month-old who is apparently the spitting image of his Dad to 95% of people... I'd let it go. I must get told by at least a stranger a day that he looks just like his Dad.

It is, somehow, extra annoying when it comes from the in-laws, but I think that's because rather than saying that he's got my eyes, for example; they'd say he's got unusual eyes for their family and he must have got them from a specific uncle six centuries ago...

TBF those are some very strong family genes!

@Grumpyfroghats they are pretty impressive 😂

Better start preparing yourself now for when she says her first words and can say ‘dada’ months before she manages ‘mama’…

It doesn't bother me apart from being somewhat amusing. My youngest does look like his father but has my eye colour. One relative in particular almost staggers backwards and gasps how he's the image of his dad every time we see her 😂. It's just something people say. My cousin used to get it all the time as well. He's adopted.

I love those comments! Ppl will see the person they know best especially older generations who remember the baby version. Its a lovely way for ILs to bond with a new baby. I often find myself asking even now who they look like, sometimes there is a hint of an uncle or cousin. I was adopted so it was extra exciting for me I think. Also had no idea what would come out when I had no genetic history so was hugely relieved with what I got!

People see what they want to see. The only thing babies look like is other babies.
They're all wrinkly squishy tiny people and they don't get their individual features for months. Maybe a year.

It doesn't bother me. People say much worse as kids get older op!

Oh it’s just basic chat . Genuinely couldn’t get worked up about it .

I am not surprised to see that most of the irritation is related to MILs and other in-laws and I wonder if those pp have generally quite strained relationships to their partners' families.

Please try not to let it bother you. In most cases it's a pretty wonderful thing to have a strong resemblance to a parent. A friend of mine lost his dad very young and it has been an enormous comfort to him to see the family resemblance in his own children. Passing on our appearance to our descendants is the closest any of us will ever come to immortality.