To say something about language spoken at work

[Babbleoff]

Im in an english speaking country. I have started working in an office where the majority of other employees are from another country. They speak their own language all of the time. I mean, ALL of the time!! Whether its office banter or actual work issues, all in their language.

I am very experienced, have been employed for my specialist skills and am relatively senior, altho its a small company with a fairly flat structure.

I am feeling very excluded and struggling to fit in due to the fact that i dont speak the other language. I find it rude that in a small and close working environment no consideration is given to english speakers. The other couple of english speakers are much more junior than me and i don't think they'd say anything.

I make an effort to talk to people. On occasions a conversation i have started gets picked up by someone else and they take over and continue in their language. At lunch they speak their language even if im sitting with them.

AIBU to raise this with my boss? I feel like a dick suggesting people dont speak their own language, but ive been upset almost to the point of tears about this. I can go all day without being included in any conversations unless i start them myself. I feel so stupid even about that because ive been working for yrs and have very thick skin (bit of a cutthroat industry).

i should also point out that speaking their language is not necessary for the job and was not a requirement or mentioned during hiring process.

I used to teach EFL. I don't remember one adult student who wouldn't know that this is rude. Not that I had to tell them, they just had the manners to know it was unacceptable.
As for Welsh, I used to live in Wales so I have Welsh friends who would consider their first language Welsh. Even so, they would never isolate a colleague like that and would speak English in those circumstances. Anyone who insists on speaking Welsh just to make a point is actually a bit of an arse. Fortunately, I think the the overwhelming majority are far more respectful than that.

Is it a foreign company with most employees being from that country and you being the only native English speaker? Did you know this when you accepted the job?
Unfortunately it’s going to be very hard to enforce, even if the boss does order them to speak English (which they should as a company policy), they will keep slipping back and banter is just more comfortable/natural in their language.
I would look for a new job tbh, you can always leave this one out of your CV if it’s been really short.

This is what I’d do

I'd try to learn the language, use duo lingo or buy a book and at lunch time ask them for help.

Is it polish…I know what you mean tbh

Really? You do know you'll never learn a language that fluently to understand a conversation often using colloquialisms being spoken rapidly from duo lingo. Good luck to you though if you're in that position.

I'd probably speak to your boss. It might be that they just don't realise that it's bothering you or that you are finding them rude.
For context, I work in Germany. Most of my colleagues speak English throughout the day at work and dont know much German. If it's a mix of colleagues, we tend to use English since most of the Germans understand English. If it's just German ones, they will speak German amongst themselves. It's not an issue. If anyone doesn't understand, you just ask for something to be repeated/explained either slowly or in the other language.

(Apart from that, some also happily chat in Spanish, if amongst fellow Spanish-speakers.)

Spot the monolinguals! It takes years to learn a language, even for children who go to live in a foreign country it takes months before they start to speak. There is no way that the OP could learn the language this way unless she was highly motivated and put in hours of personal study.

OP, they are being really rude and you need somebody higher up to remind them that they should speak English when there is an English speaker around.

No way will they switch to English if it's not their mother tongue

Not true at all. I work in an office with lots of speakers of different European languages. Yes people chat in their mother tongue at the coffee machine but not in the actual office environment. For example, two German women sit next to each other. They always speak English when discussing work. As do the French, Spanish, Italian and Polish speakers.

I’d speak to HR, this is exclusion and bullying. Everyone should be using a common language in the work place. As you are in England this should obviously be English.

You’re not a dick. It’s not allowed in my place of work

I've been in this exact situation. All my colleagues were French, and spoke french in the office, despite it being mentioned at my interview that English was spoken in the office. I speak some french, but not enough to keep up with 7 native speakers!
I spoke to my MD and said that it was making me feel like I couldn't integrate into the team, I was missing out on vital information because there were so many conversations that I couldn't follow, and I thought he may be better off finding another french speaker. My skills were important to the company, and he was keen not to lose me, so he called a meeting and said that from that day forward, English was the language spoken in the office, and no-one was to speak French for anything business related. He then said that he would not stop anyone speaking french in their breaks, but that it was extremely rude, and he thought better of every person there!
The situation improved tenfold. They still had the odd flurry of french when they were having heated arguments (regular occurrence), but I didn't mind that at all, as I didn't want to be involved in that anyway! If they were in the breakout room at lunchtime, they spoke french, but if I walked in, they reverted to english perfectly happily.
I think they were just so used to speaking french when everyone there was french, that it simply didn't occur to them that it was a bit of an issue

Is your job one where you could work from home? Not that I’m saying that should happen but one of the main reasons working in person is advocated is the chance to interact and learn informally. This is being cut off for you. Just saying in case this is an angle you could take with boss.

i agree people could resent being ‘told’ though. Is there anyone you get on well with or, say, have lots of meetings with who you could raise this with? Just in a kind of ‘I’m really struggling’ way.

I do feel for you. I worked overseas in an English speaking working environment where the majority of people shared a first language that wasn’t English. Everyone spoke English when other only-English speakers were present. There was a bit of banter in the other language. People were lovely and did everything they could to make everyone feel included/ welcome. It’s a shame your colleagues aren’t like this.

I agree with this. I don't think you are BU to be frustrated with the situation but if you say something it will make things really awkward. Ask them again if they'll speak in English when it's about work but | wouldn't say anything about casual conversations (as much as I agree they're being rude).

No way .

YANBU at all. Even as a student when I worked in the hospitality industry with lots of Eastern European colleagues, only English was tolerated unless there was no one else around i.e if two polish polish speaking individuals were paired they could speak polish but if I entered the room they would have to switch to English. It is the same in the hospital I work in now. It can be very very isolating to be continually left out of conversations and make it difficult to build working relationships.

Please don’t justify yourself.

I’m sure you’ve got dozens of things you’d prioritise over learning some random language you’re never going to have any need for, beyond this job.

I think it was a reasonable assumption - it looked enormously like you were deliberately answering a slightly different question to what had been asked by saying "I'm in the UK" when you were asked if you were in England.

I'd still think it was enormously rude of them but I don't think I could complain about colleagues speaking Welsh in Wales.

I had this at university, a lot of Chinese students would stick together as a huddle and only speak Chinese. They’d refuse to speak to other class mates in English and participate in group tasks with us, then at the same time complain their English isn’t improving.

It’s no good reading about the language, if you’re not going to practice it by speaking. If I went to say Spain, I would learn how to speak Spanish and try my best with it even if I mess up the pronunciation etc with my English accent! That’s the only way I will learn.

FWIW I’m of Indian heritage, bought up in the UK - I can speak English, Punjabi and Hindi.

Ps, I wouldn’t be happy about a workplace like this. I’d be looking to leave and state my reasons why.

They are excluding the op, it's a recognised form of bullying.

It is the Uk.
They can speak very good English so they probably know they are being rude. It is akin to whispereing behind their hand about you.
I would make comment to the boss.

I would also say to the staff that you feel excluded and could they please speak English so that you are not offended. They might be simply ignorant of good manners.

That sounds awful @Babbleoff I'd hate that, I'd feel so excluded. You're not being unreasonable.

Why should she?

This - it's very rude!

If it were in the reverse ie they did not speak English, but you and other colleagues did and didn't speak their language in front of you even though you were able, they'd rightly complain about it.

I think it's fair enough if no English speakers are present, or if it's something technical they need to tell each other but don't know the English to express (though how would they ever learn it if they didn't ask?), fair enough, but in general, no. They speak so that everyone can understand. If it's a private conversation, then they go somewhere else, because even then it feels dismissive.

I used to share a research room with several other researchers includinga lovely Indian doctor who always spoke English, except on one occasion when she had to take a phone call from a family member and then she spoke Hindi. I knew it was a private call but it still felt as though I was being shut out (silly, I know) and also I felt uncomfortable being present during a private call even though I hadn't got a clue what it was about (even silver, I know) so I went out to the photocopier for a few minutes.

At the end of the call she said "Sorry - that was Mummy". Perhaps her mother couldn't speak English - but it was private anyway and none of my business, but I was very surprised about how "dismissed" I felt, even though I knew that that wasn't the reason at all.

(Normally on the rare occasion a private call came through we'd just nip out of the room, or if it was on the landline say "Sorry - would you mind . . . ?"

Until that happened I had no idea how belittling something like that can feel. It's surprising.

*even sillier, not even silver