To say something about language spoken at work

[Babbleoff]

Im in an english speaking country. I have started working in an office where the majority of other employees are from another country. They speak their own language all of the time. I mean, ALL of the time!! Whether its office banter or actual work issues, all in their language.

I am very experienced, have been employed for my specialist skills and am relatively senior, altho its a small company with a fairly flat structure.

I am feeling very excluded and struggling to fit in due to the fact that i dont speak the other language. I find it rude that in a small and close working environment no consideration is given to english speakers. The other couple of english speakers are much more junior than me and i don't think they'd say anything.

I make an effort to talk to people. On occasions a conversation i have started gets picked up by someone else and they take over and continue in their language. At lunch they speak their language even if im sitting with them.

AIBU to raise this with my boss? I feel like a dick suggesting people dont speak their own language, but ive been upset almost to the point of tears about this. I can go all day without being included in any conversations unless i start them myself. I feel so stupid even about that because ive been working for yrs and have very thick skin (bit of a cutthroat industry).

i should also point out that speaking their language is not necessary for the job and was not a requirement or mentioned during hiring process.

I work in a school where 90% of the kids and 50% of the staff speak another language. Most staff speak to the same language. If they are chatting in twos and threes in the staff room they might use their own language but never in a way that has felt exclusionary as they are having a chat. All wider communication is in English unless specifically talking to a child or parent that can't communicate what they need to effectively in English.
I think you are well within your right to say that all work Comms should be in English and lunchtime chat could be whatever they want.

Is it Wales?

No, this was covered several pages ago.

I speak another language and happen to work in the past in a place where there were three other people who spoke the same language. If there was anyone else present even if not part of the conversation we would switch to English. Your colleagues are being rude and excluding you. You can talk to your boss but I doubt it will make you popular. It should come from your boss. Does he speaks the language too?

I sympathise OP, I have been in your position and it feels unpleasant to feel you’re being excluded. I learnt some of the language to make basic conversation and it was massively appreciated. It didn’t change things overnight or anything but I was in that company for 6 years in the end, able to understand a lot of what was being said.

If you are the person who asks that everyone stops speaking in their language, you will be disliked by others - which will harm your standing at work.

Your options are to start learning some of the language (yeah not an easy task but assuming you plan to be in the job long term and have strong feelings about it, why wouldn’t you do this?) or put up with feeling excluded, or leave.

This is rude and discriminatory IMO. Speak to your manager in these terms and ask them to deal with it.

I think they need some training about Team Building, including what constitutes Bullying in the workplace. Sorry if it has been mentioned previously.

This is banned in my workplace by hr policy

Realistically not many bosses will do anything about it. Like working in a Turkish run restaurant in England everyone speaks the language except 3 or four English people doesn't mean they have to stop sadly. Although it's hard maybe the step you need to make as a minority in that workplace if your not happy is to make and attempt at learning the language yourself.

My bet is that they are French! Very similar experience few times with different groups, but always French. And it was not like they tried to be rude, more like they did not care…

I literally only read OP.
I know I'd be totally intrigued & demand they start teaching me words & phrases & so on. I'd embrace it as an opportunity. I imagine I'll be flamed for saying that

<checks for OP's updates>

yeah fine you told boss & I hope that work out... but why not literally tell the colleagues you'd like them to include you more. You could have said "Oi, are you gals saying how wonderful I am again?! I can't handle all this flattery!" and other things you could imagine they're saying. I'd be coming up with right silly stuff, "What? Your husband ate the dog's chew toy!? You won £12million on lottery 5 years ago but don't want anyone to know? There's a salamander in your pants? ah, that explains a lot..." (etc)

I worked in a place with lots of Polish speakers, both moved here and born here but fully fluent.
There were also people with Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Urdu as first languages so it was normal to hear conversations in different languages and nobody had a problem with that at all for personal chats or banter.
English was expected and enforced for anything work related. Fair enough.
Also lots of English as first or only language speakers so not as excluding as your situation.
Ive seen Polish immigrants tell English/Polish kids to speak English because they are trying to learn and improve their English and being spoken to in Polish all the time isn’t helping them.

I think it is likely that they are so happy to be among people who speak their mother tongue that they forget. I say this as when my partner get together with people from his country they are off. I gently remind him I can't understand and immediately they switch but later will switch again. Despite speakingEnglish fluently it takes a huge amount of energy to do so and it is so much easier to express yourself in your first language.

They're not nice people, they're rude, pure and simple. If they're in the UK and they speak good English, they should do so around those who don't speak their native language. Wherever they're from it's clearly a country with a culture that lacks courtesy.

YANBU I think it’s very rude and I would speak to management. I used to have a few colleagues like this and they would include me in their conversations as I speak quite a few languages but I would always respond in English and jokingly remind them that we were in a shared work environment and there were other staff members around. In a professional capacity, in England I think you should speak in English. If you’re on the tube, out for dinner or anywhere else for that matter then whatever you please.

I work for a company Spanish owned (in the uk). There is policy that staff must only speak English. We have a large diverse team from lots of different countries.

Of course if they are on their lunch they speak their own language. Sometimes at work too but whenever some comes near that is English they switch to English.

It doesn’t seem right that they speak in another language so often and it definitely needs addressing.

Could you try learning their language and making a point of telling them in a way that you are doing it for inclusivity and also tell your boss so they know too… it’s hard for them to wriggle out of you word it in diversity/inclusivity speak - and it’s always helpful to learn new languages

@Babbleoff have things improved?

excluding you this way is actually a form of bullying, I can’t believe the posters that are suggesting it’s you that needs to change!

My DD had the same exact Uni experience in London. Luckily, she had one main Uni friend that had completed the same course at Art College and had gone onto the same Art Uni (different Art degree/lectures), otherwise her Uni experience would have been very isolating. DD also had a few brief Uni acquaintances that spoke English and that were not Chinese, but she would only see these English speaking students in lectures, not socially.

DD lived at home throughout Uni so was fortunate to be able continue to socialise with her college friends, other friends and family. DD’s main Uni friend and most of her college friends also lived at home in and around London so they were able to continue to nurture their friendships during and post Uni.

DP previously worked in Europe on contracts for periods over the years and took it upon himself to learn languages (German, French and Dutch) because he wanted to and because he enjoys learning languages), not because his colleagues would not speak English in his presence. Some of his colleagues spoke English to him if they were able to, some didn’t as their English was non existent - fine as DP was not in the U.K.
In addition, DP attended evening language classes in some countries after work, with the employers paying for the language courses.

As an adult, DP decided to learn and his parents’ Mother tongue language and now speaks it fluently. He’s one of those lucky people that pick up languages quickly. He also had loads of spare time outside of work as he worked abroad during the week, returning home to family life on the weekend.

I’ve already posted up thread that OP’s situation is a form of bullying and that they should take the matter to their Manager.

It always baffles me how much people twist what's said to fit their own agenda 😆

🥱

I'm from a non-English speaking country and English people who visit and settle there never, ever make an attempt to learn our language. They speak English all the time. Maybe your colleagues have had that to put up with. I've lived in UK for years but in a situation where I'm with my own country people it doesn't occur to me to speak English. I don't want to. & not speaking English doesn't mean I'm bitching about a colleague either. There are people I work with who speak to each other in their own language I couldn't care less. Get on with your work or leave, those seem your 2 best options

She has explained that it's not actually possible for her to "get on with her work" because the job involves collaboration with her colleagues, who are excluding her from the work-related conversations.

I'm sorry that you have been disappointed in the attitude of English people in your country, but you're not seriously suggesting that two wrongs make a right here?

I've been in this situation at work myself also in England. it made me feel incredibly isolated, lonely, uncomfortable and miserable if I'm honest as I sometimes felt paranoid that they were talking and laughing about me. luckily I was only there a few months before leaving for a new job. Migrants have come to England in such large numbers that they have developed their own communities so no need to bother to speak English as plenty of their native language speakers around. years ago they would have had to speak English and mix more with native English speakers. there were a few employees where I worked that couldn't speak any English at all (Eastern Europeans) I know how you feel. I never complained at work and just got on with my job but I was glad to be out of there when I left.

Even if it was Wales and Welsh being spoken,

I make an effort to talk to people. On occasions a conversation i have started gets picked up by someone else and they take over and continue in their language.

This is being rude.

(I am Welsh, I am not a Welsh speaker, but fully support the Welsh language. Some Welsh speakers, just like in any other group of people, can be thoughtless and/or dicks.)