H spending a whole day ( the only day he has ) mowing the lawn

[yawnlawn]

Is it necessary? Does it take the whole day?

He spends the whole day out there. I occasionally go out with the kids, but as they're young, they get in the way and it becomes stressful too. He's probably spent about an hour with us today.

He always finds something else to do.

Our lawn is just under an acre and takes my husband just over 1hr 1/2 including getting rid of the grass properly. So unless he’s mowing something at least 3 acres and up a huge hill, he’s just taking the piss.

Which day does he do it?

If it's a Sunday, book a spa day for that day and book a teenager to do the lawn on Saturday or as someone else said take a half day during the week and get someone to do it then.

Then tell him the morning he plans on mowing that sorry, you can't today I'm going out. Wait until he's about to mow, otherwise he might make up that he was going to do something else and has to go out that day too. Wait until it's clear he was going to mow and has nowhere else to be.

Then leave and have a nice steam and sauna somewhere and relax.

He sounds dreadful.

I would say definitely avoiding parenting. Unless it’s acres and acres.

DH used to do gardening jobs when we had young children. It was just an excuse not to be a parent and have piece and quiet.
We have a robot lawn mower now that they are older and pleasant to be around.

My husband is very fussy about our lawn. Garden is approx 90ft long and he likes his stripes. He's also very ill with a life limiting illness, and has a fractured spine for which he has to wear a special back brace. He can still get the lawn looking perfect in under an hour (I don't do it good enough apparently so he still struggles through with it).

Is your DH using a pair of scissors to cut the grass?

Did you tell him 'you say the job had to be done however an entire day to mow the lawn is ridiculous and meant I got no time away from the kids so the next day you have off will be daddy-children bonding time and I will spend the day doing whatever I want'

it wins the quote of the day badge!

So basically he’s a shit husband and dad but there are no consequences that he suffers as a result. If he does make moves on you later it might be a good time to remind him that his failure to parent and be a decent husband to you during the day kills all attraction you have for him so you’re not in the mood in the evening. I would also have a look on your local Facebook group for a temporary gardener.

We have 4 acres. To do a basic cut (excluding round trees, fences, pond etc) a basic cut on our cylinder gang mower takes approx 2 hours. He's taking the piss.

Ours is 1.5 acres and takes 2.5-3 hrs

Ours needs is weekly but 100ft garden done in an hour.....does he have a man cave out there or is it a massive estate?

Have you told him being a father is the most important job he will ever do and his kids need to spend quality time with him....he can do the shed when they are teenagers and not interested in him anymore.?

We have a smallish garden which takes 20mins. When the children were small we cut the lawn but did minimum gardening. My friend had 3 children and a very neat garden - mostly lawn. Apparently her husband gardened most weekends - he wasn't a keen gardener but just prioritised it over playing with the children, taking them out - 'must do the garden first'. The children are all grown up now and he prides himself on being a 'wonderful Dad' but when she told me that story I thought it really sad.

No doubt he'll want sex later and then throw a strop if he doesn't get any
How attractive. A lazy sex pest. Step up and do some parenting pig!

So tell him you’ll swap - he can have the kids all day while you get on with the chores.

And God, these men who treat their wives like shit, and then wonder why the sex dries up. There are not enough 🙄 in the world.

Growing up I had a neighbour who when he retired had little else to do but tend to the garden. All the 'friends' he had when working suddenly dropped him when he retired (he was a town planner, so you can guess why I thought that they had been friends, though wholly unproven).

He did not spend as long though as the OPs DH, even though he would cut the back lawn on a Sunday afternoon with a noisy mower instead of other times which would not disturb anyone.

Definitely seems avoidance to me of a share of parenting.

Mow my lawn every week 2 acres takes 2 hours

He says these are important things that need to be done and he needs to do them.

I’d be asking him to consider where parenting his children and supporting his wife come in his list of ‘important things that need to be done’ because at the moment it feels like the bottom, and if he doesn’t re-prioritise soon he’ll find all he has left to worry about will be his lawn and his garage because his family will be gone.

Could you mow the lawn and faff about in the garden (i.e. sit in the shed with a cup of tea) whilst he looks after the children?

Hard relate. My husband loves doing DIY, servicing car, garden stuff whilst I get left with the childcare / boring inside domestic stuff. It’s bloody boring and unfair!

So he doesn't take kids with him. Mine takes all 4 if he's in garden on a day off and it usually becomes a circus out there but hey it gives me space for a bit lol

Can you use the money you are saving while your gardener is out of action to pay for someone to watch the kids?

Could this be a permanent solution to allow you to have a regular break. He clearly has no intention of changing his ways. It’s up to you if you decide to stay together but if you do I’d be focusing on spending family money in a way that most benefits the family and from what you have said, that is giving you the opportunity to rest and recharge so you have the energy to do everything else you are doing.

Im sorry OP. He sounds like a waste of space

Hey that’s rubbish for you. I don’t have any answers but you deserve better x

Suggest a robot mower. Ours was a game changer. It takes itself out every morning and 'trims'. I thought it was a ridiculous expense initially but we don't have a cleaner or gardener and actually it buys back our own time.