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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour and big lorry

120 replies

Senzi · 02/06/2023 09:38

Neighbour A lives a few doors down from neighbour B. A runs a business from home and has a weekly delivery where a large lorry enters the street to deliver stock.

B doesn’t like the lorry as she likes her kids to play out in nice weather and worries a lorry is imposing some danger towards her children. B reports A to the local council. Council investigate and finds nothing unreasonable or untoward.

A has since found alternative premises to receive deliveries but has outed B on the neighbourhood WhatsApp group. A has said B is nothing but spiteful and deceitful as could have quite easily had a chat with A and come to an agreement about any concerns or issues rather than reporting A anonymously to the council. B maintains they have done nothing wrong as she just wants her children to feel safe outside their own home.

who is being unreasonable A or B?

OP posts:

Readyplayerthr33 · 02/06/2023 16:08

EmpressMoo · 02/06/2023 16:04

A is more in the wrong.

It might have been better for B to speak to A first for neighbourly relations but that rather depends on whether A is a reasonable person... Maybe not, if A is the kind of person to slag people off on social media. Perhaps B felt it was a more neutral way to deal with it if this is how A has reacted to B complaining.

If it is permitted by the covenants, local laws and regulations to run a business that has regular large deliveries, B can do nothing about it. I don't see why she shouldn't speak to the council about it to see if it is permitted if she doesn't like it though. It doesn't harm A if she is doing nothing wrong, only if she is breaking the law/regulations. There is no real harm done by B to A in reporting it to the council if A is doing nothing wrong.

Telling everyone about it on social media is far worse, it's bullying.

How does A know that B reported her if the report was "anonymous"? Or is A just saying that to make B seem underhand?

They didn’t tell everyone about it on social media.

They posted in the neighbour WhatsApp chat. Probably along the lines of “It’s come to my attention that B has made complaints to the council and they have upheld that I’ve done nothing wrong. It would have been better for B to actually come and speak to me and I hope others can do in the future etc.”

When you do shit to your neighbours, it is perfectly reasonable for your neighbours to discuss what you did in the neighbourhood WhatsApp groups. That is what it is for.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 02/06/2023 16:16

B is being a twat. I’m sure A has had enough of hearing B’s screaming kids playing outside in the road. A doesn’t own the road so A is BU. A should focus on watching her precious kids better. I bet A doesn’t complain when the bin lorry comes once a week.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 02/06/2023 16:18

I mean B! I’m frazzled sorry.

Arightoldcarryabag · 02/06/2023 16:20

I wonder which of the dickheads OP is??

If we can't get along with our neighbours then we only succeed in making our own lives miserable.
I have some neighbours who annoy the hell out of me, but I am courteous and respectful in every interaction as what is the alternative?

OhmygodDont · 02/06/2023 16:34

The op has to be B.

A knows they are not in the wrong as proven by the council so wouldn’t be on here questioning it. B is hoping to be all but Mumsnet says so the council is just shit. 😂 I think anyway.

EmpressMoo · 02/06/2023 16:35

I'm glad your not my neighbour, @Readyplayerthr33 😂Posting it on the neighbour WhatsApp group is worse than social media in many ways, it's far more personal and ensures everyone will see it rather than a random FB post.

A might be reasonable to have weekly deliveries if they are permitted but B is entitled not to like it and to report it to the council if she believes it is unsafe/not allowed. That has no impact on A if she isn't breaking the law, does it? No harm has been done to A.

Trying to humiliate B by slagging her off to the neighbours is just bullying. A is basically saying complain about me and I'll make you regret it. Which is probably why B didn't speak to A directly in the first place. A is the one who is being spiteful, not B!

RollinRollinRollinRawhide · 02/06/2023 16:41

I’m with @EmpressMoo
I’m assuming op is A as they question WhatsApp being SM, as if that makes it any better!

Nordicrain · 02/06/2023 16:42

They both sound ridiculous. I am guessing you are A, or related to them somehow.

OhmygodDont · 02/06/2023 17:40

RollinRollinRollinRawhide · 02/06/2023 16:41

I’m with @EmpressMoo
I’m assuming op is A as they question WhatsApp being SM, as if that makes it any better!

Fair point.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 17:42

Hankunamatata · 02/06/2023 09:42

Neither tbh. I wouldn't like a huge hgv regularly coming down my street and perhaps B felt she couldn't approach A. A is now just as bad 'outing' on what's app then they could have gone and had a chat with B and cleared the air

Why on earth not?!?! 😂😂 Is your street made of 14th century crystal?

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 17:44

Lorries generally go much slower than cars/vans, especially in residential areas

rwalker · 02/06/2023 17:56

B is out of order tell her she need to watch her kids
who let there kids play in the rd
they’d be safe if she watched them and kept them off the rd

well done for A calling her out

tommyshelbysbunnit · 02/06/2023 18:52

I would say op is A

JudgeRudy · 02/06/2023 19:25

Neighbour B is not unreasonable to report something that she genuinely feels is a danger to her children and unlawful. Shes under no obligation to discuss it with B.
What baffles me though is that the Council bothered to investigate when there seems to be little evidence of possible wrong doing. How did A find out they were being investigated (and exonerated) in the first place and how did they find out it was B, if it was anonymous?
I don't think A is wrong either to share what ever she wants on the WhatsApp group if it's true.

Gothambutnotahamster · 02/06/2023 21:07

Hankunamatata · 02/06/2023 09:42

I agree with this!

pictoosh · 03/06/2023 06:23

Good for you!
You don't get to choose the traffic!

Bloopsie · 03/06/2023 06:36

B is being UR.

Roads are there for the vehicles not for playing children, use your garden go to park etc.

Why does B think only lorry can cause a an accident, in my previous house a police chased down a car thief down our cul de sac and he drove through our metal gate and stopped at the wall of our house. It was otherwise too quiet cul de sac. You never know whos going to come down the road.

Shoxfordian · 03/06/2023 06:41

B is ridiculous

londonrach · 03/06/2023 06:46

B but can see why she cross and a shouldn't be running a business from home with large delivery. So both really. One of my neighbours the same and has a delivery every day which blocks all the cars in their car parking spaces...however it's early...6-6.30 am and all over in 10 mins so doesn't effect anyone at that time and they lovely neighbours who help everyone..the lorry become my alarm clock so be lost without it now... In the case you mentioned both are at fault but sounds like it's be resolved. B though doesn't own road

Sceptre86 · 03/06/2023 07:27

B sounds like the type of parent who chuck their kids out from morning to dusk.How hard is it to get them to play in a garden (if they have one) rather than out on the street. B also should have spoken to A. A was a bit petty to call out B infrony of everyone but I don't blame them.

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