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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School reunion, everyone’s life is just the same

156 replies

Schooldinners1 · 01/06/2023 19:01

Was wondering how others found seeing their old classmates and going back to your old town.

The majority of people have stayed living in the same area, not far from their parents and haven’t really ventured anywhere outside of it.

I am wondering how it’ll go. I’m one of the few people who went to uni in a totally new city hundreds of miles away and never moved back!

It will be interesting. It’s going to be at the community hall I had my primary school discos in 😄

OP posts:
DappledThings · 01/06/2023 19:03

I was invited to one 24 years after we'd left. Firstly it annoyed me it wasn't left one more year to make it a significant anniversary, secondly I joined the FB group but didn't recognise a single person in it so didn't consider going.

HazyDragon · 01/06/2023 19:04

Just because you've moved out of the area and others haven't, doesn't mean their lives are 'just the same' as they were when at school.

Go with an open mind.

Elvis1956 · 01/06/2023 19:07

I avoided our one for the whole school year, but organised a small one for about 10 of us earlier this year...it was great. It was just for the 6th form gang so we didn't have the idiot brigade (at least 4 of my senior school class have been to prison...it was a rough school/area). And it was fascinating to see what people have done/where they moved etc

Original poster
Schooldinners1 · 01/06/2023 19:15

Elvis1956 · 01/06/2023 19:07

I avoided our one for the whole school year, but organised a small one for about 10 of us earlier this year...it was great. It was just for the 6th form gang so we didn't have the idiot brigade (at least 4 of my senior school class have been to prison...it was a rough school/area). And it was fascinating to see what people have done/where they moved etc

It was fascinating to see my childhood best friends photo of her as a woman in her 30’s she looks so mature 😂

I do think it is nice to keep in contact really. We hardly speak but I don’t mind keeping up to date with each other and maybe a drink every few years is a nice thing to do.

OP posts:
TUCKINGFYP0 · 01/06/2023 19:16

HazyDragon · 01/06/2023 19:04

Just because you've moved out of the area and others haven't, doesn't mean their lives are 'just the same' as they were when at school.

Go with an open mind.

This. You sound like you are judging them .

SunnySaturdayMorning · 01/06/2023 19:17

HazyDragon · 01/06/2023 19:04

Just because you've moved out of the area and others haven't, doesn't mean their lives are 'just the same' as they were when at school.

Go with an open mind.

This. Don’t be a snob, it’s not a good look.

NapoleonDidSurrender · 01/06/2023 19:18

Don’t act like you are better than them and pity them. It’s not a good vibe to give off.

Namechangedforthis25 · 01/06/2023 19:20

op I think you sound like a nice person but your comment could seem a bit judgey

your peers could have families, may have great careers, May have travelled - just keep an open mind

ChiChaNaYubi · 01/06/2023 19:20

wow

Toottooot · 01/06/2023 19:21

Do you think you’re better than them because you’ve left and they haven’t? Sounds like you have a superior opinion of yersel.

DancedByTheLightOfTheMoon · 01/06/2023 19:24

Bet they can't wait till you show up and tell them where they're all going wrong.

Changeling78 · 01/06/2023 19:26

Not just me that caught the undertones then 🙄

Unicorn2022 · 01/06/2023 19:28

I went to one about a fortnight ago, it's been 30 years since I left school. There was a WhatsApp group set up for the occasion and the chat has continued since, and honestly you would be forgiven for thinking the group contains current year 10s by the way they are speaking. Some of them remember their school days in such minute detail as if they just left last year. It's been eye opening to see how many people's personalities haven't changed a bit since school, and not in a positive way either.

Sellotape6 · 01/06/2023 19:29

TUCKINGFYP0 · 01/06/2023 19:16

This. You sound like you are judging them .

Show quote history

Yeah you really do. You sound like you feel smug about leaving and judgmental about them staying.

Just because it was right for you to move to a new city doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.

bertiesgal · 01/06/2023 19:31

I moved away, lived abroad etc. I now live 5 minutes from where I was born. Everything about my life is different including the fact I’ve had cancer. It’s frustrating to think that my old pals who live away would think they’re the only ones who have “changed”. I suspect that the sort of people who think they’re the only people to have changed because they changed location once or twice in their life have in fact, probably changed the least!

Berlinlover · 01/06/2023 19:32

I’ve lived in four different countries but had to move back to my hometown to care for my Dad.

LlynTegid · 01/06/2023 19:32

My mum still lives in the house I spent the latter part of my childhood in. Several of her neighbours still there, and their children (and grandchildren) visit, so I have spoken with them over the years.

Not aware of a school reunion ever happening, would be interesting to know what happened to those I never heard of after leaving school, though would be happy if it was secondhand not by meeting them.

For about a year I worked in the place I grew up in, and for a business reason visited my old school. The school secretary was the same, her son was stuck up when at school, chose not to mention this.

Blondey2023 · 01/06/2023 19:34

I still live in the same county as I did when I was at school but I've lived a very fulfilled and colourful life. To be honest you don't sound like you want to go, so don't.

gegs73 · 01/06/2023 19:35

I moved to London when I was young away from a pretty small town with seemingly little opportunity. When I hear of my peers now who stayed put they seem to have mostly done very well for themselves. Interesting jobs, lots have paid off their mortgages (no chance here) and have their family all living around them with money to have nice holidays. I’d be careful about judging.

Fairislefandango · 01/06/2023 19:37

The majority of people have stayed living in the same area, not far from their parents and haven’t really ventured anywhere outside of it.

Wow - I'd be really surprised by that. Where I was at school, virtually nobody still lives where they grew up.

waitingondr · 01/06/2023 19:38

Like others have said, you should go in with an open mind. Just because people haven't moved didn't mean they're not happy in life. I moved away for ten years and was delighted to come back to my roots after.

I was at a local wedding a few years back and speaking to someone who had moved away. I don't know if it was intentional, but she came across as... smug/ feeling superior. She was commenting on the unhealthy food people were buying the day previous and how the local diet must be truly awful. It turns out, she had been in the local bakery and this was what she was referring too haha! I avoided conversations with her, she was a bore.

Freeballing · 01/06/2023 19:39

I don't live where I grew up but it was somewhere tourists pay a bomb to visit, so scenic they make films there, regular whale visitors, on a day like today(gloriously sunny here) it would rival any tropical island. I really don't blame the people that stayed there for staying. I wistfully think about moving back sometimes myself.

ComtesseDeSpair · 01/06/2023 19:42

I sort of feel that reunions were more exciting and enjoyable before social media. As it is, when I went to mine last year I knew more or less what most of the women I went to school with were doing already, either because we’re “friends” on FB or of those I’m not because occasionally over the years I’ve had an idle browse at their profiles.

It was quite nice to catch up though - and to be honest, I’d probably drawn a few inaccurate conclusions regarding some of them from their social media. And it was interesting to speak to women living lives very different from the ones I and my now friends live who I wouldn’t otherwise ever socialise with.

Sissynova · 01/06/2023 19:43

Staying in the same town doesn’t mean your life is the same as when you were in school…
You might have moved to a ‘big city’ for uni but it hasn’t opened your mind.

User57632678372 · 01/06/2023 19:43

I’ve grown up in London and the vast majority still live here (career opportunities on the door step meant less of a need to go elsewhere I'm guessing) and I still see many of them at the local pub. None of our lives have stayed the same in the slightest. If anything I find it fascinating listening to how everyone’s lives have turned out so differently when I bump into the ones I haven’t seen for a while.

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