School reunion, everyone’s life is just the same

[Schooldinners1]

Was wondering how others found seeing their old classmates and going back to your old town.

The majority of people have stayed living in the same area, not far from their parents and haven’t really ventured anywhere outside of it.

I am wondering how it’ll go. I’m one of the few people who went to uni in a totally new city hundreds of miles away and never moved back!

It will be interesting. It’s going to be at the community hall I had my primary school discos in 😄

I say this as someone one who hasn’t stayed in her hometown - why is it depressing?

my friends who still live in my hometown have great lives - beautiful homes, great careers, amazing holidays!

I moved away for work - my life is pretty similar to theirs - I just don’t know as many people in my area - I still go to work and to the shops and out for dinner. People who live on different places aren’t living wielding different lives generally!

One of my friends who still lives in our home town has done amazing things - travels extensively (is actually in China right now, having been in Canada just a few months ago) and has really interesting hobbies. She is also a surgeon.

people who live in their home town aren’t automatically low achieving, narrow minded frumps with limited life experience you know😂

I'd say we'd be the opposite-nobody in our area could afford to live there after they moved out-we all live in different countries now. I didn't go to ours because I couldn't at the time but it's only now years on I think I should have tried harder-it sounded fun!

Sorry that was counties not countries!!!

It is attitudes like the OPs that put people off going to school reunions. Nobody wants to spend the night meeting up with people from school there to feel superior because they moved to a city 😯!

You seem quite giddy at seeing yourself as the ‘worldly’ one for going to uni in a different city and…staying there.

And you come across like you think your ‘friend’ looks old. 😆

Moving away or staying was by far the least interesting thing about the girls I met again at our 20 year reunion!

It wouldn't be for me. My best friend is excellent as keeping in touch with everybody, so I don't have too.

I had a really difficult childhood and I don't want to remember anything from it except the time I spent with bf and her family.

Some of you are from decent hometowns and lovely backgrounds and I think that’s lovely… I was probably living in one of the most deprived places in the country and it’s even worst now. Getting out was so important for us.

Oh so definitely think you’re better than the plebs who stayed then.

Are you from Royston Vasey?

@Schooldinners1

My home town was/is deprived (very infact). I still didn’t want to leave my family. I’ve been very successful because I’ve had the infrastructure around me to enable me to follow my dreams. There’s no way with three young children I would have been able to qualify as a clinical psych without the help and support of my family and that’s even with the support of my husband (who is also a fellow pleb who never left).

Your initial post came across as incredibly smug and I’d be careful to judge those ones who stayed. You definitely aren’t more worldly just because you went off to Uni in a different place.

Up here in the north we stay where were put so I regularly see my classmates out and about anyway, so that’s probably why noones bothered to set one up! The only ones I don’t really see are the ones in prison 😂

When I was a teenager I used to think it would very glamorous to move away. I imagined myself living in a big American city living a wild life with an amazing corporate job.

I have friends who moved to Singapore and Sydney and New York. Their lives are pretty similar to mine! my Most unhappy friend lives just off bondi beach. My happiest friend has three kids and lives in the next street to her parents.

location is just one small factor in our lives.

The idea that you have to move away from home to have a happy life feels silly and outdated to me. Growing up, so many stories seemed to be about people who 'got out', and that makes sense if you live in a horrible place or somewhere with extremely limited options, but there's much to be said for the benefits of not moving too far away. It's not an automatic success story to move away, nor is it a sign of failure to be happy in the area where you were born.

(I've never attended a reunion, despite living near my old school. Just not interested in having my life picked over by people I no longer know or particularly care about.)

Misses the point but this reminds me of the song High School Never Ends

If you have the privilege to have a good family and firm friends, then I've come to realize it's nothing less than an act of unnecessary self sabotage to ditch them for anything but the most grave of reasons.

Between the childcare industry slowly grinding to a halt, the cost of living crisis and the increasing epidemic of loneliness with it's cascade of health and social consequences, the idea that a family and community is simply a 'nice to have' is looking like one of those toxic luxury beliefs.

I didn't go to mine. Mum was horrified (she went to a boarding school and they have reunions every 10 years, she was an only child and was very close to her school friends) but I wasn't interested in spending hundreds to fly home to see a bunch of people I didn't like then and have even less in common with now. The ones I liked I still see.

My FIL went to one at his old school (also boarding) after retirement. He said it was a bunch of old men and he didn't recognise any of them 😂.

I lived overseas for 10+ years. When I came home I caught up with 15 old friends for a big lunch. It really showed me that I had nothing in common with these people anymore!

Not because I'd moved away, but because really I had not much in common with them all those years ago but as a teenager you make it work.

I now live quite close to wear I grew up and couldn't be happier to be near my family again. I actually feel secretly sad for those who aren't living near family.

I now live 2 miles from where I lived as a child. But in the 28 years since I left school, I moved away to go to Uni, did an undergrad and postgrad, travelled the world, have a high flying career which has also seen me travel but now I'm here as it's a nice town for my kids to grow up, schools are good and it's close to my parents. So I hope people don't see me as an under-achiever as I live where I grew up😬

Same here. I planned to live in eg New York. Ended up living 5 miles from parents' home. No regrets

I still live in the same area of north London where I grew up ( 10 minutes from my parents ) and often see friends I went to school with. I went to a London University, which was within commuting distance, and I work in a central London hospital.

I have to say I don't see myself as parochial or lacking in ambition. London is a big place and I've seen my share of humanity and inhumanity.

We all went to University, mostly in London, and of my friends who have moved away, most are no longer residents of this country - although a number would dearly like to come back.

But then I guess it depends on where you lived and grew up. As I said, London is a big place. A lot goes on here.

Yes I do understand and if I perhaps lived somewhere in London I would most probably do the same. I lived in an absolute dump though, there was one corner shop that had alcoholics lined up outside at 8am. Really terrible place that we worked hard to leave.

Double chins and married to the first guy that looked twice in high school I’d suspect.

It's not necessarily moving away physically but moving on mentally. I've met a couple of people since school that basically bullied me. They still think that as an adult they are higher up the pecking order. Bloody depressing! I think some people 'peak' at school and after that it doesn't matter where they are they stil think they are better than others.

True, and I am not dismissing the importance of close friends and community ties BUT the world is large and opportunities are plenty. I like the idea of changing everything...

It's interesting how fortune does also really seem to favour the bold and opportunity knocks at the door of those who seek and desire adventure. There are two people I am thinking of from primary school, both prob had the most difficult time there as unusual characters in a world where people were identikit and conformist, they have unimaginable lives...

She wants to be clean, and pure, and... LOCAL!!