School reunion, everyone’s life is just the same

[Schooldinners1]

Was wondering how others found seeing their old classmates and going back to your old town.

The majority of people have stayed living in the same area, not far from their parents and haven’t really ventured anywhere outside of it.

I am wondering how it’ll go. I’m one of the few people who went to uni in a totally new city hundreds of miles away and never moved back!

It will be interesting. It’s going to be at the community hall I had my primary school discos in 😄

I think it's unfair to judge those who stayed behind. You say you lived somewhere incredibly deprived - so surely it stands to reason that many of your classmates probably couldn't afford to leave, even if they wanted to?

Not everyone can just work hard and move somewhere better. It's great that you managed but I'd say you're very much the exception.

It’s the fact the OP has these views (fair enough) and actively wants to attend the reunion, whereby she will secretly snigger at the ones with missing teeth.

I find that distasteful. If you don’t want to meet these people again then just don’t go. Don’t sneer in the corner. I guess people never really do change when they leave school……

You sound like you don't want to go. So don't

Having missing front teeth is shocking behaviour. Stop acting like you love it. Or maybe you do.

Most of my school friends stayed in the small city we went to school in! I moved away but to the city I was born in and honestly it always felt like home! I couldn't imagine living in the city I grew up in, even though it's a beautiful city and a popular tourist destination!

I wish I had lived abroad though and travelled more but I'm only in my 30s so could still do that I suppose!

We had a reunion 10 years ago and I did wonder if there'd be one this year but might organise one for 25 years! That gives me time to lose weight 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Op I think it's sad how judgemental you have come across.. even describing your child hood best friend of looking "mature" sounds bitchy!!

Everyone makes judgements, you make the best judgements for yourself and your family?

Employers make judgements.. people in their jobs. I made my judgements and still do.

You are always assessing things and weighing up pros and cons.

I’m a property developer now and do the same every time I visit properties and meet potential tenants.

@Schooldinners1

Look…. If I felt that strongly about it, I simply wouldn’t go. Personally what’s worrying behaviour is you having these views (fair enough) and still wanting to go. it’s mean.

These people you refer to have no doubt been disadvantaged their whole lives, they probably don’t need the mean girl rocking up sneering at them.

When did I say I loved people with missing teeth? That’s your true nature coming out to play I’m afraid. I simply said I wouldn’t be so quick to judge and I stand by that as someone who didn’t leave their deprived home town.

@Schooldinners1

You are right in that everyone makes judgements, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. It’s just mean going into a school reunion though with your sneery and judgemental attitude (and please don’t pretend otherwise, it’s clearly evident, and has been since your first post).

Well I hope you enjoy yourself.

We’re in the UK anyone can do anything they want here if they looked in the right places.

We moved to this country penniless from a 3rd world country.

Perhaps my perspective is different as I’ve seen many immigrants around me succeed and every generation is supported by the last.

Asian people in the UK come with nothing and many in a matter of 10-20 years have built generational wealth.

I was invited to one once, and didn't go but saw the photos from it online and was even more glad that I hadn't gone. Nobody I'd been friends with went, and the people in the photos looked to be ones who had stayed local and continued to be friends beyond school.

So I think if it's something you'd enjoy, fine and go along, but it's not for me.

This has all gone a bit weird.

@Schooldinners1

Ahh, so that’s why you want to go. To parade your higher social status despite your “humble beginnings”. If you were truly humble you just wouldn’t go. Out of curiosity why do you want to attend when you’re clearly so disparaging about your school cohort?

You are essentially just sneering at these people with “missing teeth” and blaming them for not making a better life for themselves, because you yourself were able to do so.

Honestly, you just sound very mean and haven’t given me a reason to think there’s one genuine reason why you would want to attend this school reunion, other than to look down on people.

Asian people in the UK come with nothing and many in a matter of 10-20 years have built generational wealth

Wow, I've seen some sweeping generalisations on here but, 'all immigrants from the continent of Asia come with nothing and build up generational wealth in one to two decades', is perhaps the winner.

@FourTeaFallOut

She also mentions that each generation is supported by the last. Whilst I don’t doubt that to be true, the OP makes no allowances for cultural differences/variations.

There are many disadvantaged people within our society who lack social support networks. Certainly a lot of her cohort may not have been able to afford to leave their home town to attend university.

I agree though this thread has gone a bit weird 😂. The OP has not stated why she wishes to attend this reunion.

😂😂😂😂

I didn’t say all but you’ll have to admit there has been many!

@Schooldinners1

So, why do you want to go?

Please admit that you have written this thread for a laugh @Schooldinners1 Surely you can't really be that misinformed and judgemental.

I'm Oxbridge too, and for me possibly the greatest life benefit the prestigious qualifications have provided is not having to do that. To be able to live where I want and know I'm still in a position to work and earn.

Well, yes, there's that too!

Most people who have had that kind of experience don't end up going 'home', though (and particularly not if 'home' is the kind of place the OP describes).

In my cohort, nearly everyone went to London initially, and then after a few years a good chunk of those from northern English cities like me, plus the Welsh, Scottish and Irish did indeed return 'home'. In some cases it was always the plan, in others it seemed to be a combination of family ties, house prices/size and help with childcare all coming on gradually.

I went to one in 2008, and it was lovely to see everyone. It was a really good evening. Definitely don’t feel the need to do it again though

I moved from end of the continent to the other and to this day the only place i really want to live, is my parent's house

hey ho

I agree with this - it applies to me as well.

I still live in the nearest "big town" to where I grew up. I have a great career, earn over the 90th centile in the country for wages, and there has been no need so far for me to move to London or whichever other exotic clime would have adequately qualified me as not "parochial". My mortgage will be paid off by the age of 30. I have my family nearby, a range of great friends. I can afford holidays to all sorts of interesting places, seeing amazing archaeology and culture.

The town is absolutely a mixed bag - there are wealthy bits and parts that are stricken with poverty. But if everyone who can do leaves you end up in a vicious cycle with a larger and larger proportion of the town living in poor conditions and that's not of any benefit to anyone.

OP, I know you want to go along to show them how worldly you are and how much better than them you are now, but….why?