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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My boyfriend told me he informs his parents when we have sex- AIBU to be upset?

103 replies

Redrose28 · 01/06/2023 18:03

Hi all. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable here, but I just feel so upset.

I am 22 and my boyfriend is 26. We are both not very sexually experienced, and we have both got some issues- me being very tight down there and him going soft. His parents live abroad, but he is very close to them. His father has come over for a visit today from his country and I met him in the morning. My bf has told me that his parents know everything about him, and he speaks with them about anything. He is often calling and texting them.

A couple of things happened before that made me think that he may be talking about private matters about us with his family. Then, yesterday , he told me that when his father comes he will be sure to ask about his intimate issues to get advice. He told me he would also be willing to speak to his mother about my intimate issues.

I started to get a little uncomfortable, and I outright asked, do you tell your parents we have sex(oral). And he told me that sometimes after we do the deed, he lets them know that we’ve ‘just had fun’. He told me that since he is a virgin his parents in a way are keeping an eye on him in this regard, and he wants to keep them updated, since it’s not that usual that a 26 year old male is a virgin.

I’m not sure what else exactly he has discussed with them and I’m worried he’s shared more intimate things, especially relating to me. I feel upset and quite icky. Sex is something very private to me. When I was speaking to his father I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable knowing what his son has told him.

Am I overreacting here? I definitely do not want to control my boyfriend, but I just feel violated.

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 01/06/2023 18:06

Weird! But also weird that he co aiders himself a virgin even though you have oral sex… does that mean that lesbians in his eyes are virgins for life?

ChimChimeny · 01/06/2023 18:06

That is so unbelievably weird, I wouldn't tell a close, close friend that level.of.detail, let alone parents! WTF do they even want to know?!

wildfirewonder · 01/06/2023 18:06

That is completely weird and I would reconsider the relationship, if they are so inappropriately involved in his personal life you have a potential nightmare ahead of you.

GrazingSheep · 01/06/2023 18:07

I’d be off as fast as I could go.

AndTheSurveySays · 01/06/2023 18:08

That's really weird and creepy.

Dump him.

Linkstolondon · 01/06/2023 18:08

He sounds a bit weird to me. Why do his parents need to know when you’ve had sex. It’s a huge violation of your privacy at the very least. What’s creepy too is that it sounds like your boyfriend’s father is happy to know this private info.

Noicant · 01/06/2023 18:09

Soooooooo weird, just sooooooo fucking weird. Throw him back!

nahwhale · 01/06/2023 18:09

Why on earth would he do that. That's so creepy

jaychops · 01/06/2023 18:09

WTF!!!

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 01/06/2023 18:09

I don't think you are too tight.

I think it's your vagina sealing itself up in horror at the whole situation.

Regretta · 01/06/2023 18:09

I'm going to call this the weirdest AIBU I've ever seen. Yikes.

Obviously YANBU - I'd be reconsidering the relationship. I'd also be along some serious questions about the boundaries of two parents who wouldn't strongly discourage their adult son from divulging intimate and immediate details about his sex life. Red flags everywhere.

CathyAnne91 · 01/06/2023 18:10

I would leg it ASAP. That sounds so…ick.

InAFettle · 01/06/2023 18:10

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 01/06/2023 18:09

I don't think you are too tight.

I think it's your vagina sealing itself up in horror at the whole situation.

I almost fucking choked on my drink at this 😂😂

Poppyblush · 01/06/2023 18:10

Run! That’s fucked up and weird!

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 01/06/2023 18:12

Where are his family from? It’s great that they are close but it’s a bit much! Is it cultural?

I would fix this by never having sex with him again. Nothing to tell.

If you continue this relationship his parents will know everything about you and him.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 01/06/2023 18:13

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 01/06/2023 18:09

I don't think you are too tight.

I think it's your vagina sealing itself up in horror at the whole situation.

😂😂😂

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 01/06/2023 18:13

I actually don't see him talking to his dad about his OWN floppy cock, but to discuss when you've had oral sex and wanting to speak to his own mum about your intimate issues, is weird AF and I would dump.

ReachForTheMars · 01/06/2023 18:14

Dump.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 01/06/2023 18:14

No one needs to know about their Adult kids sex lives. Or anyone apart from your partner. Run like the wind.

Redrose28 · 01/06/2023 18:14

That’s the thing, he’s great in other ways, which is why this has broken my heart, I am genuinely considering splitting:( dear god, all I want is some privacy . I’m meant to be going out with him and his dad tomorrow too, I feel awful

OP posts:
BeeCucumber · 01/06/2023 18:15

As PP, throw him back.

EllaPaella · 01/06/2023 18:15

Yeah Ok

Blossomtoes · 01/06/2023 18:15

Dump him. If he can’t keep it up at 28 there’s no hope for him.

EllaPaella · 01/06/2023 18:16

Weirdest aibu ever

Frogmila · 01/06/2023 18:16

Not appropriate to bring his parents into your sex life! Even if he was from a culture where that's entirely commonplace, you have expressed discomfort so he should have agreed not to do it again. Next! He will only get weirder and allow them more interference in your lives.