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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude or am I just over polite?

68 replies

sandraybsn · 31/05/2023 23:24

A colleague asked what I was doing for lunch and I said I was meeting a friend downstairs, she asked where she worked and I said in x department.

Colleague said “oh sounds boring to me I couldn’t do that”

Why not just say, “oh ok”. I just don’t see the need to be rude for no reason.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 31/05/2023 23:34

That's not rude, it's just giving an opinion - she wouldn't like that job. It's not denigrating the people that do work there.

Hairday · 31/05/2023 23:36

How is rude? Your friend wasn't even there. People have different interests.

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2023 23:37

As said not rude, just one of those who gives unasked for opinions.

007DoubleOSeven · 31/05/2023 23:37

It was rude.

Not that big a deal,but yes, definitely rude and I think many people would feel it disparaging of those who work in that department m

pizzaHeart · 31/05/2023 23:42

It was unnecessary comment and didn’t show her in the best way. However some departments do sound a bit more boring than others from the outside so maybe it was that?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/05/2023 23:42

I don't think it was rude, if she said it in a "thinking out loud" way. If she said it in a sneering way, maybe.

KrisAkabusi · 31/05/2023 23:45

007DoubleOSeven · 31/05/2023 23:37

It was rude.

Not that big a deal,but yes, definitely rude and I think many people would feel it disparaging of those who work in that department m

So you can no longer say you dislike something in case you offend someone that isn't even part of the conversation? Because you think that's being rude!

TyneTeas · 31/05/2023 23:47

I reckon it was definitely unnecessary whether or not it was rude

LadyGAgain · 31/05/2023 23:48

Unnecessary comment and (to me) sounds rude.

UsingChangeofName · 31/05/2023 23:52

Is it the work in 'x department' she thinks is boring, or the going to lunch with you ?

As that makes my answer different

Wink
Mydusa · 31/05/2023 23:55

It's a bit unnecessary but since it's about a third party who wasn"t even there, I wouldn't call it rude particularly. Are we not allowed to express any negative opinions about anything any more, for fear of offending people who aren't even there?

Original poster
sandraybsn · 01/06/2023 00:25

Mydusa · 31/05/2023 23:55

It's a bit unnecessary but since it's about a third party who wasn"t even there, I wouldn't call it rude particularly. Are we not allowed to express any negative opinions about anything any more, for fear of offending people who aren't even there?

I think that’s just a bit of a hysterical MN mantra. If you really believe you say whatever you want at any given moment, tell your manager their a twat or tell your colleague your new baby is ugly then you have a point.

OP posts:
Catsmere · 01/06/2023 00:33

Sounded a bit rude and definitely unnecessary to me.

Hairday · 01/06/2023 00:34

sandraybsn · 01/06/2023 00:25

I think that’s just a bit of a hysterical MN mantra. If you really believe you say whatever you want at any given moment, tell your manager their a twat or tell your colleague your new baby is ugly then you have a point.

Show quote history

This, on the other hand, seems quite rude. There was nothing "hysterical" about Mydusa's comment. She was just answering the question you put to us

OliviaFlaversham · 01/06/2023 00:37

It was rude in the sense it was an unnecessarily disparaging comment. However, it isn’t something that would play on my mind afterwards.

Okshacky · 01/06/2023 00:37

I think it rude and unnecessary.

Wittsendhasarrived · 01/06/2023 00:39

Hairday · 01/06/2023 00:34

This, on the other hand, seems quite rude. There was nothing "hysterical" about Mydusa's comment. She was just answering the question you put to us

Show quote history

Agree! This comment; directly calling someone you know can read it 'hysterical' for answering your question, is very rude! Don't ask a question you don't want an answer too.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 01/06/2023 00:42

I work in insurance, and people in the company say that about my role all the time.

seagulldown · 01/06/2023 02:01

I work in a generally perceived 'boring' job. It works for me and I don't mind the jokes around it (science related). Even my children think it sounds dull. I enjoy it. We all have different strengths. So I wouldn't be offended if I heard someone say something like that about my job

user1492757084 · 01/06/2023 02:59

It wasn't rude. It wasn't even aimed at your friend, just the area of work that he feels would be boring.

Your friend might very well also feel that the department is boring.

It wan't personal so don't see it that way.

letmedoittoo · 01/06/2023 03:02

I think it's rude.

JandalsAlways · 01/06/2023 03:05

Slightly unnecessary, maybe not rude as such. Probably she just said it without thinking. It's like when you meet someone who's an accountant, I can help but think bla.

LankylegsFromOz · 01/06/2023 03:20

How did we jump from someone saying they think a certain job is boring to someone calling another person's baby is ugly?! One would say that's abit of a hysterical leap! 😉

Anyhow, lots of people say they couldn't do my job. Not because it's boring, but because the people who like it (very few) tend to be viewed as abit weird, as we see the worst of human nature.

I find it a compliment personally 😃

barmycatmum · 01/06/2023 03:28

It’s lacking in social graces, that’s for sure.

Remaker · 01/06/2023 03:30

Oh I love people who share their views on everything without being asked.

I’d respond ‘Thanks, I’ll pass that on’ and walk away.